Two years ago, concert pianist Wonny Song attended a reception in Paris. The host’s 13-year-old daughter greeted guests at the door and made proper introductions. “She could speak to ambassadors, artists, business people—everyone. It really made an impression,” recalls Song, vice-director of the Lambda School of Music and Fine Arts in Montreal.
Inspired by this encounter, Song is starting a new summer program for girls. The goal of Make-over Camp is to instill poise, grace and confidence in girls between the ages of 10 and 14. For two weeks, they will learn to improve their posture, voice, table manners, conversation skills, wardrobe choices, makeup application, hostessing skills and music appreciation. “We see a lot of young ladies who can benefit from a makeover program,” said Angela Chan, director of Lambda and co-creator of the camp. “They need to develop their presence.” Marc McCreavy, an industrial designer and interior decorator, will teach the girls how to host events and decorate a table. “It’s important to learn about appropriate topics of conversation and appropriate attire,” he said.
“This reminds me of my days at French finishing school before heading off to Cambridge,” laughed Alison Silcoff, the leading force behind Montreal’s Daffodil Ball. “They taught me how to enter a room while closing an umbrella. We spent 90 minutes a day on deportment. Back then, a woman was, foremost, her husband’s wife. She was expected to host dinner parties for his business associates. But today, people realize that substance is more important than form. It’s more important to work on your career.”
From a feminist perspective, the optics are dreadful on something called Make-over Camp. “It’s a deficit name,” explained Kim Gordon, head of school at the private girls’ school Bishop Strachan in Toronto. “When our school opened [in 1867], we taught the daughters of Anglican clergy to become wives. We taught all the same things as the camp, like etiquette, grace and confidence. It’s still needed, but in the context of being successful. It’s infused in our curriculum, holistically, through general presentation skills. We see these skills as power tools for girls.”
“I’m sorry, but I cannot call a charm school feminist,” said Carrie Rentschler, assistant professor of communication studies at McGill. “Yes, young girls lack confidence, as we know from studies and books about the Ophelia complex, but the way to solve it isn’t to teach them how to be good hostesses!”
Yet some parents are desperate to help their daughters act in a more dignified manner. “Parents have asked us for this kind of class,” said Holly Potter, of Miss Edgar’s and Miss Cramp’s all-girls school in Montreal. “And our alumni are telling us to teach students table manners for business luncheons and events. We’re looking into starting an after-school program, but it will not involve walking with a book on their heads.” Sam Blyth, director of the co-ed Blyth Academy in Thornhill, Ont., shudders at the thought of a stand-alone class for poise and presence: “There are all kinds of things, outdoor things, kids that age could be doing in the summer. Let them participate, don’t just modulate their behaviour.”
The concept of makeover camp also polarizes parents. While full-time mom Heather Monaco eagerly enrolled her daughter because she’s “looking to raise a little lady,” some parents aren’t impressed. “It reinforces old, gendered expectations about ladylike behaviour,” says Tina Verma, a Toronto mother and TV producer. “Reverting to that 1950s model of repressed housewives is a way of responding to the crisis of the average household—fractured by divorce and busy schedules.”
Teaching niceties to girls alone makes sociologist Marc Lafrance irate. “It might as well be called Wife Camp! Is Betty Draper happy on Mad Men? No! She’s miserable! Things like makeover camp send the message that a girl’s value lies in being entertaining, ornamental, totally innocuous, accommodating and polite,” said the assistant professor of sociology at Concordia University. “I’m also concerned because it targets girls. Where are the boys?”
Lambda conducted a survey among its students to gauge interest in the camp. “There was zero per cent interest from the boys,” said Song. “Look, this is not a boot camp to reinforce the notion that girls should stay home. It’s not sexist. We would love to include boys, but what can we do?”
Political correctness makes the marketing tricky for anything that segregates the sexes. “When I went to the Parsons Mead finishing school for girls in England in the late 1970s, the school was already trying to hide the fact it was a finishing school,” recalled Carolina Gallo La Flèche, the corporate social engagement director at Ogilvy Canada and key organizer behind many of the museum galas in Montreal. “They called it empowering. The same thing happens today. Society has always been fearful of femininity and tries to control it.”
