This Week: Good news/Bad news

By Michael Friscolanti - Friday, September 18, 2009 at 9:00 AM - 0 Comments

Face of the week
Fouled out: B.C. slugger Justin Morneau is nursing more than a sore cheek. His season is over, thanks to a fracture in his back.

A week in the (after)life of Kurt Cobain
Dead for 15 years, the Nirvana singer has made a comeback—in Guitar Hero 5. Cobain’s widow, Courtney Love, originally agreed to the digital resurrection, but now that it’s on store shelves she is threatening to sue. His former bandmates are equally livid that players can use the Cobain character to sing dozens of different songs, and not just the two Nirvana selections. Consumers aren’t too upset. At week’s end, Guitar Hero 5 was outselling the much-hyped Rock Band: The Beatles. Continue…

Econowatch

By Steve Maich - Friday, September 18, 2009 at 8:30 AM - 1 Comment

There are many signs of rising confidence in the air lately, from the return of real estate bidding wars to new equity offerings and takeover deals. But the surest sign of an economic spring is this: debt is rising again.

This might not sound like good news. The word debt strikes fear in the hearts of millions of Canadians. After all, we’ve spent the past 18 months hearing that debt is terribly dangerous. Debt will curve your spine, clog your arteries and stain your teeth. Debt, we’re told again and again, is what got us into this mess in the first place, and if there was one positive that emerged from the Great Recession of 2008-09, it’s that it forced a massive worldwide flushing of toxic loans from the system—like a warm water enema for the world economy. Continue…

Bruce Cockburn's rocket launcher, Knut's girlfriend, and the new Osama

By Ken MacQueen - Friday, September 18, 2009 at 8:00 AM - 2 Comments

Dr. Nash’s hero
Wheelchair basketball lifted Terry Fox out of the funk of losing a leg to cancer. So it’s fitting that Fox’s Marathon of Hope inspired fellow British Columbian Steve Nash, Canada’s greatest basketball player. Nash interviewed Fox’s family, visited his grave in Port Coquitlam and has produced a heartfelt documentary on his childhood hero, to be aired on ESPN next spring. Fox’s foundation has raised hundreds of millions for cancer research. Nash’s own foundation helps “underserved” children in Canada, Arizona and Paraguay. The Phoenix Suns point guard is back in B.C. this weekend to receive an honorary law degree from the University of Victoria, and to host a charity soccer match in Vancouver.

White-collar crooks
Both the federal and Quebec governments promised tougher measures this week to hunt down and jail white-collar fraudsters, and none too soon in the view of jilted investors. Jury selection began on Monday for the criminal trial of Vincent Lacroix, the former CEO of Norbourg Asset Management. He is accused of stealing $115 million from thousands of Quebec investors. He was previously found guilty of securities violations and was sentenced to 12 years in prison. That was reduced on appeal, and he is now on parole after serving just 40 months. Also free in Montreal, money manager Earl Jones faces criminal charges for allegedly scamming 150 investors, including friends and family, of $50 million. Bailiffs seized his condominium last Friday as police kept a watchful eye on a scrum of angry investors waiting outside. Jones had wisely already vacated, leaving behind junk food on the counter and an open book on the sofa. Proceeds from the condo’s sale will go to investors. In Calgary on Monday, police charged two Alberta men with allegedly running an international Ponzi scheme that raised more than $100 million from investors. One of the men is still at large. Continue…

A bikini photo? On the Internet??!

By Scott Feschuk - Friday, September 18, 2009 at 7:37 AM - 0 Comments

My column from this past week’s magazine can be found here. If I do say so myself, it features the first convincing account of circumstances under which I could plausibly orchestrate my own beheading.

Week Two of Can’t Miss NFL Picks and Other Lies can be found here. It features attractions of a bikini-clad nature and at least two faintly homoerotic passages, meaning there’s something for everyone.

The meaning of life can be found here. It features bacon (probably).

NFL Picks Week 2: Brady v. Sanchez—first guy to 10 supermodels wins

By Scott Feschuk - Friday, September 18, 2009 at 7:32 AM - 5 Comments

Scott Feschuk: Last week 7-9

Scott Reid: Last week 9-7

Not a stellar opening week for either of us, but it’s early in the season. The men haven’t even been separated from the boys yet. Which, if you think about it, means the men are still playing with the boys – which seems unfair, and a little too much like weekends at Neverland. (Too soon?)

Tampa Bay (plus 4.5) at Buffalo

Feschuk: I was reading the other day that several NFL players – and this is for real – have agreed to donate their brains to help study the effect of head trauma on NFL players. I guess no one told Leodis McKelvin he’s supposed to wait until he’s dead to do it. McKelvin’s boneheaded Monday night fumble, when my Bills were so close to upsetting the Pats, was an absolute heartbreaker. Wide right, the Music City Miracle, watching Drew Bledsoe try to “run” – being a Buffalo fan is soooo tough. I’m thinking of taking up a less painful hobby, like genital piercing or voting NDP. By the way, you may have heard that McKelvin’s lawn was vandalized the day after the game, and I just want to go on record as saying I got all this sod and muck in my boot treads from gardening. Yeah, gardening. That’s it. (You’re part McKelvin on your mother’s side, right? Need a dented mailbox with the family name?) Pick: Buffalo.

