Categories: Feschuk on the famous

Stephen Harper, Super Genius

Scott Feschuk on the strategic brilliance of our PM

by Scott Feschuk on Thursday, June 18, 2009 7:03am - 67 Comments

Stephen Harper, Super Genius There are moments when we have no choice but to acknowledge the strategic brilliance of Stephen Harper.

I refer not to the Prime Minister’s negotiations with Michael Ignatieff, who mistakes process for progress the way Al Pacino mistakes SHOUTING for acting, but rather to this line from today’s Toronto Star story: … Harper said his nominees will include Human Resources and Skills Development Minister Diane Finley, one of her senior officials and an MP still to be selected.

Genius. Genius.

Harper is taking his time to pick the MP who will fill that one last spot. That last spot on a six-member bipartisan panel to debate Employment Insurance reform. Debate it allllllllllll summer long. Debate it all summer long with Marlene Jennings. Painstaking research, consultation and deliberation for the whollllllllllle summer. Summer – the good season, the only one that’s pretty much guaranteed not to be winter, the one with fishing poles and beers and outsideness.

Is there a more effective way of ensuring, for a day or two at least, that no member of your caucus will ask you for anything, approach you in any way, make eye contact with you, be caught dead within your field of vision, allow the synapses of their brain to work in co-operation to form even a fleeting mental image of you, or dare get out from under the bed? An MP comes within 20 feet and all Harper needs to do is say: “Oh, you’re here about serving on the EI panel…?”

At last, some peace and quiet. Enough time to pound out another seven or eight words in that hockey book. Thanks, Michael.

Tags: Stephen Harper

More by Scott Feschuk

Catherine

Harper is a legend in his own mind. And the mind of Feschuk.
http://intensedebate.com/people/OntarioTown OntarioTown

I fail to see the genius – but I'm not genius Feschuk who makes a living being sarcastic.

I know you don't like Jen – but I think she also produces films (money to make films). …..
http://intensedebate.com/people/Inkless Inkless

This is why it is always rewarding to write funny things. Because it reliably smokes out the people who are utterly baffled by funny things.

Catherine

Michael Richards has 'rehabilitated' his poor taste.
Hope, yet, for Feschuk.

http://intensedebate.com/people/Ed_Sweeney Ed_Sweeney

…and she proves, once again, the Inkless point

http://intensedebate.com/people/tdotlib tdotlib

Hear hear!

Nice piece Scott – can always count on you for a chuckle.
http://intensedebate.com/people/Jack_Mitchell Jack Mitchell

I fail to see what is so funny about people who are utterly baffled by funny things.
Pax vobiscum

"A committee is a group of the unwilling chosen from the unfit to do the unnecessary." Your choice, laugh or cry. I'm with Inkless; it's funny, but only if you're pathologically baised.

Jen's husband

You are a cruel man Mr. Feschuk. A very funny cruel man!
Feschuk's Agent

Yes and you should continue to aspire to someday write funny things Inkie.
Darrell

I know the whole 'blue ribbon' thing is basically a window dressing, and an endless source of jokes, but doesn't the designation actually mean that the panel is composed of independent experts?

Would it be reasonable to assume that when Harper and Iggy agreed to a 'Blue Ribbon' panel, at least someone in the room thought it would not include the Minister and a top official from the department?

I know, I know…not funny.

Brad

It may be of the urban myth sort, but I once heard that a blue ribbon was sported by members of the english elite in India as a sign that they were tea-totalers in a time when their ex-pat compatriots were perhaps imbibing a bit too much. hence a blue ribbon panel could be expected to bring a sober perspective to the study of a thorny problem.

I could look this up, but in all likelihood will be disabused of my cherished, made-up etymology for the term and I would hate to learn anything that contradicted something I like to believe.

http://intensedebate.com/people/bazoo bazoo

That clarifies things a bit for me. I was thinking this was a Panel Cordon Bleu, with the ham and cheese.

http://intensedebate.com/people/danby danby

Blue Ribbon? isn't that a bologna? This guy is lysterical!

Stephen

Well there are alternative explainations. But the last line in this one I found quite funny.

