Theo Fleury was abused: "An absolute nightmare, every day of my life"

MACLEAN’S EXCLUSIVE: Harrowing details from his new book and interview with the retired NHL star

by Charlie Gillis on Friday, October 9, 2009 11:28am - 110 Comments

He also got deeply into gambling during that period. Between casinos and strip clubs—where he would drop thousands in a night on drinks and lap dances—he figures he burned through almost all of the US$50 million he was paid during his time in the NHL.

The details of this period reflect well on neither Fleury nor the NHL. By his own admission, he gave 13 dirty urine samples in a row to the NHL testers, yet was allowed to keep playing. The league finally forced him into treatment in the summer of 2001, which allowed him to compete in the 2002 Winter Games, where the Canadian men’s hockey team won a gold medal. But he soon relapsed, leaving the league for good the following year. His rock-bottom moment came in September 2005, while he played in the Allan Cup senior hockey tournament in Lloydminster, Alta. His parents had come to watch him, and after his team got knocked out of the playoff round, he got drunk and poured out his anger to his parents for leaving him with James. It was the first time, he tells Maclean’s, the family had confronted the issue directly, and his mother and father wept, telling him they were sorry. “It was important to hear that word from them,” he says in an interview. “From that day forward, I’ve been able to move on with that part of my life—the stuff with my parents.” Since then, he says, he has been clean and sober, supported by his wife Jennifer, who he was dating when he played in the Allan Cup.

It is a calmer, stabler Fleury who looks back on that period now, and after a walk-on tryout last month with his old team, the Calgary Flames, he’s made his peace with leaving the game. He has written the book, he says, in hopes of convincing any young person suffering sexual abuse to seek help. “One thing I’ve come to realize is that, without Graham James I still would have had the same career,” he tells Maclean’s. “I look back on the way I played the game, and to be honest, there were not a lot of guys as naturally talented as I was. Add in my fierce, competitive edge and all those little intangibles—that’s what made me great. It was all part of me before I met Graham James.”

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  • WILKY NANAIMO B.C.

    I was also abused by a coach ages 11 to 12 he did the same things sleep overs movies skiing he was like a dad as mine was not around much the first time i was invited to stay i wondered why others all ran to other rooms that night and more later i begam a victim and an addict and confused sexually I am a member of a step program which helps my addictions but how do you really get over or deal with the sexual abuse i look foreword to reading your book!U R LOOKIN GREAT!!!!!!!!

  • http://dalecurd.com Dale Curd

    I want to acknowledge Theo Fleury for taking a fearless, moral inventory of himself and for exposing his abuser Graham James. Boys who are abused suffer in a silence that is molded out of shame and fear. So to find the courage to speak out is nothing short of monumental. With 1 out of every 4 or 6 men, on average in Canada being the victim of sexual abuse when they were boys – there are many, many more of us out there who need to talk about this and get support for what we are feeling.
    Guys like Sheldon Kennedy and Theo Fleury make it okay for more men to share what has happened. An the more we talk about it and share – the less likely that these same abuses will happen to our sons. I know, I've been abused as a boy and I now counsel men who are looking to put their lives back together after the damaging impact of the sexual abuse they suffered as boys.
    Way to go Theo!

  • ALLI

    I will never let anyone touch my children. I will never ignore or turn a blind eye because I am not certain of the outcome. Children's minds are so fragile, and for someone you trust as an adult to lead you – betrays you – that can haunt and ruin your entire life. I know, and I will never, ever let it happen. I will be there at every moment, watching, ensuring that they are safe. I'm not blaming your parents Theo, I think they had their own problems – and back then, I think life was a little different. It's only that you and your family have to be the ones to suffer so that we could all learn – and I am sorry that you have to be the one. I will take a page from Theo's book as a parent and play an absolutely vigilant role in my children's lives as their protector.

  • victoria

    Go get that jerk Graham and make him pay big time. There is always someone for him to pray on as long as he is free!!

  • http://www.spyimplants.webs.com don muntean

    I'm glad that Theo Fleury is healing now…

    I too have been suffering with such an abuse – in 1982 – just three months after I turned 15 – I was molested [over the course of 2 months] by a moose Jaw city police officer and what did the Sask In-justice department charge him with? Contributing to juvenile delinquency! Yup I had to go through the original abuse and later the abuse by the system. At least the Moose Jaw police service fired him and – he never got his job back. I hope he rots in hell one day. I have been permanently marred by this abuse.

