1:50pm. Lionel Richie is probably vastly under-appreciated. If you can ignore the goofy music videos and his daughter, he’s a pretty phenomenal singer.
1:54pm. Berry Gordy talks about Jackson’s early years at Motown. Which is not at all awkward given how much Jackson linked his troubles to the destruction of his childhood.
2:03pm. Requisite video retrospective. They really can’t show that footage of him and Ronald Reagan together enough.
2:07pm. Jackson’s brothers are sitting in the front row, all wearing sunglasses. In a darkened arena.
2:08pm. Stevie Wonder performs Never Dreamed You’d Leave in Summer, which was on the soundtrack to Poetic Justice, which starred Janet Jackson and now it seems like it was written for this moment. With the right marketing, this could be to Michael Jackson what Candle in the Wind was to Princess Diana.
2:14pm. Kobe Bryant and Magic Johnson. Kobe talks about how we should appreciate entertainers for the joy they provide with their talents, no matter the failings or controversies in their personal lives. No, not really. Magic says watching Jackson made him a better point guard. Yes, really. Actually that sort of sounds plausible.
2:20pm. Oh, and all the Jackson brothers are wearing sparkly white gloves. Obviously.
2:21pm. Jennifer Hudson finished seventh on American Idol and that’s now basically the subtext to every one of her performances. “Seventh? Seventh? All right, America. Watch this.” For fun, go look up the people who beat her that season. She probably keeps a list of their names that she reviews each time before she goes on stage.
2:25pm. Al Sharpton. Second best voice so far, after Lionel Richie.
2:27pm. I would go to church more often if there was more yelling like this.
2:29pm. “He out-sang his cynics, he out-danced his doubters, he out-performed the precipice.”
2:32pm. That was phenomenal. Sharpton should run as the vice-presidential candidate on Queen Latifah’s ticket.
2:34pm. And of course John Mayer has to follow that.
2:36pm. Decent performance of Human Nature. Bit too much guitar face though. Anyway. Back to Sharpton. Didn’t quite catch what he said the first time, but the line that killed was apparently this: “To his 3 kids, there was nothing strange about your daddy, it was strange what he had to deal with.”
2:39pm. Brooke Shields is rather emotional recounting her relationship with Jackson. Makes the probably valid point that the two of them could understand each other because of their respective childhoods. Throw in Emmanuel Lewis and that night at the Grammys makes a bit more sense now.
2:43pm. “Yes, it may have seemed very odd to the outside, but we made it very fun and very real.” Fair enough.
2:47pm. Jermaine Jackson sings Charlie Chaplin’s Smile. If you’re looking for a valid comparison for Jackson’s life and career, the closest might be Chaplin. That might be the best precedent. That might be the only precedent.
2:52pm. Martin Luther King III recalls some words of his father. Whatever MLK Jr. dreamed he probably did not foresee anything like this.
2:58pm. Bernice King recalls Jackson comforting their mother, Coretta Scott King. “Rest in peace, our brother Michael.”
2:59pm. Congresswoman Sheila Jackson Lee speaks on behalf of the U.S. House of Representatives, proclaims Jackson’s innocence. Glad we’ve got that settled. Wonder who Stephen Harper sent as Parliament’s official designate.
3:02pm. The congresswoman recalls Jackson lobbying the ambassadors of various African nations. “He had a twinkle.”
3:03pm. Apparently Congress is going to debate a resolution that Jackson was “an American legend and musical icon and world humanitarian.” That should be both fun and productive.
3:10pm. Usher, wearing sunglasses, sings Gone Too Soon.
3:13pm. Smokey Robinson talks about how mind-boggling it was to hear a 10-year-old sing a convincing rendition of a love song—”He had a lot of know.” Indeed. Is it at all possible to listen to the young Michael Jackson now without feeling just a bit weird?
3:20pm. And now 12-year-old Shaheen Jafargholi, a finalist on Britain’s Got Talent, comes out to sing Who’s Lovin’ You. Because, really, the lesson of today is that more kids with freakish talent should be pushed into unreal prominence.
3:24pm. Kenny Ortega, Jackson’s tour director, introduces an ensemble performance of We Are The World. CNN cuts to footage of people singing, clapping, holding hands and swaying across the country. And then a bunch of children dressed in black and white come out to help sing Heal the World. This is exactly how the movie was supposed to end.
3:34pm. The family gathers on stage. Unless I’m mistaken, Joe Jackson doesn’t appear to be there.
3:40pm. Jackson’s daughter speaks. “I just want to say, ever since I was born, daddy has been the best father you could ever imagine. And I just want to say I love him.” She retreats then into Janet’s arms.
3:41pm. And that’s it. The band plays Man in the Mirror as the casket is wheeled away. Sad and heartbreaking and amazing and upsetting and altogether just about what you would have imagined this would be.
3:44pm. Some final words from Rev. Lucious Smith. “Now it’s up to us, we should all look at the man or woman in the mirror and change the way we treated each other.” Indeed.
3:49pm. Memorial ends on a prayer and CNN goes to Larry King for insight. Which is probably everyone’s cue to turn the television off and go listen to Off The Wall.
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