Categories: Feschuk on the famous

Don’t worry – Stephen Harper knows how to take care of this deficit problem

Coming soon to a TV channel near you:
[Ominous music. Images of piles of…

by Scott Feschuk on Thursday, May 28, 2009 5:32am - 18 Comments

Coming soon to a TV channel near you:

[Ominous music. Images of piles of money.]

The federal deficit.

First it looked like it was going to be $34-billion.

Now it looks like it’s going to be $50-billion.

Why can’t it make up its mind?

Why is it flip-flopping like that?

[Abrupt silence. Dramatic pause.]

What is it hiding?

And where’s it been for the last 10 years?

[Music resumes. We see a photograph of the piles of money having martinis with Al Capone, Hitler and Dr. Doom.]

Do you know where the deficit likes to spend its time?

In China. With Chinese bankers who don’t even live in Canada.

[Artist's crude drawing of a little girl weeping over the lifeless body of her kitty-cat.]

Also, it looks like the deficit might possibly have just killed this girl’s cat maybe.

That’s just sick.

The federal deficit: It’s just in it for itself.

JennyC

Golden.
http://economics.about.com Mike Moffatt

“Also, it looks like the deficit might possibly have just killed this girl’s cat maybe.”

Why does your narrator sound like Dr. Zoidberg?

http://www.macleans.ca/feschuk Scott Feschuk

I was actually thinking more of the episode where fry has worms and leela says: “what if we go for a walk possibly, because it’s such a lovely day perhaps.”

http://economics.about.com Mike Moffatt

Which leads to more questions, such as which of the following is the Fry to the Narrator’s Leela: the girl, the Chinese bankers, the pile of cash, or the dead cat.

http://www.macleans.ca/feschuk Scott Feschuk

a better question might be: what are the greatest futurama episodes of all time? i’d say 1. globetrotters (“You’re THAT bubblegum tate?”), 2. 80s guy takes over as CEO and 3. the one with the cast of star trek (“I think i’ve done enough conventions to know how to spell Melllvar.”). single female lawyer is up there as well.

http://economics.about.com Mike Moffatt

1. 80s guy as CEO
2. Bender as Ultimate Robot Fighter “What if I told your we wouldn’t be fighting in the conventional sense?”
3. Nixon runs for President “go into people’s houses at night and wreck up the place!”
4. Bea Arthur as Femputer!
5. Zapp Brannigan in Midnight Cowboy
nd

Those are all good, but i’d take 1) the seymour episode and 2) the brother/four-leaf clover episode and 3) the amazon women. (do you have any idea what it’s like to be a fembot in a manbot manputer’s world).

the first two are not only hilarious (i’m 40% dolemite, baby), but tehre is actual pathos at the end, in both cases, that has on occasion made me cry (there, i admitted it finally)
nd

wait hold on, it’s a 12-leaf clover isn’t it. in any case. that yancy sure was lucky.

BobbyB

And to think that the Deficit had been out of the country for so long acting all un-Canadian. Our mantra should be Let’s define the deficit before it defines us! I hear that Harper has tapes of the out-of-country deficit that he wants to share with Canadians! I also hear that the deficit has a wide black stripe over its eyes so you can’t really tell who it is made up of (or is that what it is made up from?? I’m so confused.). Perhaps that wide black stripe should be over the deficits nose vs its eyes, afterall it is really a stinky mess!!!!
Scott M.

I just don’t trust this deficit.
http://www.macleans.ca/feschuk Scott Feschuk

MM – yes, i overlooked Bender as a wrestler – a memorable episode especially for one of his robot wrestling rivals, The Foreigner: “I’m not from here. I have my own customs. Look at my craaaaaazy passport!”

nd – i believe it was a seven-leaf clover. best animated breakdancing ever.

nd

fry, if i *ever* see you pull something like that again – this crew might just have itself some new parachute pants

nd

And Kif, as the most attractive male, will be snu snud by the most beautiful women of Amazonia. Then the large women. Then the petite women. Then the large women again.

Sam

There’s just something about this deficit…..

Methinks it’s the shifty eyes!!!
http://caiti-online.blogspot.com/ Transcanada

“Do you think it’s easy being a $50 billion +++ deficit?” the deficit says with a quizzical look and arms outstretched.

The deficit doesn’t look like a leader at all. He looks confused. He looks weak. He can’t communicate effectively.

The poor sad deficit will never get any respect.

Everyone in Canada hopes he is ‘just visiting’.
Lord Kitchener's Own

This post is so dated now! A $50 billion deficit!?!? I WISH the deficit was going to be $50 billion! Now that we know that it's more likely to be three times that, it's not quite as funny.
ButtBobSquarepants

Yup, the deficit isn't a real Canadian either. After all, it didn't vote conservative, has travelled south of the border for work, doesn't come from Alberta, hasn't got two and a half children plus a dog and definitively American car. Plus it's got a weight problem! That's decidedly un-Canadian!