No wonder the Kennedys hated him

Writer Dominick Dunne always ensured that ‘inconvenient women’ weren’t forgotten

by Mark Steyn on Thursday, September 10, 2009 5:20pm - 35 Comments

No wonder the Kennedys hated himDominick Dunne died the day after Ted Kennedy, and so his passing went all but unnoticed, coming as it did just as the American media’s week-long orgasmic frenzy of Camelotian prostrations and ululations was getting into gear. Dunne would have accepted the black jest of bad timing, albeit with regret. The Kennedy family blames him for the present woes of their cousin, Michael Skakel, currently banged up in the big house for a long-ago murder of a 15-year-old girl who had the misfortune to live next door. “Dominick Dunne,” Robert F. Kennedy Jr. told New York magazine, “is a pathetic creature.”

“I don’t give a f–k about what that little s–t has to say,” Dunne responded. “That f–king asshole.”

It was different once. In 1950, he had attended the wedding of Robert F. Kennedy and Ethel Skakel. Later, he was friends with Bobby’s in-law, Peter Lawford. They were six beach houses apart in Hollywood, and in those days, Kennedy-wise, Peter Lawford’s beach house was a critical location: both J.F.K. and R.F.K. used it as the equivalent of a by-the-hour hot-sheet motel for liaisons with Marilyn. A Hollywood chum of mine says that “getting to Peter Lawford’s beach house” is insider lingo for a serious A-list consummation. If Dominick Dunne never got to Peter Lawford’s beach house in quite that sense, he was there for the parties, and he knew Miss Monroe well enough to call her “Marilyn” and for her to call him “Nick.” Earlier, he had been at school with Rushton Skakel, brother of Ethel Kennedy and father of the convicted murderer. Dunne’s whole life was like that: everybody who was anybody wandered in and out of it like characters in a brilliantly plotted Big Novel. A chance encounter with someone whose cousin he’d been at school with would provide a useful contact and a telling anecdote decades later during her ex-husband’s murder trial. During the first O.J. trial—the one that made Dunne’s reputation as a high-society crime chronicler—Phil Spector regularly took him out to dinner to pump him for the latest dish, which came in useful when Phil subsequently joined the ranks of homicidal celebrities.

And that’s how it went, for 83 years: after school with Rushton Skakel, Dunne got to Peter Lawford’s beach house in the Biblical sense with Anaïs Nin, who seduced him during a summer in Guatemala. And, even in his final painful weeks, when he toddled out of the doctor’s room at a specialist cancer clinic in Germany, whom should he bump into in reception but an equally ailing Farrah Fawcett.

“I have this ability to get people to talk to me,” says Basil Plant, the narrator of Dunne’s novel The Two Mrs. Grenvilles. “I listen beautifully. I laugh appreciatively. I never register shock or dismay at shocking or dismaying revelations, for that will invariably inhibit the teller of the tale.”

In 1991 the diminutive scribbler in the owlish glasses and the baggy suit was in Palm Beach covering the rape trial of Ted’s nephew, William Kennedy Smith. Had he not been there, he would never have heard the tantalizing tidbit that young William had been in the Skakel house in Connecticut on the night in 1975 when Martha Moxley was murdered. Had he not picked up that unfounded bit of gossip, his curiosity might not have been awakened and he might never have written a fictionalized account of the case, A Season In Purgatory, a roman à clef compressing three generations of Kennedy gossip into one book. Had his novel not reactivated interest in the murder, he might not have had leaked to him a copy of a private investigator’s report on Michael Skakel. Had he not been in court in Los Angeles in 1995 when O.J.’s dream team played the “race card” crudely but effectively against Mark Fuhrman, he might not have felt so sorry for the LAPD detective that he struck up a friendship and forwarded the Skakel investigator’s leaked report. Had Fuhrman not used the Skakel report to write a damning book on the Moxley case, the state of Connecticut might never have reopened it and put Michael Skakel on trial. It was a very slender thread that led to a rare Kennedy conviction. “It is a fact of my life that coincidences happen to me,” says the narrator in The Two Mrs. Grenvilles. For Dunne, the greatest coincidence was as stark as a gravestone: Martha Moxley was killed on the same date—Oct. 30—as his own daughter.

In Dunne’s 1993 novelization, on the night of the murder, at a society ball, the glamorous Kennedy figure cuts in on the girl with the insouciant pitch, “Do you mind dancing with a man with an erection?” The line recurs through the book as a kind of priapic refrain, and it’s tempting to dismiss it as an absurdly baroque conceit on the author’s part. But in 2002, when the real Michael Skakel eventually found himself facing a real jury in a real trial, it emerged that on the night of the murder of Martha Moxley he had been masturbating in a tree outside her bedroom window. How do we know? Because in 1997 Skakel sat down with a ghostwriter and a tape machine and chit-chatted merrily away about his arboreal exertions for what he hoped would be a lively chapter in a projected book called Dead Man Talking: A Kennedy Cousin Comes Clean. And evidently it seemed entirely natural to reminisce about the good old days when he was not yet so fat he couldn’t climb the Moxleys’ tree and masturbate up there. What, you’ve never masturbated up a tree? C’mon, it’s like that football-on-skis family tradition that caused Michael Kennedy’s rather more final encounter with a tree, or Uncle Teddy’s famous “waitress sandwich” with fellow trouserless senator Chris Dodd on the floor of a Washington restaurant: doesn’t everyone do this stuff? Michael Skakel figured he’d gotten away with it: he was a Kennedy, kinda. And Martha Moxley was his Mary Jo Kopechne, just another wossname nobody cared about. But Connecticut is not Massachusetts, and a Kennedy in-law does not enjoy quite as extensive a droit de seigneur.