"In some fair competitions in the U.S., particularly 4-H and FFA livestock and horticultural events, blue ribbons may be awarded to any project or exhibit which meets or exceeds all of a competition's judging criteria. In Canada blue ribbons are awarded to second place, with red ribbons awarded to first."
ron

I think you have it the other way round, Wells. It strikes me as utterly baffling that grown men would want to seem cutting and snarky and "cool" almost all of the time.Go through the archive! Wells and Feschuk are a consistently painful read. I'm not entirely humorless, really, but the tone of a majority of Macleans blogs has become embarrassingly infantalizing. Is this an editorial choice? As professionals, doesn't it concern you?

Mike T.

This mag publishes mark Steyn, and you harp on those two? Really?

http://intensedebate.com/people/SeanStok SeanStok

Does this mean he'll be chasing MPs through the corridors, armed with an array of Acme products in an attempt to catch one?

Also: Talking Wile E., or silent Wile E? Discuss.

BCer in Mtl

Talking Wile E. That's the one who had business cards stating his profession as "genius"

Aging Hipster

A panel comprised only of politicians, to discuss possible changes to EI? What's wrong with this picture? Why don't they include experts on this matter – which are definitely NOT politicians, and business and industry leaders? I do really applaud the fact that they have excluded the NDP and the BQ – that was a perfect move. If they let an NDP doofus on the panel, they would lprobably be pushing for qualifiying for EI at 100% of earnings after working one week; and allowing unions to collect dues from the EI cheques.

Riley Hennessey

I assume they filled it with MP's so that it would not accomplish anything. This is nothing like the Afghan panel which consisted of actual thinkers with actual experience who could report back to parliament so that MP's could make a decision.

This panel has MP's who report back to their parties. Designed for failure I think.

http://intensedebate.com/people/Sir_Francis Sir_Francis

This is nothing like the Afghan panel which consisted of actual thinkers with actual experience who could report back to parliament…

…and tell Stephen Harper exactly what he wanted to hear…

http://intensedebate.com/people/SeanStok SeanStok

Oh for Chrissake, could we reserve this little corner of the universe for mockery, buffoonery and yucks?! Head on over to Steyn's corner for a yelling match about the collapse of civilization, or pretty much any other Maclean's blogger to assist in gutting the national sheep to pore over its entrails.

John Baird: Yosimite Sam or Foghorn Leghorn? Discuss.
http://www.intensedebate.com/people/SeanStok SeanStok

Oh for Chrissake, could we reserve this little corner of the universe for mockery, buffoonery and yucks?! Head on over to Steyn's corner for a yelling match about the collapse of civilization, or pretty much any other Maclean's blogger to assist in gutting the national sheep to pore over its entrails.

John Baird: Yosemite Sam or Foghorn Leghorn? Discuss.

http://intensedebate.com/people/ScottFeschuk ScottFeschuk

"Whass the big – I say now, whass the big idea comparin' me to a rooster? A rooster?! Boy, you got a mouth like a cannon, always shootin' it off. I mean now, I mean, what's the gag – I say, what's the gag, son? Joke, that is. You're as thick as a whale sandwich, you are." — John Baird

http://intensedebate.com/people/SeanStok SeanStok

David Miller: "I speak softly, but I carry a big stick!"
John Baird: "Oh yeah? Well I speak loouuud, and I carry a biiigger stick! And I use it too! Ya no good bush whackin' Terrantonian!!!!!!"

cwe

Come to think of it, I've never seen John Baird in the same room with either one of them. Do you think he could be…both?

http://intensedebate.com/people/SeanStok SeanStok

Then again, I found this picture of Tony Clement and John Baird, deep in policy discussion…

http://media.photobucket.com/image/foghorn%20legh…

BCer in Mtl

Neither.

Ralph Kramden. Complete with spittle flying out of his mouth.

