How to keep up with China? Donuts, apparently

By Scott Feschuk - Thursday, September 24, 2009 at 5:44 AM - 3 Comments

First off, my column from this past week’s magazine can be found here. It references Jack Layton and Keebler elves, though not in any sort of sexual context so far as you know.

More importantly: Yesterday, our Prime Minister gave a little speech at the Tim Hortons Innovation Centre in Oakville, Ont. Stephen Harper spoke about taxes. He spoke about Afghanistan. Yet at no point did he so much as allude to the most pressing issue on the minds of Canadians tuned in to his address: the Tim Hortons Innovation Centre? What the hell??!

Why the secrecy, Prime Minister? Exactly what “innovations” are they working on at the Tim Hortons Innovation Centre?

• Self-eating cruller.

• Universe’s first “muffin wormhole” – which transports you instantly through time and space to your much fatter self.

• Making each Boston cream so bostony that we can actually taste the Youkilis.

• Blueberry fritter Continue…

'It's unprecedented that Canadian officials were directly responsible for the torture of a Canadian citizen'

By Aaron Wherry - Thursday, September 24, 2009 at 2:27 AM - 7 Comments

Abousfian Abdelrazik files suit, on serious charges.

Mr. Abdelrazik, who spent nearly six years in prison or forced exile while his attempts to come home were thwarted, returned to Canada in June after Ottawa was ordered by a federal judge to repatriate the 47-year-old Sudanese-Canadian.

The lawsuit filed Wednesday seeks more than double the $10.5-million the Harper government paid Maher Arar, the Canadian tortured in Syria. The role of Canada’s spies in Mr. Abdelrazik’s case was “far worse,” than in the Arar case, said Paul Champ, one of his lawyers. “Its unprecedented that Canadian officials were directly responsible for the torture of a Canadian citizen.”

Tough crowd

By Aaron Wherry - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 10:10 PM - 59 Comments

AFP tallies the walkouts.

Delegations from Argentina, Australia, Britain, Costa Rica, Denmark, France, Germany, Hungary, Italy, New Zealand and the United States left the room as Ahmadinejad began to rail against Israel, a European source said.

Israel had already called for a boycott of the speech, and was not present when the Iranian leader began his address. Canada had already said it would heed the boycott call.

Judging from photos such as this, it might’ve been easier to figure out who didn’t leave.

Here’s one cure for election fever

By Scott Feschuk - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 10:00 PM - 18 Comments

Here’s the sad truth about minority government: we’ve had it for five years now and we’re not getting any better at it. Elections, coalitions, prorogations—watching our politicians trying to manage a minority is like watching a labradoodle trying to land a jet or David Caruso trying to act. My fellow Canadians, it’s time to face up to a disturbing fact: we are starting to make Italy look stable.

Sure, the prospect of a minority government was exciting back in 2004. It was the first one in 25 years. But the thrill has worn off as it does with all novelties, like leg warmers and environmentalism.

Nowadays, minority government isn’t working for anyone. It’s not working for a public that seems turned off by all the unsavoury side effects, including endless political gamesmanship and Jack Layton being relevant. And it’s certainly not working for reporters. Since 2004, the media have devoted an estimated 105 per cent of their time to predicting the date of the next election. October! Novemberish! Wait, can I phone a friend?! Election speculation has become our national pastime, displacing the old pastimes of watching hockey and ignoring new Alanis Morissette albums. Continue…

You Can't Solve Mysteries Unless It Affects You Personally

By Jaime Weinman - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 9:56 PM - 3 Comments

Here’s another way in which formula television has changed in the past 20 years or so:  back then, very few shows used the idea that the detective or doctor should have some kind of personal connection to, or parallel with, the cases of the week. Now most procedural shows use that idea. Moonlighting was probably the show that really popularized the concept that a mystery could parallel something that was going on in the characters’ lives, or cause the characters to re-examine their own lives and relationships. Other shows had used it it occasionally (and in keeping with the fact that sitcoms used to be more advanced and character-based than dramas, shows like M*A*S*H and Barney Miller did it frequently). I think Magnum P.I. would sometimes come across a case that reminded him of something he himself had gone through, and other detectives or doctors would do the same, as a one-off. But most of the time, the lead character didn’t have much of a life and was mostly concerned with solving the case, and there were no personal sub-plots that ran parallel to the main story. Columbo, for example, is a justifiably famous TV character, but he literally had no life outside of the cases he investigated; for many years we were deliberately left in the dark as to whether he even had a wife or was just making her up as part of his endless stories (which he used to annoy the bad guy and trick him into dropping his guard).

