Categories: Scott Feschuk

Hi! I’m Baby Jesus. Hope you enjoy my blog!

A new batch of shepherds showed up. I’m liveblogging it. 3:22 Bowing. 3:23 Kneeling.

by Scott Feschuk on Monday, December 8, 2008 5:00pm - 148 Comments

3:03 Angels. They are beautiful. Truly one of God’s most inspired creations. I just had no idea how much they shed. There are feathers everywhere.

3:08 How’s this sound: “Do unto others as you would have them do unto other others.” Needs work, right? I’ll give it a polish.

3:22 A new batch of shepherds just showed up. I’m going to liveblog it:

• 3:22:08 Bowing.

• 3:23:44 Kneeling.

• 3:25:16 I think I saw a full-on genuflect there.

• 3:26:11 And again with the bowing.

5:46 Frankincense and myrrh?? I guess it’s true what they say—you really can’t have too much aromatic resin.

6:18 Back to the mailbag. Shepherd 123954644 asks: “How would you feel if over the course of many centuries the joyful celebration of the miracle of your virgin birth was slowly but inexorably transformed into an increasingly secular event characterized by binge eating, an insatiable lust for consumer goods and blindly pagan reverence for a mythical, chronically obese, gift-giving hermit?”

Honest answer: I’d be a bit bummed. That said, what’s with all the cynicism? Doesn’t anyone have a question for me about the Good News I bring and the fact that I am both the light and the way?

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  • Victor W

    What possessed the magazine to post the Compassion Canada ad next to Scott F’s adolescent article?
    Sheer thoughtlessness…but if intentional, cruelness.
    This is not National Lampoon!

  • Andy

    I’m a devout Christian, and because of that if I were reading this to a church group, I’d leave out a couple lines. That said, I found most of it hilarious and was laughing out loud reading this at a magazine stand. Excellent satire, Mr. Feschuk!

    But I construed it as satire not of Christ himself but of some Western-Christian sensibilities. I’m *always* down for some satire on *that* front, that’s for sure.

  • Jesus Christ (isa Islam)

    Islam is the answer and it is not easy to find me. God protects me from people and there evil plans. Indeed God is with me. You will never be able to find me unless I show up myself in front of people and which will only happen with the will of God. I won’t expose myself unless God allows me to.

    If you will read Quran, You will really find me right after you are done reading all of it.

  • James Short

    I’m very religious. In fact I just got off the phone with Jesus. He says this piece was a hoot and a kick in the ass of self-righteousness and hypocrisy. Jesus really hates hypocrisy.

    Yet he told me to ask you if you’d consider switching religions.

  • http://hotmail daniel ramirez

    i think your a very cool guy,i have to tell u i like your blog! but yes i dot know if your a christhan but i
    think God is a person we should honer.i would like to know what u think?. remember,my name is Daniel.

    write back

  • Jack Meogh

    I don’t think this is “ridicule” for Jesus’ birth. I think it is just a slightly humorous perspective on a baby living through the events described in the Bible (and popular culture like “The Little Drummer Boy”). It’s more of a statement about today’s ephemeral culture. I mean really, who has as fun and interesting a life as the one described on their FaceBook page?

    If you’re offended by this, stop reading it, but don’t go criticizing the author or those who find it funny.

  • Sheelagh

    Oh God (ummm…I mean “Hi there! May have an autograph “?). Your blog is simply heavenly and too, too funny. I always new creation (specifically mine), showed God had a ripped sense of humor). Wish I had found your blog at Christmas when it really would have helped , Perhaps if I had prayed ???

  • Miriam

    Hello Scott Feschuk,

    I love your work!! Does that give me permission to correct your use of English? If not, read no further.

    You used the phrase, “try and sell”. That’s incorrect; it should be, “try to sell”. Almost every time we use the word ‘try’ it ought to be followed by “to”, as in, “try to find”.

    ‘and’ can only be used where each word can stand on its own in the sentence, such as, “shot and killed”.

    Thanks.

  • http://www.ucg.org Sabbat

    Thanks for reply.
    God bless you.
    To know more go Sabbath
    Thanks

  • Student

    This kinda sucks because we studies this in class, thanks!

  • student from tra

    first post !!!!!!!!!!!!

  • Randy

    what will i have for Christmas? thank you

  • C.D.

    Why did God punish Randy and remove one of his balls? He did nothign wrong…

  • http://devilandgod.com rashidajones

    Considerably, the post is in reality the top on spiritual discussion and valuable theme. I concur together with your conclusions and will thirstily look forward for your upcoming religious updates and articles.

  • http://devilandgod.com rashidajones

    Considerably, the post is in reality the top on spiritual discussion and valuable theme. I concur together with your conclusions and will thirstily look forward for your upcoming religious updates and articles.

  • http://twitter.com/darleenw @darleenw

    It is funny. Lighten up everyone. It is not making fun at Christianity or Jesus – read it again without your cynicism turned on :)
    Laughing at ourselves is healthy. Of course that is just my opinion.

  • http://twitter.com/darleenw @darleenw

    It is funny. Lighten up everyone. It is not making fun at Christianity or Jesus – read it again without your cynicism turned on :)

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