Now Norton . . . Gary Goodyear?
http://intensedebate.com/people/danby danby

John Baird: philosopher…. diplomat…. intellectual….. visionary…… toady……

or…. George Costanza on steroids

The jerk store called – they're all out of (insert opposition MP here)

Riley Hennessey

Are you saying Marlene Jennings isn't blue-ribbon worthy??
http://intensedebate.com/people/Nich Nich

It's obvious that 'blue ribbon' is a deliberate pander to Canadian urban scenesters who force themselves to drink Pabst Blue Ribbon.
http://intensedebate.com/people/ScottFeschuk ScottFeschuk

In tony's defence, he makes a good case about the hole in baird's theory.

Wotcher?

But isn't the baseball bat one of Baird's arguments?

Wayne

How True Scott! – this gives new meaning to the cone of silense ala Get Smart .. I never thought about it that way .. ROFL .. I can see it now MP's parting like the red sea in front of Stevie and he walks down the aisle turning his baleful gaze on all who dare to look in his direction. You are most definitley onto something here – LMAO
Anon

It'll be Pierre Polievre or Dean del Mastro.

http://intensedebate.com/people/Tceh Tceh

Both Pierre and the used car salesman deserve this kind of punishment. Maybe they can make room for a twosome on the panel.

http://intensedebate.com/people/SirJohn_Eh SirJohn_Eh

Very funny and probably is the reality as well but, how could it not be Raitt sent to the panel. She surely is in the doghouse and might actually advance her career if shes smart enough to contribute to whatever (minor?) changes are needed to EI. I dont see any obvious other Ministry besides HR that should go. Not like theres really much she can do about the isotopes problem.

Mike T.

because the 'sexy problem' jokes would write themselves?

I'll start.

Harper needs to make sure a problem gets talked about but not solved? I'll get "Raitt" on it!

Stephen

I doubt he would serve, but he would be an inspired chocie for a number of reasons

"Claude E. Forget, O.C. (born 28 May 1936 in Montreal, Quebec) is a former Canadian politician.

Forget holds a master's degree in public finances from the London School of Economics as well as a bachelor's degree in economics. He was also admitted to the Barreau du Québec in 1959. He was a teacher in economics at the Université du Québec à Montréal for three years.

In 1973, he was elected to the National Assembly of Quebec from the riding of Saint-Laurent. A Liberal, he was the Minister of Social Affairs from 1973 to 1976 in the cabinet of Robert Bourassa. He was re-elected in 1976 and 1981. He resigned on November 17, 1981.

In 1984, he was appointment chairman of the Commission of Inquiry on Unemployment Insurance.

In 1991, he was made an Officer of the Order of Canada."

YTZ

He's an out of touch elitist.

Bonnie N

Genius?

No the "genius" in this romp through the corridors of brinkmanship is Ignatieff and a committee that will go no where. It will neither make any difference to the unemployed or provide any results.

Harper did have to use any brain power – Iggy folded like a cheap suit and will need to explain the lack of results to his own party come September.

Methinks you give too much credit to Harper without assessing the F Ignatieff earned for not wanting an election and just not stating that on Monday.

http://intensedebate.com/people/SeanStok SeanStok

(to the obvious tune…)

My Bonnie read only the heading
My Bonnie skipped all Feschuk's wit
My Bonnie should try to relax some
Then maybe the joke she won't miss

Bring back, bring back, brink back my Bonnie's tee hees!
Bring back, bring back, oh bring back my Bonnie's fine glee!

My Bonnie sure hates the Count Iggy
My Bonnie thinks he's a big wuss
My Bonnie thinks he is a failure
But surely he's worth a D+?

Bring back, bring back, brink back my Bonnie's tee hees!
Bring back, bring back, oh bring back my Bonnie's fine glee!

My Bonnie has had one long hard week
My Bonnie's like most of us here
My Bonnie should thus be forgiven
For thinking Feschuk was sincere

Bring back, bring back, brink back my Bonnie's tee hees!
Bring back, bring back, oh bring back my Bonnie's fine glee!

(sorry, couldn't resist!)
Wayne

I agree for the most part except the underating of harper on this one as his postioning for the vote next spring (won't be one in the fall no matter how much Iggy will want one) it will be the next budget! .. was truly brilliant and well played.

http://intensedebate.com/people/Crit_Reasoning Crit_Reasoning

I continue to be surprised by the number of Liberal commenters who are extremely bitter about what they consider to be Iggy's "capitulation". Put on a smiley face, guys. Summer's here – enjoy it! There will be plenty of time in the fall for Iggy to mess with Harper until he's done.

