Inkless Wells

Inkless Wells

Paul Wells on all the latest out of Ottawa—along with the occasional post about jazz. Follow Paul on Twitter: @InklessPW
He also offers his thoughtful perspective of Stephen Harper’s last 10 years in his recent eBook, The Harper Decade.

Baird's critics should…

by Paul Wells on Wednesday, June 10, 2009 7:02am - 80 Comments

Let’s be clear here. If I hear John Baird is being criticized somewhere, I usually rush to join in. It’s fun and healthy and almost always appropriate. But surely it was obvious from the context that he was not in fact wishing that all of Toronto would depart in a fornicatory manner? Surely it was, again, obvious from the context that he meant those Torontonians who had improperly filled out an application for infrastructure money should embrace themselves profoundly. Surely it was clear from the outset that Baird was not urging, say, the wait staff at Bistro 990, the CityPulse weather guy, the drivers for Beck Taxi, and the entire Humber College faculty hump off into the sunset. Basically Baird was mad at David Miller, and I believe he’s not the first.

Somehow it seems entirely appropriate that Baird, who is uniquely gifted in the arts of disingenuousness, would offer up a prompt apology for something he didn’t really say. The whole thing is trivial. But surely there are enough real outrages out there that we don’t need to add some false outrage on top of them?

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  • http://intensedebate.com/people/ScottFeschuk ScottFeschuk

    i don't know, paul – that citypulse weather guy has it coming.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Crit_Reasoning Crit_Reasoning

      Biker 1: "Hey Bob, doesn't your mother live in T.O.?"
      Biker 2: "Yeah, she does. Why?"
      Biker 1: "It sez right here in the Star: John Baird just told your mother to F___ Off!"

    • http://www.intensedebate.com/people/Crit_Reasoning Crit_Reasoning

      Biker 1: "Hey Bob, doesn't your mother live in T.O.?"
      Biker 2: "Yeah, she does. Why?"
      Biker 1: "It sez right here in the Star: John Baird told your mother to F___ Off!"

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/JustinWordswrth JustinWordswrth

    Getting flipped the Baird

    Unfortunately, Toronto has already fucked off.

    These improperly filled-out forms is just the most recent example of incompetence perpetrated by the City of Toronto's insane bureaucracy. But who needs federal money? That's why god created property taxes.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/TJCook TJCook

      See Larry O'Brien below.

      Your snark is misplaced.

  • Riley Hennessey

    Does it bother anyone else that the country is running a 50 billion dollar deficit, we just bailed out an auto-sector to the tune of 1.3 milion dollars per job, the United States is imposing strict protectionist stances on meat imports, municipal contracts, shipping activities and tightening the screws at the border, BUT the biggest story on the hill is that Minister Raitt dissed her colleauge off the cuff in a private conversation?

    The rest of the country is worried about real things that involve real people, is it too much to ask that our political and pundit classes wake up?*

    *Paul Wells is excluded from that criticism because he routinely and consistenly raises issues found nowhere else in the journalism sphere.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/OntarioTown OntarioTown

      There are times when one has to lighten up to save themselves from insanity. A little fun now and then makes you forget your problems, which is one of the many reasons I hate attack ads when the country isn't in an election – who wants to hear about politics when they are watching sports or a movie to escape the daily drugde?

    • YTZ

      It bothers me – I was starting to think I was the only one. Let's form a support group.

  • Larry O'Brien

    If my reading is correct, it was not that Toronto's application was improperly filled out (wrong font, too many pages etc) it was that the request was outside of scope of the call for proposals. (The jobs created by the investment would have been in Thunderbay, a community still not considered a Toronto suburb, while the conservatives wanted local job creation )

    However, if one considers the expressed intent of the legislation, i.e. to stimulate the Canadian economy then Toronto's bid was perhaps the most effective in the entire application pool. Not only would almost all of the original investment gone into manufacturing jobs, in an industry with growth potential (post recession), it also would have the long term effect of making transportation cleaner and more effective in our biggest city.

    If one was cynical, you might think the requirement for the job creation being local was political i.e. a conservative minister would show up and be cheered by the masses. Given the flexibility that the conservatives have shown for spending the $3bil. slush fund a little flexibility here might have been useful.

    That said, yes, Baird has proven to be very effective at killing bad press quickly on several occasions, and Mayor Miller has proven he can screw up even his best ideas by getting both the province and the feds pissed off at him simultaneously.