But today, even on shows that are mostly about mystery-solving and don’t have a lot of personal stories, the main characters tend to find some kind of personal or emotional connection to the cases they investigate. On CBS, from their best procedurals (like The Good Wife) to the worst (Ghost Whisperer isn’t actually the worst, but it’s close enough), we see this happen. On the pilot of The Good Wife, the main character’s very first case turns out to be someone who was wronged by her [the main character's] husband, and the case itself involves husband/wife issues. And most episodes of Ghost Whisperer seem to have the formula that we’re all used to by now: the lead character is having some kind of problem, the case involves someone who dealt with a similar problem — usually in the wrong way. We’ve seen that on every episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer for starters; we’ve seen it on House; it’s just assumed that an episode will usually have two tracks, the personal and the professional, and the two will overlap, often in very coincidental ways — to the point that it seems like any case you get in your professional life will somehow teach you a lesson about your latest emotional crisis. Even the Law and Order shows, the closest things to pure Dragnet-style procedurals, have enough personal facts sprinkled in so that the characters can, and do, relate certain cases to issues they face in their regular lives.

So the next time you see a plot that goes something like this:

a) I don’t know whether I should get married. I have commitment issues. Oh, well, time to go to work.

b) At work, I am investigating the case of someone who wasn’t sure she should get married, because she had commitment issues, so she killed her fiance instead.

c) I have solved the case of the person who had commitment issues, and in the process, I have learned something about the issues I myself was facing at the beginning of the episode. Thanks, professional life, for helping me learn more about myself!

Repeat as necessary, replacing “commitment issues” and “married” with any other event and issues in whatever combination you like.

B.C. polygamy case dismissed

By macleans.ca - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 8:57 PM - 0 Comments

Despite former B.C. Attorney General Wally Oppal’s best efforts, Winston Blackmore and James Oler won’t face trial on polygamy charges after all. A judge in the province has thrown out the case against Blackmore and Oler, leaders of factions of the Fundamentalist Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints, ruling that Oppal had effectively shopped for a prosecutor before finding one willing to take the case to court. Before appointing special prosecutor Terrence Robertson to try Blackmore and Oler, Oppal had previously hired Richard Peck and Len Doust to argue that Blackmore’s 19 marriages and Oler’s three marriages constitute breaches of Canada’s Criminal Code. When Peck and Doust recommended getting a court ruling on the constitutionality of anti-polygamy laws, Oppal turned to Robertson, who wasn’t as reluctant to take the case to trial. According to B.C. Supreme Court Judge Sunni Stromberg-Stein, Oppal’s prosecutorial trial balloons were “unlawful.”

CBC

Well, that's inconvenient (II)

By Aaron Wherry - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 6:44 PM - 4 Comments

Various jurisdictions have their doubts about the Harper’s government’s environmental agenda.

The numbers won’t add up in the Harper government’s proposed climate-change plan unless it fixes flaws that jeopardize the plan’s credibility, say some of North America’s largest provincial and state governments.

The Western Climate Initiative — a coalition of governments that includes Ontario, Quebec, British Columbia, Manitoba and California — says a draft version of a federal “offsets” system for rewarding green practices must be revised to prevent businesses from profiting from actions that don’t actually reduce the amount of heat-trapping gases in the atmosphere…

The Pembina Institute, an Alberta-based environmental research group, said the proposed system would result in fictional emissions reductions in the same way that lax financial-accounting rules have created fictional profits. ”If the loopholes aren’t closed, actual emissions are likely to be millions of tonnes higher than the nominal level of a future regulated emissions cap,” said Matthew Bramley, director of Pembina’s climate-change policy.

Margaret Atwood didn’t kill me

By Rebecca Eckler - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 6:00 PM - 13 Comments

I’ve achieved literary immortality. Sadly, it had nothing to do with the four books I’ve written or any of my countless newspaper, magazine and blog columns. It was made possible by the woman sitting across from me, sipping an organic soy latte with honey. Margaret Atwood. Or Peggy Atwood. I’m not sure which one I like more. Margaret Atwood is why I wanted to write. I’ve read and reread all her books. I send Peggy emails about boy troubles. “My goodness, why don’t you just send him an email and be done with it?” she’ll write back. Or I’ll tell Peggy I was stung by a bee while pumping gas. Peggy responds with, “Oh dear. Public gas station? It may not have been a bee. Maybe a wasp? There are many kinds. May not have been a honeybee, if bee. Did you keep its tiny corpse?” Peggy will read my palm and always signs her emails with “Xm.” Not exactly the way people might imagine the woman described by many as “among the most brilliant writers of English.”

