What must it be like to live in a grown-up country? I bet it’s nice. I bet they have exotic foods there. Like Marmite.

In any event, John McCain’s going to be in Ottawa on Friday. He’s going to give a speech. It’s going to be about North American free trade. He’s going to say he sees it continuing if he becomes president. And this is obviously a crisis.

Indeed, how shameful an event will this be for our country? So shameful that our Prime Minister, having refused to meet with the Republican candidate, will be out of town and has advised all but one cabinet minister and one backbencher to keep an equally safe distance.

Good thing too. Because surely no leader of any self-respecting Western nation would let himself be seen with a man as dangerous and offensive as John McCain. Well, except for this one. And this one. And this one. And this one. And this one.