Words that ought to be in the dictionary, ’08 edition

joe (usu. foll. by “the plumber”) noun the sound of one’s 15 minutes of fame elapsing.

jong-il verb the sudden waning of a once ominous threat: That forecast for 50 cm of snow has been jong-iled to scattered flurries.

layton noun 1. A special Man of the Year award given by the Kitchen Table Manufacturers Association. 2. A patch of facial hair above the lip in which grows delusions of grandeur.

lehman verb to disappear abruptly: Dave was sitting right here but then the waiter brought the bill and he lehmaned.

marley (usu. foll. by “and me”) noun the experience of seeing a film trailer and wanting not only to avoid the movie but also inflict harm on those responsible for making it.

may (usu. prec. by “elizabeth”) verb to be taken seriously, unexpectedly: I dropped a note in the suggestion box and now I’ve been mayed to give a presentation to the board!

mccain verb 1. to behave in a manner that betrays a sense of increasing desperation: Her acting career stalled, the buxom starlet mccained by contacting Hugh Hefner.

obama verb 1. to achieve victory despite at first appearing to have no shot at winning: I couldn’t believe it when Marisa Tomei obamaed that Oscar. 2. to display grace by hiring a former rival, even though the husband of that former rival is probably hitting on your wife right now. noun 1. the uncomfortable feeling of being deeply indebted to Oprah.

palin noun 1. a doctrine of global diplomacy based on geographic proximity. 2. a huge gamble that fails to pan out: In retrospect, trusting that habitual drug user with my PIN and house key proved to be quite the palin. verb 1. to speak words generally accepted to be part of the English language, but to make no sense while doing so. 2. to prompt an entire country to shake its head in disbelief.

subprime noun 1. not prime, well below prime, not even close to prime, extremely not prime, completely and totally prime-free. 2. not our fault, bankers say.