Two years ago, I bid $7,000 at a charity auction to have my name in Atwood’s next book. (I promised I wouldn’t buy shoes for two years.) Now, the book is out. Called The Year of The Flood, it is by far my favourite of all Atwood’s novels. When I send Atwood an email telling her I’m loving it, she writes back, “Well that’s very nice to hear . . . could NOT be because you’re in it!” All Atwood had told me before I got the book to read was that I “don’t die,” which is “always a good thing.” Continue…

Unilingual Francophones don't speak English. Shocking, but true.

By Philippe Gohier - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 5:40 PM - 38 Comments

The first French-language debate between Montreal Mayor Gérald Tremblay and challenger Louise Harel took place this morning. (According to La Presse‘s preliminary report, it was “very animated”—as all municipal leaders’ debates have been known to be.) There won’t be an English-language sequel, though. Harel announced earlier this week she’d be passing up the opportunity to express herself in la langue de Mordecai for the perfectly ridiculous reason she doesn’t speak it.

Cue the necessary outrage:

“There’s an obligation for the candidates running for mayor to address the different communities that make up Montreal,” said Marvin Rotrand of rival Union Montreal, incumbent Mayor Gérald Tremblay’s party. [...] “This is indicative of an attitude toward anglophones in general – almost as if we’re second-class voters. I mean, she’s written us off, basically.”

And the equally predictable outrage over the outrage (in this case, from the professionally-outraged Richard Martineau):

It’s not up to elected officials nor mayoral candidates to make efforts to be understood by Anglophones: It’s Anglophones who should be integrating into the majority! It’s up to them to get a move on it! The burden of integration is on THEIR SHOULDERS!

All this over a debate that would otherwise have been ignored by the vast majority of Montrealers and amounts to little more than an electoral booby-trap for Harel. Sure, it’d be ideal for Harel to be perfectly bilingual, but she isn’t—and won’t be come November, when Montrealers have to decide whether or not that fact makes her unsuitable for the mayor’s job. In the meantime, the mere option of electing a unilingual Francophone is enough to get everyone competing, once again, to officialize their status as members of “North America’s Most Aggrieved Linguistic Minority.”

It’s a cliché, but plus ça change…

This Seems Like a Useful TV Resource

By Jaime Weinman - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 4:47 PM - 1 Comment

This was done before the Emmys, but I’m only finding it now: Two guys tell us the endings of the most recent seasons for a bunch of nominated shows, along with the series finales for many other shows. Despite some inaccuracies (I noticed some wrong names and incorrect plot details, and I’m sure there are a bunch I didn’t notice), the one-line summaries are useful to drop into a conversation when you need to feign knowledge of how a show ended. Or if you just enjoy spoilers as a general rule, and really, who doesn’t?

[vodpod id=Groupvideo.3478849&w=560&h=340&fv=%26rel%3D0%26border%3D0%26]

Donuts, hockey, tax cuts and Afghanistan

By Aaron Wherry - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 4:36 PM - 86 Comments

Below is a transcript of the Prime Minister’s speech today at the Tim Hortons Innovation Centre in Oakville.

If I ever get round to writing a book about this time in Ottawa, I may very well argue that this, in content, setting and context, is the quintessential speech of Stephen Harper’s premiership. Continue…

How to stage a walkout

By Aaron Wherry - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 3:33 PM - 54 Comments

The CBC’s Margo McDiarmid explains in this clip.

Essentially, our foreign minister, Lawrence Cannon, isn’t actually physically sitting in the general assembly proceedings today because his speech isn’t until Saturday. But just before the Iranian president speaks, Mr. Cannon will walk into the assembly, go to his place in the actual room, and when the president starts to speak, he and the other Canadian delegates will leave.

Harper, Ahmadinejad and the United Nations

By Aaron Wherry - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 2:20 PM - 83 Comments

Using, oddly enough, the same term he employed to question Michael Ignatieff’s decision to wish Brian Mulroney a happy birthday, the Prime Minister explains why no Canadian officials will be in the room when the Iranian president addresses the UN General Assembly.

“It is important that countries that have a moral compass stand up and make their views known. And our absence there will speak volumes about how Canada feels about the declarations of President Ahmadinejad,” Mr. Harper said…

“President Ahmadinejad has said things particularly about the state of Israel, the Jewish people and the Holocaust that are absolutely repugnant. It is unfitting that somebody like that would be giving those kinds of remarks before the United Nations General Assembly,” the Prime Minister said.