  • http://mnfu.wordpress.com Dan

    If Baird wanted to say f### David Miller, I'm sure he could have pronounced such words in the order I have described. Rather, I think there's this ongoing resentment on the part of many, many federal Conservatives for the city of Toronto. This is a party after all that dismissed an otherwise fine Toronto candidate because he talked about how the Conservatives might handle Toronto-related issues instead of whatever talking points the PMO wanted him to repeat. I don't think you'd see that in Calgary.

  • Mike T.

    How about "The proposal isn't quite within the four corners of what we were hoping to spend money on, but we're willing to work with Canada's largest city and financial engine to stave off the worst of the economic downturn."? Instead of being true to form and bellowing like a maniac every time something doesn't go exactly as he wants?

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/LeenieJ LeenieJ

      exactly; Baird and co didn't get what they wanted; they are mindless dummies (ala ventriloquism) channeling Fake-Con speak so why can't everybody else trip like they do?

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/jolyon jolyon

      "How about "The proposal isn't quite within the four corners of what we were hoping to spend money on, but we're willing to work with Canada's largest city and financial engine to stave off the worst of the economic downturn."

      Ya, bureaucracies are famous for their reasonableness and not caring if you have filled out the correct forms or provided relevant info.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/OntarioTown OntarioTown

    My reaction to Baird's comment of FU – same to you and I hope it's soon

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/SeanStok SeanStok

    "…it seems entirely appropriate that Baird, who is uniquely gifted in the arts of disingenuousness…"

    See! Even in defending him, it's hard to resist. :)

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Sir_Francis Sir_Francis

    Instead of being true to form and bellowing like a maniac every time something doesn't go exactly as he wants?

    Yeah, but that's how ministers are trained at the CPC Behaviour Modification Academy. Every time they bellow at an event occurring outside the party's absurdly narrow ideological framework, they get a cookie.

    As you can see, Baird graduated top of his class.

    • Orson Bean

      "absurdly narrow ideological framework"

      Umm, wtf? What absurdly narrow ideological framework would that be? Ask a true fiscal conservative (even a reasonable facsimile like, say, Andrew Coyne) what he/she thinks of this government's ideological purity. Yeesh, this government has been throwing money at practically every rent-seeker that comes along with a tin cup. And as for social conservatism, last time I checked, this govt ran on a specific platform plank (that practically nobody noticed, especially Liberals and Dippers) NOT to bring in any new abortion law. They still haven't even mentioned doing a thing about s.13 of the Human Rights Act, which even many moderate conservatives (let's roll out Coyne again) think is a sick joke in its current incarnation. And we're ending the Afghan mission. And so on. In light of the foregoing, I'd be fascinated to hear your description of this absurdly narrow ideological framework.

  • D-R

    Then he should have just said frak David Miller. I do all the time. It's fun!

    This is part of ongoing Toronto bashing common to all Conservatives, especially in Ontario. It's a major factor in provincial leadership contests – watching John Tory akwardly pander to it when won the leadership was embarassing.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/SeanStok SeanStok

    Or, he was using "Toronto" as a shorthand for the proposal, and the particular people behind it. Sort of like someone saying "Calgary sucks" in the context of talking about hockey. It's understood that the team is being referred to, not the entire population. Context is everything, and one doesn't need to be charitable – in this case – to see that Baird's use of "Toronto" had a particular connotation, not an all-encompassing one.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/SeanStok SeanStok

      And for the record, I don't follow hockey closely enough these days to know if Calgary does indeed suck. It was just an example. Is Lanny McDonald still playing for them?

  • Stephen

    Miller is just fulfulling his perceived job description as beggar in chief. No matter what the project or program, Millers Toronto just just get enough money from some other level of government.

    That Miller's crew intentionally submit a non standard application, when they could have been using the resources for projects that qualify is the sad part. So who is playing politics and who is "rooting" (in the Australian sense) Toronto?

    Its not like Miller hasnt been told numerous times over the last few months that this particular application wont fly and falls outside the program.

  • Terren

    But of course he was! Conservatives despise Toronto and its urban vibe, cosmopolitan attitude and all of that. The only people they like there are the few rich Conservative Bay street types who donate to their campaign. It's as simple as that. The rest of Toronto can go fff themselves, for all John Baird cares.

  • M.A.N

    Just another in the long line of unimaginative curses aimed at my fair city. We shrug, we say "Okey dokey, you have a great day, ok?"

    Because although we may live in Toronto, at least we don't have to deal with being John Baird.

  • cribqueen

    The thing is… it was one of the few times he actually showed his true nature in public. Canadians that don't watch question period really don't know what he's like.