Reid: The horror of McKelvin’s decision to run the ball out of the end zone was matched only by the class of Terrell Owens in slagging his teammate after the game. As if the dude had no other way of learning that he had screwed up. Of course, Owens didn’t stop there. For good measure he threw in some choice criticisms of QB Trent Edwards. This after Owens notched two catches and – wait for it – one drop! Yes. That’s right. TO was dropping balls again – as though he’s Leodis’ spiritual father. TO – you’ll have led this team into civil war by week 6. Fans of Buffalo (who tend to be erratic and defiantly unmedicated) believe last week’s game was evidence the team is underrated. I prefer to believe it’s evidence they’re still outstanding at finding ways to crush their fans’ spirits. Lucky for them, they’re facing Byron Sandwich and the sad remnants of a once-great defence. Pick: Buffalo

New England (minus 4) at New York Jets

Reid: Tom Brady did some amazing things Monday night. He threw more than 50 passes. He led his team to a rousing fourth-quarter comeback. And he made Suzy Kolber run like her paycheque depended upon it. (Which, it sorta does). Rookie Mark Sanchez marshaled his team to an opening day victory and suddenly, he’s as popular as William Shatner at an all-girls retirement home. It all amounts to one whoppingly generous line for this game. Sure, New England’s defence looked as old as Rex Ryan looks custard-filled. But that’s no reason to narrow things down this low. Take New England and gorge on the spread. Pick: New England.

Feschuk: It’s been quite a week: We had a “smize” duel on America’s Next Top Model – what? you don’t know what a “smize” is? it’s when you “smile with your eyes,” like models do in magazines and Rex Ryan does when he smells bacon – and now we get Brady v. Sanchez in the greatest sexy-hot-quarterback showdown since Terry Bradshaw glimpsed himself in the mirror and thought he was his own evil twin. Belichick is a genius and all that, but his defence has more soft spots than Vince Wilfork’s torso. Pick: Jets.

New Orleans (plus 1) at Philadelphia

Feschuk: The Eagles looked great last week crushing the Panthers – so on one hand you’ve got to factor in their talent level and sense of determination, but on the other you’ve got to factor in Donovan McNabb’s cracked rib and the fact that Andy Reid is still winded from last Sunday’s victory jog to the locker room. That said, people may be over-reacting to Drew Brees’ six TDs last week – remember, they were against the Lions, so when we convert them to “real” stats it’s less like “throwing six touchdowns” and more like “successfully hitting the urinal.” Pick: Philly.

Reid: Wrong you are, rumpled one. New Orleans has all the tools. They may not look quite so good up against top-notch clubs but with all that talent, they deserve the benefit of the doubt. Until they lose, I’m riding these guys all the way to the dance. And they’re going up against Kevin ‘corn on the’ Kolb. He’s got more pressure on him than anyone in the NFL this week. With Garcia’s signing and the third QB slot written in ink for Vick, Corn On is playing for his job. If he falters, Garcia takes his spot on the depth chart and he’s on a bus outta town. The heat will get to him and he’ll make mistakes. Pick: New Orleans.

Houston (plus 6.5) at Tennessee

Reid: Man, a few nervous Nancys in Vegas or what? A week ago, Houston was set to take the league by storm. One loss later and they’re picking up points the way Jeff Fisher picks up hair dye (Cheval Noir #7 if I know my moustache rinses). This is what sucks about betting early in the season. Who knows if Tennessee is good because they stayed step for step with Pittsburgh? Maybe it means Pittsburgh and its complete lack of a running game simply isn’t as good as we thought. Or maybe it means their moon was in retrograde. Who the hell knows? But I wouldn’t pass up a line like this so early in the season. Pick: Houston.

Feschuk: You’re onto something here. My favourite part of early-season NFL is the predictable overreaction of analysts and experts – Drew Brees is going to get 1,000 TD passes! The Panthers are going to go 0-16! Tony Romo is competent! A week ago, the Texans were being called things like “Super Bowl contender.” Now they’re being called things like “the Houston Texans.” Even though I have to admit that the Titans’ D and Fisher’s moustache both look to be in mid-season form, I’m taking Houston to cover. Pick: Houston.

Cleveland (plus 3) at Denver

Feschuk: For reasons I don’t fully understand myself, I was watching the end of last week’s Broncos-Bengals game when Brandon Stokley snagged that tipped pass and ran it in for the win. And you really had to be watching it live to appreciate not only the improbability of the play – apparently, God decided to stop tormenting Kate Gosselin long enough to make it happen – but also the epic nature of the play-by-play call by Gus Johnson, who is to verbal restraint what Amy Winehouse is to all other forms of restraint. When Stokley grabbed the ball, Gus screamed, “Oh God!” – which doesn’t look all that impressive when typed, except he screamed it as though he’d pulled back the bed covers to discover a horse’s head or, worse still, a Spears. OH GOD!! I quite literally thought that I could see Gus Johnson’s larynx shooting out of the press box and slowly drifting down to the field. It was awesome. Anyhoo, I’m not going to bet against any team to whom the man upstairs felt He owed a solid. Pick: Denver.

Reid: Lost in the sheer spectacle of Stokley’s play and Johnson’s call was Josh Daniels on the sideline who fell to his knees, burned some St. John’s Wort and mumbled his gratitude in Latin to the dark powers for answering his spell. Daniels needed this win the way Cher needs the life essence of 20-year-old men. A loss would have led to such ugliness. But let’s face it. Not much went right for Denver until the final play of the game. Good for them that they’re back home this week and facing a team that, to put it technically, blows. Everyone wants the Browns to be better. The NFL is more fun when the Browns are good. But they’re not good. And this week that will be on display. Way to go Josh. And don’t forget to stay inside the salt circle or the demons you summon could turn on you. Pick: Denver.