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I am 13 and i think this is an awsome idea. I would go if i could!!! i mean a camp for learning all the stuff that i will need as i get older is totally awsome! even tho mom would never let me go, i wish tht i could.
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i say let the kids be kids and we dont need nonething like this
Are you kidding! Have you watched children around in the last two decades! C'mon they are unruly, disrespectful, and basically incorrible. I have an eight yr old boy and would love for him to have a bright future. He is allowed to be a kid but learning to conduct himself will give him the edge he will need to be successful in his professional and private life! Grow up!
Rather than argue the idea of gender, why not consider that the attendees requiring some education about acceptable behaviour towards others be considered as "PEOPLE" not ""boys, girls, men, and women"?
Regardless of age or gender, PEOPLE should be valued for their integrity, their intelligence, their empathy, their skills, their desire to serve others, and host of other noble and genderless traits. To have any PERSON focus his/her primary attention on the way he/she looks, how other people will perceive him/her, the line of his/her clothes is to proclaim loudly: "you do not require substance, only the appearance of beauty".
There are millions of PEOPLE who do not fit the classical or current parameters of "beautiful, refined, and polished" but who are nonetheless worthy, noble PEOPLE whom any of us would be (and are) honoured to have in our lives. We value them not because their ties or their teeth are straight, but because they enrich our lives. To promote a school, gender biased or not, which focuses purely on appearances demeans all PEOPLE, and by definition promotes appearance over substance. We should be demanding excellence from ourselves, and our children.
Bear in mind the concept of "opportunity cost". Every minute a PERSON spends in vanity is NOT being spent on enriching his/her life, expanding his/her mind, or otherwise serving others. This isn't about gender. Its about substance.
[...] founders of “Make-over Camp” <http://www2.macleans.ca/2009/06/16/it%E2%80%99s-%E2%80%98wife-camp%E2%80%99-for-10-year-olds/>… in Montreal, presented on the Maclean’s magazine Web site, claim that young girls need these [...]
I went to finishing school in the late seventies in Europe. Back then, you were not to talk about it but, years later, I was glad that I knew how to use the right fork and make proper chitchat when I found myself sitting, without a husband I might add, at a diplomat's table. If Mr. Lafrance thinks this is like going back to wife school then he doesn't know what it means to be an empowered woman.
Further, women who are confident and can pretty much make their way in any circle have more rewarding careers and earn more. Being able to evolve with the great of this world does not mean you won't sit by a fire with a guitar in you hands. People are multi-dimentional and thinking that such a camp is wrong is displaying a very narrow view of the world.
[...] just read an article online about a new camp in Montreal for 10-14 year old girls. This camp isn’t teaching girls how to [...]
[...] for 10-year-olds.” Say what? I quickly flipped through the thin, glossy pages until I finally hit Joanne Latimer’s story. The first page shows a photo from a scene of the TV hit show, Mad Men, which portrays the hellhole [...]
I think that there should be proper behavior education for everyone Boys and girls , Men and Women. The last 2 generations have been puked up not raised properly I admit myself that I do not have proper manners or grace of any kind! I wouldn't mind going to a school to learn this , I would have better confidance knowing that I speak properly in an conversation instead of always being reminded and corrected by my friends and aquaitancesit's so embassing. It should be manditorly taught co-ed and also respect for all should be taught. Also I fing that it is very hard getting a job, Employeers think that you undereducated and stupid just from your speech!
oh by the way I'm 33 yrs old
I love this idea. Today's younger generation are forever quoting scenes from The Family Guy and the series of JackAss movies at a tremendous rate and then don't understand why they are passed up for promotions and opportunities in their career. They seem to go for shock value rather than intelligence in their conversations. Secondly, this isn't a sexist idea at all, since both genders could use the help.
Perhaps the etiquette training starts with all of us parents. Just what are you as a parent willing to tolerate from your children, your friends and perhaps your family when it comes to language and behavior in your home.