“Canada does not want to be equivocal at all in terms of our view on that. We find it disgraceful, unacceptable and we’re going to be absolutely clear on that.”

If, then, Britain and the United States, for instance, fail to walk out this afternoon, do their leaders lack a moral compass? Are they giving Mr. Ahmadinejad legitimacy?

There is, as well, the argument that the Iranian president’s remarks about the Holocaust are an elaborate dodge.

UPDATED! Whose website is it, anyway? ITQ investigates … in realtime (for now).

By kadyomalley - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 1:53 PM - 71 Comments

SCROLL DOWN FOR UPDATE!

Unless you’ve spent the last few days on a self (or otherwise) imposed political news fast, most of y’all have likely been following, with varying degrees of interest, the kerfuffle over the mysteriously disappearing — or, if you buy the official PCO line, the simply-no-longer-appearing — pictures of the prime minister from the Canada Action Plan website.

It all started late last week, when the ever-inquisitive Canadian Press started pestering the government with questions about the millions of dollars being spent to advertise the Action Plan, compared to the millions that weren’t being spent to keep the public informed on swine flu, and why that advertising — and the Action Plan website itself — seemed to be coming perilously close to skirting Treasury Board rules that forbid using taxpayer dollars for partisan campaigns.

Continue…

Men, money and democracy

By Aaron Wherry - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 1:53 PM - 42 Comments

Sheila Gervais argues all sorts of things, some of them no doubt contentious, about women in politics.

Pierre Lortie, realizing that successful jurisdictions with respect to gender balance placed emphasis on inducements to elect more women (as opposed to just nominating them), proposed that in implementing the per-vote subsidy, an increased amount should be provided to each registered party on the basis of the number of women they get elected.

The augmented subsidy would remain until the appropriate threshold (30 per cent to 50 per cent women in Parliament) had been achieved and maintained for a reasonable period of time, say 15 years or four elections. This time would allow deportment in the House to be influenced by a greater gender balance in decision-making, and for the electorate and parties to appreciate the improvements achieved.

Our systems and processes have been designed for a male culture. And what speaks to the men who run our elections? Money. It’s the best incentive there is.

Elephants aren't the only animals who can hear through their feet

By macleans.ca - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 1:50 PM - 1 Comment

After the 2004 Tsunami hit Southeast Asia, it was reported some elephants in Thailand sensed danger beforehand and fled to higher ground: evidence, perhaps, of an ability to detect seismic events before they happen. More than a decade ago, U.S. scientist Caitlin O’Connell-Rodwell observed that elephants in Africa could communicate through the ground: seismic waves would carry their voices across great distances. Since then, she has found the talent is not unique to elephants. In fact, a number of animals, including scorpions, kangaroo rats and golden moles can communicate through seismic waves. According to O’Connell-Rodwell, in the past humans were also likely most attune to vibrations. She says those with impaired hearing have reported that when music is played in a room with a wooden floor, the sensation is akin to “hearing the music through their feet.” As for the ability of elephants to predict earthquakes, she says conclusive evidence is still lacking, but it remains a possibility.

ABC News

Canada boycotts Ahmadinejad

By macleans.ca - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 1:39 PM - 21 Comments

Canadian officials won’t be paying attention to Iranian President Mahmoud Ahmadinejad’s speech today at the United Nations. In fact, they won’t even be in the room. “Canada’s seat at the UN will be vacant during the Iranian president’s speech,” said Catherine Loubier, a spokeswoman for Foreign Affairs Minister Lawrence Cannon. The Canadian boycott of Ahmadinejad has its roots in what Loubier called Iran’s “hostile views” toward Israel and its shoddy human rights record.

The Canadian Press

Well, that's inconvenient

By Aaron Wherry - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 12:11 PM - 42 Comments

Globe and Mail, yesterday. Environment Minister Jim Prentice is playing down the climate-change pledges made Tuesday by Chinese President Hu Jintao at the United Nations, saying Beijing has yet to commit to clear targets for reducing greenhouse gas emissions.

Globe and Mail, today. A major prong of Canada’s climate change plan is so flawed that to pursue it now – with neither the proper science nor proper laws in place – would be “sheer folly,” concludes a new report. The risks of building a system to capture and store carbon dioxide underground include arsenic leaching into groundwater, unforeseen leaks, cross-border disputes and spiralling costs, according to a paper that will be released by the Munk Centre for International Studies Wednesday.