St. Louis (plus 9.5) at Washington

Reid: Jason Campbell didn’t exactly answer his critics last week. Or his fans. Or Heath Shuler who called to say, “Are you me?” St. Louis went up against a much better team than Washington last week. But even still, the Rams’ offensive and defensive lines look softer than my waistline (I wanted to say ‘your waistline’ but ever since you went on that ridiculous weight loss/fitness/self-improvement schtick I have only myself left to call fat. Sigh, times change). Pick: Washington.

Feschuk: Full disclosure: I don’t care about this game and have no insight to share. Meanwhile, have you heard that John Madden has been named a special advisor to the NFL commissioner with a mandate to advise on potential changes to the game? I mention this so you’re not surprised when the Super Bowl comes and the winning coach gets doused with gravy. Pick: St. Louis.

Cincinnati (plus 9) at Green Bay

Feschuk: After losing to the Broncos, a team only slightly less dysfunctional than the Lohans and Canada’s democracy, the Bengals head to Lambeau – and don’t you get the feeling that right now even Marv Lewis is wondering what it would take for him to get fired? Does he have to order his team captain to go out for the coin toss and call, “Purple?” If we were to scour the land in a quest to find someone, anyone, less good at what he does than Marv Lewis, I think we’d pretty quickly have to narrow the search to Cuba Gooding Jr.’s house. Pick: Green Bay.

Reid: I have a theory that Marv Lewis hasn’t been fired because he’s not real. He’s the Paul McCartney of NFL football. The real Marv Lewis, the one who insisted on rock-hard defensive discipline, mental toughness and maximum effort while coaching in Baltimore was sadly killed driving near St. Albert’s Hall. He blew his mind out in a car. He didn’t notice that the lights had changed. Since that day, the Bengals have had an imposter pretend to be Marv Lewis. Luckily, this imposter looks in every way like the genuine article. Unluckily, he never really learned all the confusing rules of football. Obviously, his tenure as a coach has been terrible. But what is the team owner to do? If he fires faux-Lewis, then the disgruntled doppelganger will reveal the whole scheme. But if he keeps him around, the team will continue to be a straight man for Ochocinco’s Sonny Bono style of humour. Frankly, I sympathize with the Bengals. They’re in a real bind. Pick: Green Bay.

Arizona (plus 3) at Jacksonville

Reid: Against San Francisco, Kurt Warner looked old, gray and scared. Sort of like Madonna every time a woman under 30 walks by. Jacksonville, rumoured to be ‘good,’ didn’t exactly trip the light fantastic in Week One either. I was having a hard time deciding where to place my bet until Anquan Boldin came out this week and said his team sucks. Who am I to argue? Dude is onto something. Pick: Jacksonville.

Feschuk: He didn’t say they suck – he was just irked about the sloppiness, the penalties and the way old man Warner kept taking his teeth out in the huddle. Classic bounce-back game. (Yes, I just used wagering terminology. Accept it.) Pick: Arizona.

Carolina (plus 6.5) at Atlanta

Feschuk: I want to officially apologize to the Carolina Panthers for picking them to go to the Super Bowl. It’s like the Sports Illustrated jinx, but you don’t get injured – you get awful. The Panthers had a chance to make a statement last week against Eagles. Unfortunately, the statement they made was, “Here, would you like this ball?” That said, talk about another Vegas overreaction – Carolina lost to a very good team in Week One; Atlanta beat Miami. Let’s try to keep things in perspective here people. Pick: Carolina.

Reid: You’re a reverse rabbit’s foot if ever one existed. You even had me fooled. I took them last week largely on the strength of your recommendation. But I should have learned my lesson about listening to you after taking your advice to meet with that nice Mr. Madoff about investment opportunities. And yet, here I am again agreeing with you. This line is erratic. It’s nuts to pass up this many points. Pick: Atlanta

Seattle (plus 1.5) at San Francisco

Reid: I love Mike Singletary. I love his energy. His attitude. His kisses on that hyper-ticklish hollow on the back of my neck. I love him. Love him. Love him. Love him. If I was a man, I’d want to be just like him. But Lord, I hate this line. It’s so out of whack. It should be taking eight points from Seattle. THEN, I’d bet my Niners. But a pick ‘em? Come on!! That’s not fair. But I love Mike Singletary. And if I bet on Seattle it will be a betrayal of him and all that he’s got going so far. I can’t do it. I have to rise above reason and choose Love. Pick: SF.

Feschuk: I’d sit back and bask in the glow of your tender affection for Mike Singletary, but I can’t help but feel for Adrian Zmed. You said all those same things about him, and now he’s working the Princess Cruise Lines alone, standing by the railing in the moonlight, staring at the Alaskan coastline and dreaming of what could have been. Yours is a fickle man-love. Pick: Seattle.

Oakland (plus 3.5) at K.C.

Feschuk: After watching the Raiders play on Monday night, I foresee Oakland being game enough to keep this one close and maybe even knock off the Chiefs. Then again, I also foresee an inexplicably bikinied Olivia Wilde getting a flat tire in front of my house, and that never seems to happen. I’m starting to run out of glass shards. (FYI, it would look something like the photo illustration below, but it would be at night and I’d be there casting a reassuring gaze while subtly ripping the phone cord out of the wall.) Pick: Oakland.