Dunne was a stage manager on The Howdy Doody Show and a producer of C-list movies before a chance encounter with Vanity Fair’s Tina Brown led to his reinvention as a writer. The preoccupations of the last half of his adult life are summed up in the title of another book, An Inconvenient Woman, a thinly disguised fictionalization of Alfred Bloomingdale’s murdered mistress Vicki Morgan. In both his crime reporting and his novels, there’s usually a powerful man and an “inconvenient woman”—sure, she’s hot, she’s fun, she’s cute, but there comes a point when she’s an inconvenience. And then you lawyer up and make the inconvenience go away. That’s what Kennedys do, with both the passing fancies—the waitresses, the campaign cuties, the gal next door—and with their routinely “annulled” first marriages. That’s what Ted did with Joan, the wife he drove to alcoholism. That’s what he did with Mary Jo, swimming up from the depths of that Chappaquiddick pond and leaving her down there pressed up against a shrinking air pocket waiting for the rescue team he never called. Nice girl, but inconvenient. So he got back to the hotel, worked the phones, called in the family fixers, squared the local authorities, started the speechwriters working on the statement.

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  • colleen

    thank you Mr. Steyn for connecting the dots

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/spinalcracker spinalcracker

    May you RIP Mr. Dunne. Another great column by the Great Mark Steyn!!

  • elizabeth

    I had no idea Mr. Dunne had passed. I avoided the news when I heard Kennedy died. I always thought Dominick Dunne was an infinitely interesting man; someone I'd love to have known. Mark Steyn is terrific. Loved the quote about RFK Jr.; also "the symmetry of the simultaneous expiry, a man who disposed of inconvenient women, and a man who ensured they weren’t forgotten." Marvelous!!!

  • suquence

    terrific read. Certainly shows what money can get you out of.
    Rather like Hollywood, who trade beds, drugs and other sully behavior with indifference. Everyone, who has read certainly know
    of the total corruption of the Kennedys.

  • the aura of truth

    RIP, sir. And thank you for exposing that Kennedy lot for what they were, and ridding us of their sordid influence.

    • reg

      "Aura of truth"…what a hoot! You lot (including Suquence et al) wouldn't know 'Truth', let alone its 'aura', if it reared up and bit off your freakin noses! Dunne's comments re Lawford's place at Malibu: Tell me…what's his source? How reliable is his source? Could those insinuations possibly derive from someone with an agenda? Those comments re the supposed events that occured at Lawford's beach house are unproven and inappropriate. But, unfortunately, morons like you, just keep repeating those tales. To me, it's just more of the kind of mean-spirited commentary which Kennedy-haters are famous for dreaming up and perpetuating. Go ahead…what possible reliable source exists for such slanderous blurtings? Name me even one source that I can put even a modicum of faith in. Clearly, you monkeys will believe whatever excrement a right-wing moron like Steyne can churn up to blacken a family that has proven to be more civic-minded than most by a long shot! Indeed, a large percentage of the Kennedy clan are all about Public Service, with congressmen and civic leaders populating much of the 2nd Kennedy generation! Can any of you boobs make the same boast? And while I'm at it, here's some history for you: JFK, had he lived, was in the process of pulling out of Vietnam. That alone would have saved 50,000+ young American lives and many times more Vietnamese lives! You mindless boobs lose sight of the fact that JFK averted WW3 during the CIA's Bay of Pigs fiasco. Read the actual history re America's Cuban adventures! JFK also started something called the Peace Corps (look it up, dimbulbs). Read JFK's speeches and tell me the man was a louse – you'd have to be total jerk, or die-hard fascist to believe that. Also, one of JFK's sisters, Eunice, who died only a few weeks ahead of Teddy, was responsible for creating the Special Olympics! You lot are a foul, dark-hearted bunch of ignorant fools!

  • Jack Stack

    What a great article Dominick could have written on Teddy's passing and the obscene eulogizing that followed. I shall sincerely miss his articles with their observations, perception and wit.

  • fuzzy

    Dunne was unique and a highly entertaining read

  • tattoolady

    I've heard Dominick Dunne reporting on TV from time to time but never read any of his books. The name "Basil Plant" though made me laugh for five minutes. I'm going to order a bunch of his books tomorrow.

  • Brenda

    I loved Dominick Dunne both as a novel writer and a journalist. RIP, Mr. Dunne.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/SisyphusThis SisyphusThis

    Yawn…..

  • Mo23

    Want to read another good book about what is happening today with the economic collapse, try a book called A Distant Crossing. Can't remember the authors name, but he had it dead on.