    I have no sympathy for him, the little bit of outrage thrown his way isn't even close to what he has earned.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Sir_Francis Sir_Francis

    Just another in the long line of unimaginative curses aimed at my fair city. We shrug…

    Yeah, there's just something about the fact that the GTA produces about 1/4 of Canada's GDP that makes many Canadians, particularly Westerners, hate the place. Envy?

    • matt

      1. What does "western GTA GDP envy" have to do with John F!@king Baird?
      2. Um, no.

      • http://intensedebate.com/people/Sir_Francis Sir_Francis

        Um, your answer doesn't match your question, genius. But thanks for playing.

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Crit_Reasoning Crit_Reasoning

      Could be envy. Could also be the rational perspective afforded by living a great distance from Toronto. ;-)

      • http://intensedebate.com/people/Sir_Francis Sir_Francis

        Heh. Following your logic, the greater the distance, the sharper the "rational perspective". The rapier-like acuity of the Tibetan take on Toronto must be totally awesome! ;)

        • http://intensedebate.com/people/Crit_Reasoning Crit_Reasoning

          Heh. I wasn't suggesting a linear correlation between rational perspectives on Toronto and distance from Toronto. I was merely suggesting that Canadians outside of the 416 region might have have a less blinkered appraisal of the largest Canadian city.

          • Orson Bean

            I don't think Toronto's, or Greater Toronto's, GDP stats have anything to do with why so many people hate Toronto. I would attribute said loathing to other factors, such as horrid climate; horrid hockey team; pathological narcissism; laughable eye-rolling obsession with being a "world-class city"; the fact that 5 minutes don't go by without some Torontonian using that pathetic term "world-class city" (when you're not); the fact that GTA voters have elected both Jack Layton and Tom Wappel to Parliament; and so on . . .

          • http://intensedebate.com/people/Sir_Francis Sir_Francis

            The only Torontonian who ever used the phrase "world-class city" was Toronto's former whacko mayor.

          • Mulletaur

            Yeah, for once I agree with Frijol here. 'World-class city' my fat arse. There is nothing about Toronto which is world class, zero. Miller has been in since 2003 and has done nothing to make this city world class, although he has managed to spend a lot of our money on who knows what. He has a lot to answer for. Perhaps Baird was right …

          • http://intensedebate.com/people/Sir_Francis Sir_Francis

            My friend, the best way not to be world-class is to try too hard to be world-class.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/LeenieJ LeenieJ

    as one of Baird's colleagues has already stated–and the impact of said statement which is already being felt by 1000s–Ontario is the last place to invest in Confederation.

    • sbt

      Not anymore. The Ontario government harmonized the PST and cut corporate taxes in the 2009 budget which was exactly what Flaherty wanted them to do and exactly what they were resisting at the time of that rather unfortunate statement.

      • http://intensedebate.com/people/LeenieJ LeenieJ

        and how does that recover the jobs lost from lobbying against Ontario?

      • Mulletaur

        You forgot about the accompanying corporate and personal tax cuts.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/LeenieJ LeenieJ

    remember Mr. FlipFlops at Bali? didn't even show up; slacked off on the beach apparently after making a call to the cops here in this country (on behalf of O-Brien perhaps?)

    he failed the lie detector test too; so maybe there is still some good in him perhaps. those of his ilk who pass with flying colours get the "cold blooded" degree in the CPC Behaviour Mod Academy.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/LeenieJ LeenieJ

    But of course he was! Conservatives despise Toronto and its urban vibe, cosmopolitan attitude and all of that.
    i guess that shows who's not voting for the Fake-Cons.

  • Mulletaur

    Why do I get that sinking feeling that Wells is laughing at our earnest partisanship here while using this post as an excuse to write fornicatory euphamisms ? Hmmm.

  • Lord Kitchener's Own

    So,Baird wasn't telling the people of Toronto to "F Off" he was just telling our elected representatives to "F Off". Oh, well, that's completely appropriate behaviour for a federal Cabinet Minister then.

    I mean, it's not like Miller and City Hall represent 2.5 million Canadians or anything.

    I think Baird's just jealous that the 25,109 people that voted for him in his last election are slightly outnumbered by the 332,969 people who voted for David Miller last time out. Maybe if Baird were capable of garnering the support of over 56% of the voters in his district he wouldn't be in such a snit.