Reid: Another AFC West classic. I’d really like to watch this. I would. Honest. But I’ve got a bunch of Mantracker’s taped and if I don’t get to them, I’ll just fall behind on season’s major story arc. Pick: Oakland

Baltimore (plus 3) at San Diego

Reid: Here’s the unpleasant truth: LT is so over that he might as well just take his place in the washed up Hall of Fame and start dating Heather Locklear. I watched with awe this week as people absorbed Monday night’s Raiders-Chargers duel and concluded the Raiders were better than expected. Huh? More like the Chargers remain bizarre underperformers. Sloppy play. Untough. And LT looked like he belonged in a flag football league. Now he’s injured (or wearing a boot, at least). Buddy even fumbled, and he’s not supposed to ever do that. It’s sad. He was great. But so was the first season of Heroes. That’s all behind us now. Pick: Baltimore.

Feschuk: San Diego was the trendy AFC Super Bowl pick for many pundits this pre-season. Call me old-fashioned but I have a hard time banking on a team whose coach, no matter the game situation, always sports a facial expression that seems to ask, “Wait, did I leave my car lights on?” Pick: Baltimore.

Minnesota (minus 10) at Detroit

Feschuk: I know Minnesota’s air game didn’t look so great last week, but you have to remember it’s a process of transition: when it seemed as though the quarterback would be Tarvaris Jackson or Sage Rosenfels, they didn’t even have a forward pass in their playbook. (By the way, I ordered the sage rosenfels last night at Olive Garden – delicious.) More important, did you see the beard on Brad Childress? Trimmed to a George Michaelesque precision! They decide these games based on facial grooming, right? Pick: Minnesota.

Reid: Detroit looks to keep this one close as I look through Kate Beckinsale’s window imagining that if she spots me, our eyes will lock, she’ll smile seductively and motion for me to enter for a night of crazed I-know-he’s-a-stalker-but-I-couldn’t-resist-him-anyway sex. Adrian Peterson would gain a hundred yards in this game if showed up wearing a fat suit. This will be fun to watch – just to see the colours the Lions’ players make when they get hit and burst open. Pick: Minnesota

Pittsburgh (minus 3) at Chicago

Feschuk: In what coach Lovie Smith describes as the best way to maximize his club’s chances of victory, Chicago will start Jay Cutler again at quarterback this week. In what Steelers coach Mike Tomlin described as the best way to maximize his club’s chances of victory, Pittsburgh will play the Chicago Bears this week. Pick: Pittsburgh.

Reid: I don’t like Chicago but Pittsburgh failed to impress me with its lack of a running game last week. And the loss of Polamalu cuts deep. So I’m taking the Bears. Just cause. (Being whimsically unpredictable is part of what makes me attractive. My extra long eyelashes are the other part). Pick: Chicago.

New York Giants (plus 3) at Dallas, Sunday night

Reid: I know that everyone will be jazzed to see the fancy new home of “America’s Team”. As we bear witness to the prime-time unveiling of the new Cowboys Stadium, Jerry Jones will take centre stage. And, just to make him feel accepted, every fifth fan at the game will remove their face, cut it in half and then stretch what’s left back over their skull. It should be a night to remember. Truth is, these two division rivals are pretty evenly matched as far as we know so far. But it’s like I always say: when in doubt, piss on Dallas. Pick: Giants.

Feschuk: I’m not saying the Cowboys are putting too much stock in having beaten Tampa Bay, but a cocky Wade Phillips came out and announced that from now on his players will be taking things 1.5 games at a time. Come on, Cowboys: Tampa’s defence consists of Ronde Barber and 10 Jack Lambert Fatheads. Let’s see Romo drop back and throw when there’s something coming at him other than nothing. Pick: Giants.

Indianapolis (minus 3) at Miami, Monday night

Reid: North America should send Jon Gruden flowers. Comparing him to Tony Kornheiser is like comparing Scarlett Johansson to Susan Boyle. Monday nights are fun to watch again, thank God. Gruden is witty, animated and smart. He’s the natural successor to Madden. Too bad that he’ll be hired back onto the field next year. So let’s at least enjoy him while we can. As for the game, Indy may not be what they used to be but Miami never was what they used to be. Last year’s whole season was like a sleight of hand brought to you by the good people in the league office. They gave the 2008 Dolphins a schedule so easy that we should officially refer to last year as “two thousand and Lohan”. Expect Indy’s offense to get started early and often. This will be a blowout. Pick: Indianapolis.

Feschuk: Prediction: Colts win big. Another prediction: It’s going to be splittsville for Jessica Alba and Cash Warren. Or it will be once my Charles Atlas starter kit arrives in four to six weeks. Pick: Indianapolis.

Week in Pictures: September 11th – September 17th, 2009

By macleans.ca - Friday, September 18, 2009 at 1:38 AM - 0 Comments

Exit strategy

By Aaron Wherry - Friday, September 18, 2009 at 1:27 AM - 17 Comments

Globe and Mail, Sept. 10. Putting the best possible pre-election gloss on forecasts of deeper red ink for Ottawa, Finance Minister Jim Flaherty is assuring Canadians the light at the end of the deficit tunnel should be visible by 2015. Mr. Flaherty refused to promise when the Conservatives might balance the budget – blaming a murky economic outlook – but insisted the Tories are the only party that can be trusted to bring Ottawa back into surplus without raising taxes or cutting transfers to provinces … Although Mr. Flaherty had last week said he would lay out a path to balanced budgets – “how we will move back to surplus” – the effort presented Thursday fell well short of this. The Conservatives said detailed measures would have to wait until their economic crystal ball grows clearer.