Wayne

Oh I don't know judging by what I saw this week Iggy be done messin and will be too busy gnawing on the bone that Harper threw him … allowing Harper to go to battle with the NDP which is now basically the official opposition!

felix_jones

I was hoping for a Prime Minister, instead we got a genius. I want an election for the sheer morbid curiosity of seeing if we can break the lowest turnout record. Bring on the corprotocracy, American style! All hail Stephen "Genius" Harper.
Change the channel

Peace in our time? This deal probably helps both men to some degree. However, all it really did is buy some time for all parties to figure out their battle plans, and whether or not (in the case of D'pers and Bloc Heads) to vote against the government in the Fall.

Given that Polievre is the Sycophant-in-Chief these days, look for him to score some brown nose points.
lrob

genius? wtf!
J B

Can any one tell me what Steve H has done that is Is so great before he enter politic… He never had a real job…

Wayne

How about amalgamating two poltical parties unifying them in a way they haven't been in a long time and revolutionizing the party so that it responds only to the grassroots membership and not just a gang of backroom old boy network at a midnight meeting and then having the strength of leadership to bringing them all the way to power and judging by the current situation likely to remain so for quite some time now.
Maureen

So how many politicians have any real jobs before they become politicians? Chretien – nomally a lawyer, but that only was what got him into politics; Trudeau – rich boy who did what?; Martin – came from a political family and inherited a business that he moved off-shore to avoid Canadian taxes; Mulroney – ditto Chretien; Iggy and Dion – academics whose positions are secured by NOT doing anything in the real world. First plus for Harper is that he is NOT a lawyer, second plus was that he didn't come from sitting on corporate boards (and it is highly unlikely that he will end up on those boards when he is done being PM because he doesn't have the old school connections).

J B

Wayne,that's my point he coult not make it in the real world and feed his family as well…. His a one man show….
J B

Maureen; Mulrony was president of Iron Ore Corporation and also practice law before he enter politic.Harper has a master in economic but never work in that field.he work a few years for Imperial oil in a low paying job. He was the head of the N.C.C which is a two bit lobby organisation..I rest my case….For your information 47% of the conservative m p's have high school or less.You could not get a job with this today

Maureen

FYI, I know lots of people with less than a high school education who work at very productive jobs and contribute to their communities. You are confusing degrees with employment – I also know lots of people with graduate degrees who are working at minimum wage jobs because they expect that someone should provide them with a better job. Besides all your comment shows is that Mulroney was employed in a leadership position – any other examples? And since Mulroney is taking a beating these days he might not be the best example. I'll give you one – how about The Obama – still trying to figure out what the heck a 'community organizer' is and what specifically Obama actually achieved (since you are all about achievement!). I know many community workers and none of them are paid huge amounts of money to do their job and many struggle to support their families and it doesn't appear that The Obama struggled to support his family (I forgot about the fake job is wife was given and which disappeared as soon as she left it) – so I'm thinking that Obama was less a community organizer and more of a political hack who made good connections within the most corrupt political system in the US – namely the Chicago political system.

Stu Lach

You must miss Bush an awful lot!?
http://intensedebate.com/people/FVerhoeven FVerhoeven

And then there's another way of looking at things; people can have too much education. The overal trend now is to be specialized in one thing or another, where being able to see the whole picture is much more important, much more helpful in finding real solutions in this crazy world. There is sooo much superficiality attached to degrees. Most of the high positioned are well connected; they seem to have earned a high degree in networking, that's for sure.
http://www.intensedebate.com/people/FVerhoeven FVerhoeven

And then there's another way of looking at things; people can have too much education. The overal trend now is to be specialized in one thing or another, whereas being able to see the whole picture is much more important, much more helpful in finding real solutions in this crazy world. There is sooo much superficiality attached to degrees. Most of the high positioned are well connected; they seem to have earned a high degree in networking, that's for sure.