    On the good side, at least now we know that the Feds consider the Toronto proposal out-of-order. Until Baird told Miller et al to "F Off" no one from the federal government had bothered to tell the Mayor or City Hall that they believed the Toronto proposal didn't fulfil the necessary criteria of the call for proposals (and you'd think someone would have mentioned that to the city before now, given that Toronto is the ONLY municipality to have their proposals thus summarily rejected). Baird can complain all he likes that the city's been bugging the feds for "dragging their feet". If you don't bother telling the city that you're not considering their proposal seriously, because you think it violates some requirement of the funding scheme, then why WOULDN'T they keep asking when you're going to make a decision?!?! Or does Baird also think that municipal politicians are psychic?

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Crit_Reasoning Crit_Reasoning

      I mean, it's not like Miller and City Hall represent 2.5 million Canadians or anything.

      Using this logic, every time someone curses at Harper they are cursing at 33 million Canadians.

      Maybe if Baird were capable of garnering the support of over 56% of the voters in his district he wouldn't be in such a snit.

      I've seem several variations of this "just jealous" argument, and it's cute. Childish, sort of like something a ten year-old would say, but it's still cute ;-).

    • http://www.intensedebate.com/people/Crit_Reasoning Crit_Reasoning

      I mean, it's not like Miller and City Hall represent 2.5 million Canadians or anything.

      Using this logic, every time someone curses at Harper they are cursing at 33 million Canadians.

      Maybe if Baird were capable of garnering the support of over 56% of the voters in his district he wouldn't be in such a snit.

      I've seen several variations of this "just jealous" argument, and it's cute. Childish, sort of like something a ten year-old would say, but it's still cute ;-).

      • Lord Kitchener's Own

        Well, except that Baird didn't curse Miller, he cursed Toronto. I realize the context in which he did so, but in a literal sense, he didn't say "Miller should F off" he said "They should F Off" and the "they" is the City of Toronto (if not it's inhabitants).

        If Harper presents a proposal for funding to the UN, and the UN official in charge of vetting the proposals said "Canada's the only country who messed up the proposal process, and now they're bitching at us about not hearing anything about funding. They should F off." my logic would be that the UN official had just told the government of Canada to F off, and by extension all of us. So, yes, using my logic if someone cursed at Harper in his role as PM of this country, it WOULD be like they were cursing at 33 million Canadians, or at the very least at our collective elected representatives.

        As for the childishness of my jealousy comment, fair enough. I don't think in the context of this story though, it's really ME who's being childish.

  • Sean E

    You would think Toronto would have developed a thicker skin by now. Has it really not noticed how all the other cities whisper and joke about it at the lockers between classes? That conversations grind to a halt when Toronto walks into the room?

    C'mon Toronto, suck it up! People would like you more if you just quit taking yourself so seriously.

  • Stephen

    I still question rejecting a proposal that would spend the money in Canada – Ontario, even – for a project that's about as infrastructure-oriented as it's going to get (streetcars). Would a proposal to spend a lot more money to pay off Bombardier to relocate their plant from Thunder Bay to build the streetcars in Toronto be more feasible under the system since it would deliver direct economic benefit to the municipality? Last I looked, a job is a job.

    The funny thing is not that the Con's chances are hurt in Toronto by this – because they're not, since you can't go further down than "no chance," but that I imagine the good people of Thunder Bay will also be paying attention.

  • Claude

    Paul — you wrote a great post in late '08 that basically told the gov't to "grow the hell up" and start dealing with real issues. I agreed then — and I agree now, when you point out how trivial this whole 'controversy' is…

    • http://intensedebate.com/people/Jack_Mitchell Jack_Mitchell

      . . . which is why Ministers of the Crown should not tell people to f*** off, right? The thing is, they can't tell people to f*** off and then whine that nobody's focusing on the issues, any more than than they can give speeches naked and complain that nobody listened.

      • Mulletaur

        Very bad mental imagery, Jack.

        • http://intensedebate.com/people/Jack_Mitchell Jack_Mitchell

          I merely foretell.

      • Claude

        Small but critical point Jack: he didn't tell David Miller (or anybody to f*** off.).. he made a comment to his aides that was was overheard by others.

        • http://intensedebate.com/people/Jack_Mitchell Jack_Mitchell

          Are you serious? Sorry, I hadn't heard that part. Well, in that case this is the most frivolous story of the year, hands down.

          • http://intensedebate.com/people/madeyoulook madeyoulook

            Well, in that case this is the most frivolous story of the year, hands down.

            Wow. In the face of sooo much frivoous competition served up to us regularly by our media, and given the fact that it is but June of this year, you're already hands-downing?

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/OntarioTown OntarioTown

    I'd love to see a fly go up Baird's nose when those nostrils are flared.

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