Canwest, tonight. Prime Minister Stephen Harper warned Thursday night against having no “exit” strategy from high government deficit and debt levels, delivering his message to a U.S. business audience already jittery about Washington’s spending … he signalled that a failure of the U.S. government to move toward balancing its books could stifle longer-term economic expansion. ”There must be plans put in place to exit from high levels of government deficits and debt so that capital investment in the private sector is not eventually crowded out,” Harper said.

Tarantino's Teutonic Brad Pitt

By Brian D. Johnson - Thursday, September 17, 2009 at 11:42 PM - 1 Comment

Jana Pallaske and Til Schweiger in 'Phantom Pain'

Tonight I had a beer with Germany’s biggest box office star. I was introducded to Til Schweiger at a small, jammed party for TIFF’s gala premiere of Phantom Pain (Phantomschmerz)—a German movie inspired by the true story of a Canadian cyclist Mark Sumner, whose life was traumatically changed by a car accident.  Til Schweiger has been called Germany’s Brad Pitt. And he co-starred with Pitt, speaking English as one of his Nazi-scalping squad in Inglourious Basterds. But when I ask Schweiger about the comparison, after expressing his huge admiration for Pitt as an actor, he says, “I’m not Germany’s Brad Pitt; I’m Germany’s Will Smith.” (Given that Smith is Hollywood’s biggest earner at the box office, the analogy makes sense.) Inglourious Basterds has been a massive hit in Germany,  bigger than Pulp Fiction. But Schweiger told me he was furious that European countries chose to dub the film rather than subtitle it—undermining the multilingual intrigue that serves as its central comic conceit. “Here comes this guy who goes against all odds,” says the actor. “At the risk of alienating all the Americans,  Quentin had everyone speak their own language, so you wouldn’t have Germans speaking English to each other in a phony German accent.” In his role as a German-American soldier, Schweiger naturally spoke English with his comrades. But for Germany’s version of the film, he had to dub his English lines into German. “The German audience knows me as a native German speaker. And when I’m in an international film speaking English it’s a different  timing, a different rhythm. Then I dub it into German, and the German audience wonders, ‘why does he talk like this?’ ”

When Schweiger asked me what I thought of Phantom Pain, I confessed I had to work late and missed the premiere but planned to catch it in a repeat screening. He said he appreciated the honesty, then recalled an incident at a party where he caught someone’s bluff. Once he was schmoozed by a producer who profusely congratulated him on his performance in a film that he didn’t appear in, but was incorrectly listed on his IMDB page.

Taking The Fun Out of Dysfunction

By Jaime Weinman - Thursday, September 17, 2009 at 11:37 PM - 3 Comments

I didn’t like the pilot of Community as much as most people did (though it is, after all, only a pilot). I found something a little hacky about a lot of the joke writing, with lots of rhythms, joke constructions and characters that have become clichés of the “edgy” comedy: the guy who compares everything to popular movies, the politically-incorrect old guy, the laundry lists of dysfunctions and bad behaviour. (I was really hoping they would not have that character make the obvious reply after someone mentioned “Aspergers,” but yes: “Heh-heh-heh… assburgers.” Seriously, it’s not clever or edgy if we see it coming.) The last scene, where the characters show at least some potential to function as an ensemble, was promising, though, but I feel like the weakest things about it are the cynical/dysfunctional bits, and it works best when it’s closer to a regular ensemble comedy about more or less normal people trying to make it. But with the Joel McHale character at the centre, it’s going to have trouble playing to that strength.

One of the things that makes The Office unusually successful and durable for an edgy-comedy franchise is, I think, that Ricky Gervais and Ian Stephen Merchant deliberately didn’t play up the dysfunctions of the characters. Even David Brent is dysfunctional in a realistic way, the guy who thinks he’s funny and beloved but isn’t. Most of the other characters on that show were as mundane as the lives they led. The American version has become broader and turned at least one character, Dwight, into a full-blown cartoon character — but it still has its roots in the idea that most of these people are not unrecognizably weird or dysfunctional. Which seems to be the right mix for comedy: characters who range from fully sane, to people who are crazy but in a realistic way, to one or two out-and-out cartoons (your Kramers, Barneys, Sheldons, Jim Ignatowski-ses). This probably is too generalized a pronouncement, but I think one reason single-camera shows have trouble catching on is their tendency to define almost every character by their dysfunctionality. The paradoxical thing is that characters sometimes have more potential to become funny if they start with relatively common, everyday characteristics, as long as those characteristics are well-defined. (“The hard-drinking, crusty boss” or “the know-it-all barfly” are decent ways to start with a character. “The fast-talking guy who compares everything to The Breakfast Club or Meatballs,” I don’t know about.)

I enjoyed The Office premiere a lot (I missed the Parks and Recreation premiere, but will try and catch up with it and see if that show is making the expected second-season improvement). Paul Lieberstein, who wrote and directed the premiere and is in charge of the show while Greg Daniels and Michael Schur are busy with Parks, has always been good at light comedy based on dark subjects, which can then take an unexpected dip into genuine darkness (but one that, because the episode deals with adultery, we’ve been properly set up for). It’s surprising, though, how much the show has abandoned the idea of David/Michael unwittingly abusing his power. The original idea was that the boss is terrorizing, manipulating and pulling incredibly cruel jokes on his employees, and they have to sit there and take it because he’s the boss. But this episode, with the story about the intern program, had all kinds of opportunities for that type of joke, and the script did not take them. Instead the episode wound up with Michael being scared of his employees, rather than the other way around. The inherent cruelty of the premise occasionally comes out on the show, but it’s become a much gentler show as Michael has become more of a sympathetic (if exasperating) character.