  • Revnant Dream

    This reads like a Greek tragedy, its that moving.
    The human pathos are so thick in the lives of these people, the atmosphere is made almost tangibly alive.
    Dominick Dunne seems more a character, than he ever created in his novels.
    Wonderful article. Hated coming to the end of it.
    Just the lessons in human nature are worth the read.
    JMO

  • Rob H

    A great well written, incisive article. Oh wait, its Mark Steyn. Terrible article, Kennedy was a saint, stop printing this right wing fascist.

  • http://www.intensedebate.com/people/SisyphusThis SisyphusThis

    Yawn…..

    He spent a lot of time on Larry Wasisnames' show .. reminded me of Truman Capote …

    Yawn ….

    His brother , John Gregory Dunne , was the more interesting writer. Unless your buns are
    warmed by hating Kennedys, of course. I'd recommend Delano, on the California grape strike.

    Yawn ….

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/Gaunilon Gaunilon

    Another good obituary.

    If only Skakel had become a Democrat Senator and pursued feminist causes. Then he too might have been able to skate while people wrote paeans about how his victim would have supported her own death if she'd known what great good for women would come from it.

    • petey

      The entire story is told in a book by Zad Rust. It's: TEDDY BARE. It's for sale on Half.com. I lived next to Mary Jo's parents. The Kennedys moved them, right after the murder, to Northern Pennsylvania to keep reporters away. All the Kennedys are scumbag murderers. Only Skakel is just starting his life sentence in state prison.

  • christine

    Dear Mark, I read your columns at least three times just to savor them ,they're so painfully good.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/janicemaerose janicemaerose

    Not bad Steyn, not bad at all. Easier to like than your rants (albeit somewhat interesting rants) about the Human Rights Commission, immigration, Muslims…

  • Alex Pournelle

    Uuuh, it was Vince Foster. And Bill Clinton was impeached, and cannot practice law. And DNA on the dress amounts to nothing? How low, crude and obvious a defense of the old horny toad from Arkansas.

    Your confabulation about how "maybe it went down the way he said" proves you should write novels; you certainly have the flair. Could YOU sleep knowing there was a woman you'd driven into the river, answering even the hotel telephone operator "No, nothing else" when asked what help he needed? Teddy did.

    Convenient, though, ignoring all the other, provable details of Teddy's horrid life: the waitress sandwich, the other pantslessness, the underhanded direct intervention in nuclear politics, et very cetera.

    • scissorpaws

      You say Vince, I say Norman: the conspiracy to slander the Clintons stinks just as redolent. And I wasn't talking Monica, I was talking all the other women – where are they now? The hounding Bad Billy took for 8 years, Kenneth Starr ongoing investigation back to Whitewater and throwing Clintons' friends and business associates in jail on the flimsiest of charges in the hopes of coercing something he could use out of them to nail the President. Strangely loyal were the Clintons' friends, for such a dastardly duo. I don't expect a President to be perfect, just competent, and Clinton was. We barely survived Bush.

      And whatever Teddy did or didn't do with sufficient zeal, he redeemed himself in the end, by endorsing one Barry Obama, against the Clintons, by the way. That straight from the pen of one who doesn't care much for either family, Christopher Hitchens.

      • http://intensedebate.com/people/sourstud sourstud

        Are you suggesting that he redeemeed himself of leaving a woman to drown – by endorsing Barack Obama? Because that would be just slightly outrageous.

  • Paul Round

    The Kennedys hated him? Good man then

  • Guest

    Averted war with Cuba? JFK pulled the support from the Cuban invasion thus slaughtering the invaders on the beaches. Guess you did not know JFK pulled US missles out of Turkey for the Russians to pull their missles out of Cuba. He allowed the Berlin Wall to go up and backed down to the Russian bear. He began the Vietnam disaster with the US Army advisor program that was accelerated by LBJ. How is that Non-Proliferation Treaty doing? Please!

  • http://geckofeeder.blogspot.com Helene Fagan

    He was a friend. Thank you for honoring the man he was.

  • ambro

    I too missed Dom's passing for the same reason..toooo much Kennedy canonization. He was one of the very, very few to truthfully follow the US's First Family of Amero-trash and the generation that put the "shanty" back in Irish as was remarked about Joe pere.
    Dom was a true chronicler of his time and place;none like him now. RIP

  • Jakealoper

    That is cute Mr. Steyn, use Mr. Dunne's death as a way to attack Mr. Kennedy, real class. BTW, since Skakel wasn't a Kennedy or his victim wasn't an "inconvenient woman" or ex lover, where is the symmetry?

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/DerekPearce DerekPearce

    Pretty entertaining column. Just one nitpick though: Steyn generally promotes the idea that personal responsibility is important and is against the use of drugs. Why then is it Ted Kennedy's fault that he "drove his wife to drink"? Her own personal responsibility doesn't count in that instance, if it's blameable on a Kennedy? Otherwise, great article. I always enjoyed the juiciness of Dunne's VF pieces.

  • A.Men

    Wonderful rembrance of a wonderful man, Nick. You will be missed!

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