No rain on this parade

By macleans.ca - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 12:11 PM - 2 Comments

In the West, “raining on someone’s parade” is just an expression. In China, it’s a serious concern for the government. Worried that the weather might not cooperate for the 60th anniversary of the revolution, Beijing plans to make it cooperate, dispatching 18 aircraft to chemically dissipate clouds over the capital and 48 “fog-dispersal vehicles” around the city. All this to ensure the military fly-overs go off without a hitch. Meantime, the government has told ordinary folk to stay home from the big parade to Tiananmen Square, which is an invitation-only event for dignitaries, big-wigs and assorted Party loyalists. Regular folk will have to content themselves watching the passing warplanes, or failing that, the cloud killers.

The Vancouver Sun

The two-faced informant

By macleans.ca - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 12:10 PM - 1 Comment

For months, the FBI and the New York police department had been keeping a close eye on 24-year-old Najibullah Zazi, a Denver man suspected of hatching a bomb plot on U.S. soil. As part of their investigation, detectives enlisted the help of Ahmad Wais Afzali, a Queens imam who knew Zazi. But hours after being interviewed, the so-called informant allegedly turned around and phoned Zazi, warning him that the cops were watching. The betrayal forced authorities to launch a series of raids and arrest a handful of suspects earlier than planned. Federal prosecutors have now charged Afzali with lying to the FBI.

The New York Times

You can't camp here, Gaddafi

By macleans.ca - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 11:05 AM - 4 Comments

Muammar Gaddafi, who is in New York to address a meeting of the UN general assembly, just can’t find a place to settle down. He tried to pitch his large Bedouin tent, which he often uses while traveling, in New Jersey and Central Park and was refused both times. Now, the town of Bedford, NY, located 45 miles north of Manhattan, has ordered construction of a tent there to halt because it’s being built in a no camping zone. “There is no such thing as diplomatic immunity when it comes to complying with local laws and ordinances,” Joel Sachs, an attorney for the town told the Guardian. “This is a private piece of property and they have to comply with the laws of this municipality.”

The Guardian

Everything a minister needs to know about Cuba, NATO and Pamela Anderson

By Aaron Wherry - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 10:49 AM - 14 Comments

Still more on what precisely was in Maxime Bernier’s misplaced binder.

Given the importance of the topic during the Bucharest summit, it should come as no surprise that many of the briefing notes dealt with extending membership to Ukraine, Georgia, Croatia, Albania, Macedonia and even Bosnia-Herzegovina.

The government’s strong support for Ukrainian membership is reiterated several times…

Canadian views on Georgia’s hopes to join the alliance, however, were markedly less effusive. While generally supportive, and noting high public support within Georgia for NATO accession, the briefing notes raised some concerns.

Sorry, Georgia.

Slowing down skin cancer

By macleans.ca - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 10:29 AM - 1 Comment

An experimental drug can shrink skin cancer tumours, according to early stage trials of the new treatment. U.S. researchers call this “unprecedented.” Within two weeks of receiving the drug, 31 patients whose skin cancer had travelled throughout their body, saw their tumours shrink. The drug is called PLX4032, and it acts by blocking the gene BRAF that causes skin cancer to spread. This follows a recent trend in cancer research, where blocking gene activity via medication has been helpful in treating myloid leukaemia and gastric cancer. Not only is the speedy shrinkage exciting, but so is the fact that 70 per cent of patients who have been given the drug have responded well. Other cancer treatments, including chemotherapy, do not always work. The research is being presented at cancer conference in Berlin. The researchers stress that while this is not a cure, it should improve the quality of life of skin cancer patients and slow their deterioration.

BBC News

Russian billionaire puts anti-photo shield on yacht

By macleans.ca - Wednesday, September 23, 2009 at 10:04 AM - 3 Comments

With its two helipads, two swimming pools, and six-foot movie screens in each guest cabin—along with a mini-submarine, and missile-proof windows to foil pirates—Russian billionaire Roman Abramovich’s oversized yacht is a sight to be hold. But that’s not all. The 557-foot boat Eclipse, worth almost $1.2 billion, also features an anti-paparazzi shield. Lasers sweep the surroundings, firing bolts of light at cameras to obliterate photographs. They don’t always have the lasers on, Wired reports, so friends can still photograph the yacht; but they’re activated when professional photographers are spotted nearby. One London lawyer suggested this might not be legal: “Intermeddling with goods belonging to someone else, or altering their condition, is a trespass to goods and will entitle the photographer to claim compensation without having to prove loss,” he said.

Wired