'I am innocent'

By Aaron Wherry - Thursday, September 17, 2009 at 11:22 PM - 0 Comments

Rahim Jaffer responds to the allegations against him.

“I intend to fight the serious accusations that have been made against me. I am innocent and am confident of full exoneration. I cannot express how grateful I am for the support of my family and friends and I ask that you respect their privacy as I strive to clear my name.”

Beyond 2011: What will we be doing in Afghanistan?

By John Geddes - Thursday, September 17, 2009 at 8:07 PM - 31 Comments

What exactly will Canada’s role in Afghanistan be after July 2011?

That is, of course, the date by which our “military presence in Kandahar” must end, according to the wording of the key motion passed by Conservatives and Liberals voting together in the House of Commons back on March 13, 2008.

I listened carefully when three important Conservatives—the Prime Minister, Trade Minister Stockwell Day, and Chris Alexander, Canada’s former ambassador to Afghanistan—were all asked this week about what Canadians might be doing in Afghanistan two years from now.

In my opinion, the answer given by Alexander— who made news today by revealing that he plans to run for the Tories in an Ontario riding in the next election—doesn’t mesh with those offered by the two senior voices from the government he hopes to join.

Continue…

The Commons: Shameful, callous, disrespectful, unacceptable, insensitive

By Aaron Wherry - Thursday, September 17, 2009 at 6:29 PM - 74 Comments

The Scene. Nothing quite calms the barroom atmosphere of an afternoon in the House of Commons quite like death. Or, in this case, the theoretical possibility of same.

So that silence descended today once it became clear that Todd Russell (left) was opening Question Period with something of such seriousness.

“Mr. Speaker, imagine that you, your child or your grandmother has H1N1. Imagine people who live in fear at the spread of this disease. Imagine being a community leader or health worker pleading for help, trying to prepare and too often doing so on your own,” he began, speaking evenly and deliberately. “What message does it send a person, their people and their community when the government will not send medicine but will send body bags? Will the Minister of Health own up to her responsibilities and apologize for this shameful incompetence?”

There were some grumbles and groans from the government side.

The Health Minister was otherwise engaged, so it was John Baird sent up to offer a response.

“Mr. Speaker, I totally agree with the member for Labrador,” he said. “What happened in recent events is unacceptable. It is incredibly insensitive and offensive. The Minister of Health has ordered her department to conduct a thorough and immediate inquiry into this matter and the results of that inquiry will be made public.” Continue…

Weed your way around the world

By Nicholas Köhler - Thursday, September 17, 2009 at 5:20 PM - 4 Comments

The routine was brutal. He got up at 4:30 a.m. and started weeding at five. Two hours later they passed around the bread for breakfast. On his hands and knees, loaned out to a neighbour’s farm, he thrust his gloved hands into mud and yanked out potatoes. The woman next to him grabbed what she thought was the stem of a potato plant and pulled up a rat instead. After lunch, they packaged the vegetables harvested that morning for market, slaving until nine at night. Then James Bejar fell into the men’s quarters, a mouldy, dank place, and slept. He was not an indentured servant; Bejar was on holiday.

“It was just back-breaking work,” says the 31-year-old Toronto public servant, whose vacation à la Dickens dates back to a two-week stint WWOOFing—volunteering on an organic farm in exchange for room and board—in Nagano, Japan. His story might suggest his was a one-time experiment; yet Bejar has returned again and again to what he sees as a cheap method of travel offering a glimpse of “part of a society and of a people you don’t get by travelling from hotel to hotel.”

WWOOFing organizations—the acronym stands for World Wide Opportunities on Organic Farms—now exist in over 100 countries, connecting volunteers with farmers. In exchange for weeding, feeding and shovelling manure—normally for no more than six hours a day (Bejar’s Nagano jaunt was an anomaly)—the volunteers receive food and accommodation, usually living as part of the family.

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Prostitutes overrun a Spanish icon

By Rachel Mendleson - Thursday, September 17, 2009 at 5:00 PM - 6 Comments

On Barcelona’s Las Ramblas—the bustling thoroughfare known for its flower vendors, dancing buskers and the 250,000 visitors a day it attracts—tourists have plenty of fodder for photos. But the images that recently surfaced of prostitutes servicing men just off the strip’s iconic market are not the stuff of postcards. The photographs, published in the Spanish newspaper El Paìs, have drawn attention to Las Ramblas’ seedier side. As one restaurateur recently told the Times, “There are more prostitutes than ever. They don’t wait for their clients, they go looking for them.”

For as long as tourists have flocked to the cobblestone strip that connects the city centre with the old harbour, the street has had a dark underbelly. In 1907, Pablo Picasso featured prostitutes from a brothel on nearby Avinyó Street in his painting Les Demoiselles d’Avignon. By night, it has never been unusual to spot drug dealers or drunken revellers in the area.

But critics say the balance has tipped too far toward the tawdry. Las Ramblas is now frequented by pickpockets; travellers are warned to hold their purses tightly. Even before the sex photos surfaced, La Vanguardia newspaper observed that on Las Ramblas, “The sensation is of chaos, of a lost city.”

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The inevitable appeal to humour

By Aaron Wherry - Thursday, September 17, 2009 at 4:37 PM - 0 Comments

From Liberal MP Michelle Simson’s Twitter feed.

Gr8 20th BD party 4 Hill Times tonite. Jaffer dui & drug bust was all the talk. Tough on crime bills came just in the nick of time.

Agree with getting tough on white collar crime bill. Just hope the new bill gets tough on white “powder” crime too!

Liberal MPs have since been told to decline comment on Rahim Jaffer’s situation.

Mind trap of the day

By Aaron Wherry - Thursday, September 17, 2009 at 4:33 PM - 38 Comments

From Question Period this afternoon.

Hon. John McCallum (Markham—Unionville, Lib.): Mr. Speaker, I have a question for the finance minister. Does the increase in employment insurance premiums beginning in 2011 constitute a tax increase, yes or no?

Mr. Ted Menzies (Parliamentary Secretary to the Minister of Finance, CPC): Mr. Speaker, the simple answer to that is no. Let me remind Canadians what happened to the notional surplus that was in the EI fund years ago. It is gone. Those people who paid into it never got it back. We provided an arm’s-length board to manage that, so that can never happen again.

Will GLEE Cover This Song?

By Jaime Weinman - Thursday, September 17, 2009 at 4:22 PM - 11 Comments

Glee is still finding its way, and last night’s episode was a step backwards in some ways, forwards in others. They’re already having problems figuring out how to sustain the tone of the pilot or even the rules that govern the musical numbers; they’re getting close to doing full-fledged musical numbers that go beyond the boundaries of “real-life” performance, and I would not be at all surprised if people are breaking into song in the street by the time the season is over. Though one way or another, they’ll have to improve the lip-synching, an important part of any filmed musical (it’s not usually possible to do an elaborate musical number without singing to playback). I don’t know if it’s the lip-synching or the sound recording, which gives no suggestion of the acoustic of wherever they happen to be performing the number, but they simply don’t give the feeling that they’re doing these numbers in the room. (This is a very common problem on TV shows that do musical numbers. There’s no time to mix the sound of the song to really match the dialogue, so the dialogue and music wind up sounding like they were recorded in completely different rooms — which they were.)

It also never ceases to amaze me that edgy one-camera (and in this case one-hour) shows can get away with doing plots that would get a more conventional-looking show branded as hopelessly corny. The scene where the evil new coach tries to kick out the people who are “different” and is rebuffed with a speech about how being different is what makes you special — not only is that an old plot, but they didn’t even feel the need to try to cut through the treacle or subvert the scene with a joke the way [insert name of multi-camera teen comedy that did this plot] would. I’m not really criticizing, because it is probably a good thing that shows from Glee to 30 Rock feel the confidence to do old sitcom plots without apologizing for them. It’s like their edgy cred frees the writers up to do all the stories they remember from their years of non-edgy TV viewing.

Finally, to bring these two points together, I will say that Glee is increasingly starting to remind me of:

A deadly place to be a journalist

By Kate Lunau - Thursday, September 17, 2009 at 4:20 PM - 1 Comment

Last week, there was yet another reminder that journalists are far from safe in Russia. Media outlets around the world were reporting that the Arctic Sea cargo ship—which went missing for more than two weeks in early August—might have been transporting Russian S-300 anti-aircraft missiles to Iran. But a Russian journalist who repeated those claims was forced to flee his country, fearing repercussions.

Mikhail Voitenko, editor of the online Maritime Bulletin-Sovfrakht, claimed he’d received a phone call from “serious people” after publicly contradicting Russian officials. It’s just further proof, says Jean-François Julliard, secretary-general of Paris-based Reporters Sans Frontières (RSF), that “it’s not safe to be a journalist in Russia.”

Indeed, Russia ranks as one of the deadliest countries in the world for working journalists: only Iraq and Algeria are more dangerous, according to the Committee to Protect Journalists. On RSF’s press freedom index, Russia ranked 141st of 173 countries in 2008, putting it slightly behind Sudan.

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Jimmy Carter is not the problem

By John Parisella - Thursday, September 17, 2009 at 4:18 PM - 88 Comments

Jimmy Carter stirred up controversy recently by saying Barack Obama’s opponents are primarily motivated by racism. His comments provoked far right talk-radio host Rush Limbaugh (himself no stranger to controversy) and other conservatives to attack Carter for using race to shut down debate over the president’s agenda. New York Times columnist Maureen Dowd sang a similar tune earlier in the week about the current climate in America. Both pointed to posters and drawings that depict Obama as a witch doctor or make reference to his Kenyan roots, with some even calling him the new Hitler. Whether or not one agrees with Dowd and Carter, racially-inspired slogans and cartoons were indeed present at the Tea Party in Washington last Saturday, along with an even more disconcerting sign that read “Bury Obamacare with Kennedy.” These types of depictions deserve to be condemned and repudiated as being unrepresentative of the spirit behind the demonstrations. Unfortunately, very few, if any, spokespersons or organizers of the protest have come out to set the record straight.

A number of prominent Republican leaders have adeptly argued against too much government, huge deficits, rampant debt and Obama healthcare plan. All are legitimate issues over which to call a peaceful demonstration. But no one has said a word against the marginal fringe. Where are Eric Cantor, Mitch McConnell, John McCain, Orrin Hatch, Mitt Romney? (The same argument could have been made against liberals and their indulgence of the more zealous factions of the American left during the George W. Bush years.)

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Really, really sorry

By Aaron Wherry - Thursday, September 17, 2009 at 4:17 PM - 14 Comments

Over the weekend, the Telegraph-Journal issued a second apology for its story about the Prime Minister’s wafer consumption.

In its troubled report on the communion service at former governor general Roméo LeBlanc’s funeral mass in July, The Telegraph-Journal said prominently, on the front page, that Monsignor Brian Henneberry, a senior Saint John priest, had “demanded” that Prime Minister Stephen Harper explain what he had done with the communion wafer that he had been given. The newspaper has determined that Monsignor Henneberry said no such thing and believes that the false assertion was wholly the product of improper editorial manipulation.

Rufus has a message for Toronto

By Elio Iannacci - Thursday, September 17, 2009 at 4:00 PM - 0 Comments

On the phone from his home in New York, pop star Rufus Wainwright is at a loss for words. The 36-year-old Juno-award-winning singer-songwriter—who has six albums to his name—usually has something clever to say about any subject, but asked about his next trip to Toronto, all Wainwright can manage is a nervous cackle. There is, of course, a reason for this. A little over a year ago the British newspaper the Guardian published a story that quoted Wainwright saying this of Canada’s largest city: “I wish I didn’t have to go back there. It’s trying to be the New York of the Midwest.” After the story hit the Internet, it was announced that Wainwright’s first opera, Prima Donna, would make its North American debut at Toronto’s Luminato arts festival in June 2010.

The “Rufus hates Toronto” story flooded the blogosphere once more, setting off a slew of hate comments directed toward the singer. Even though this isn’t the first time that Wainwright—who is openly gay and highly opinionated—has made news with his views, he refuses to be precious about it. “I’m not going to backpedal. I’ve had bad experiences [in Toronto] but I’m in debt to the city now,” he says. “It was the first place in North America to take a chance and embrace Prima Donna, so when I get there [for the debut], I am going to kiss and make love to it again.”

Oddly enough, the story behind Prima Donna is all about reigniting old flames: an aging opera singer plots a comeback and then falls for a newspaper writer who is reporting on her return to the stage. The reviews have been as contrary as Wainwright’s own brand of humour: the Independent panned the performance, calling it “at best banal, at worst boring”; the New York Times, though calling it “muddled,” also said it was filled with “music of enticing ambiguity.” Regardless of the critical reaction, the two-act production is an impressive feat for any musician. Rife with art-imitating-life/diva-imitating-pop-star moments, the opera’s many scenes, says Wainwright, are plucked from his very own backyard.

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Obama says no to missile shield in Europe

By macleans.ca - Thursday, September 17, 2009 at 3:42 PM - 13 Comments

In “one of the biggest national security reversals by the new administration,” Barack Obama announced Thursday that he would call off the sophisticated missile defense program in Europe planned by George W. Bush – instead putting in place a more modest system aimed at intercepting short to medium-range missiles. “President Bush was right that Iran’s ballistic missile program poses a significant threat,” Obama told reporters, referring to the original rationale behind the plan. But he said new intelligence indicates that Tehran is more likely to develop short or medium-range missiles than intercontinental ones – something his new plan better guards against. Not everyone is happy. “Scrapping the U.S. missile defense system does little more then empower Russia and Iran at the expense of our allies in Europe,” said Republican representative John A. Boehner of Ohio. But Defense Secretary Robert Gates – a Republican first appointed by Bush – insists the new proposal “provides a better missile defense capability than the program [he] recommended almost three years ago.” Anticipating anxiety in Europe over the switch, Obama arranged a late-night call to the Czech PM and early-morning conference with Poland’s PM.

The New York Times

Another reason to keep the kids from eating mud pies

By macleans.ca - Thursday, September 17, 2009 at 3:41 PM - 0 Comments

Lead fears are back again, and this time they’re coming from the garden. Bristol University researchers are warning to parents to keep their kids from putting soil-covered fingers in their mouths after a study found that surprisingly low levels of lead can cause bad behaviour and stunted intellectual growth. Though dirt eaten by children is one of the main sources of the poison, it is also found in water pipes, dust, pottery and toys. The blood level threshold currently thought to do harm is 10 micrograms per decililtre, but according to the researchers, a level of even half of that can do damage.

The Telegraph

About those body bags (II)

By Aaron Wherry - Thursday, September 17, 2009 at 3:41 PM - 54 Comments

An official statement from Health Canada.

Health Canada apologizes for the error that was made in the number of body bags that were ordered for the Wasagamack First Nations. We regret the alarm that this incident has caused.

The Department is working with First Nations in the development of Pandemic Plans for their communities. In addition, our Nursing Stations are actively involved to ensure adequate provisions are in place.

The Department would like to provide some context to the concerns raised about pandemic preparedness in First Nations communities.

Health Canada delivers services in remote areas through Nursing Stations. We routinely stock commonly required medical materials such as personal protective equipment, pharmaceuticals and other medical supplies such as body bags.

These stocks are replenished on an as-needed basis. A location’s stock size is determined by several factors, including total population, utilization and geographic location. Another important consideration is that some of these communities are unreachable by road, water or air during the winter months. In other words, we wouldn’t be able to bring these supplies into some of these communities, should they become necessary.

It is unfortunate that this has been linked exclusively with H1N1. Whether it’s a nursing station in a remote First Nations community in northern Manitoba, or a hospital in downtown Vancouver, supplies are constantly being re-stocked to prepare for unknown and unforeseen events, whether it be a plane crash, environmental disaster or pandemic.

Given the unknown severity of a potential outbreak, and the existing vulnerabilities of northern isolated communities, Manitoba region recently completed a re-stock of supplies for the upcoming three to four month period in a number of First Nations Communities in which we provide primary health care services. The number of bags sent to this community clearly does not correlate with the current scientific evidence that PHAC has provided with respect to the severity of illness that we expect to see in the fall.

Again, Health Canada apologises. We all regret the alarm caused by the stocking of this particular item. It is important to remember that our nurses are focussed entirely on providing primary health care services under often-trying circumstances. We value the excellent work they perform.