  • james

    mr fleury,youre stiry inspired me to come out with some abuse that I have suffered bye a family member who now is dead,I'm 36 years of age soon to be 37 and my life isnt getting any easier,I dont know what to do I live in edmonton I'm from nova scotia I was abused again last year while serving remand time for a crime that I did not committ I was found not guilty and suffered abuse while I was in there and nobody seems to care what has happened to me I have a son who is just turned 2 and his mother accused me of rapping her and I was found not guilty in court for this while I was in jail waiting for my trial is when I suffered more sexuall abuse and I have brought it to the attention of authourities and nobody cares I dont know if youre going to see this message but if you do and you could help me in anyway at all it would be greatly appreciated

  • Erika

    I admire your courage in speaking openly about the molestation, mental and physical abuse that you suffered from this man who was entrusted with so much power and influence over your life. How truly awful that the NHL closed it eyes to such atrocities. Praying that you find peace and happiness and satisfaction from knowing that your story will have a tremendous impact on how officials in the world of sports respond to children who suffer the same abuse in the future. Thank you for your story, and for saving other children from the same abuses that you suffered. Your story will help to open peoples eyes to other child predators preying on the trust of parents and children. Wishing you all the best. God Bless you.

  • Karen

    You and Sheldon Kennedy have been through HELL. It takes a villiage to raise a child. I know the people in the world of sports know what is going on and they don't do anything about it because they have their own interest at heart. Parents who abuse their children and allow their children to be abused have their own interest at heart. Parents, coaches and the people in the world of sports need to be made accountable for their actions. Children who have been abused need to talk to someone at the Rape Crisis Centre or a community centre like Cups.

  • http://www.usamovingandstorage.com/ Chicago mover

    I think the contribution of Theo Fleury is very much higher in each and every match. Amazing player to watch…

  • Ray Auclair

    Hi Theo I was always a fan of yours and became a fan of Sheldon Kennedy also after he came forward.Well thanks to you guys I am seeking help now. 44 years ago I was abused for only a six week period and even once is too much however I am getting help now I can talk about it and stopped blaming myself.However the man that abused me is now dead but he abused many after me and that is what I am dealing with the fact I didn't come out sooner about what that man did to me when I was 13 years old.I will be working with VCARS in my home town Timmins Ontario when I am ready.

  • Aaron

    congratulations theorn, It takes a lot to finally confront people like this especially after so long. i wish you the best.

  • ajsmacdonald

    Theo. I know you probably wont ever read this but I fee it important to tell you that you are not alone.I was sexually assaulted by my older brother.My sister, I come to find out was abused as well by the same person.The difference was, I spoke out to my parents immediately while she was more reluctant to speak up.She hated me for years because she was so ashamed of not coming forward sooner. She resented me deeply.Our relationship was one of anger, resentment and bitterness.It's only as adults that we've been able to talk about it.
    I'm not going to lie to you. I still am deeply hurt by her shabby treatment as a younger sister, no matter what the circumstance. But I have to try to not only understand her view but also find it within myself to forgive my brother who has never done anything to reconcile his damage.
    I do understand you Theo. I know the shame and lasting damage it can do to your soul. My first marriage ended because I had a very difficult time with my own sexuality as a result.

  • ajsmacdonald

    I wanted to tell you that I am trying my best not to let it own me. My sister and I are very different people and I guess there will always be things I don't understand about her. I will never understand why he did what he did.I admire how you stood up to be counted and stopped the cycle. Like I said to my sister who lamented over leaving it secret for so long….you're here now. You've told the truth and now it's in our rear view mirror.
    Take good care Theo.
    All the best
    ajs macdonald

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    This is wonder full Article and surely it makes realize each and everyone who read this. Thanks for providing so fantastic and sweet suggestions ….i really appreciate it.

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  • jackwilliamss

    Good luck Theo, This is a nice article and i hope for everything will be OK now

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  • ben

    theo your a beauty and im doing an essay on you i could use a hand. but im sure your extremley busy.

  • Bohn

    Canadian Laws are based in the Babylonian Talmud that condones the abuse of children.  Our laws are unlawful and Judges are for the most part unethical, inhuman themselves working for the same puppet-masters that follow this evil book.  Look into the Franklin scandal where you can see how Bush Sr. was a regular pedophile customer.  All these crimes are being committed with the knowledge of the Talmudic Khazarian International bankers such as Rothschild, Rockefeller and the rest of their monstrous criminals, such as the Queen of England and the Vatican. 
    Remember what they did to the aboriginal children and still continue to do.  Many were murdered and buried in secret in the grounds of churches and residential schools.

    If you read the Babylonian Talmud you will be disgusted with the filth of what the Pharisees wrote in this Satanic book, for instance that it is alright to have sex with animals, dead bodies and children. These Pharasies were able to deceive the Hebrews of old and eliminate the other religious groups such as the Essenes, and centralize their Satanic religion making it the only one in order to brainwash the ordinary people who were kept ignorant so that they would be easily manipulated.
    Didn’t Christ called them ” blind guides” and that ”…you are of your father, the Devil”?
    They abuse their own children not just the gentiles for Vicky Polin went on Oprah to expose that her own parents engaged in Satanic ritualistic practices.  In the Talmud there is the blood ritual where children, preferably, of seven years old are sacrificed to Baal-Lucifer. They drink their blood and some eat their flesh. 

    Dr. Joy Silberg also discovered that this is increasing and being encouraged by the powers-that-be. 

  • http://pulse.yahoo.com/_472LUSCITSKT6ZPJNNP5WIUAHY Ryan

    What a great story, I’m doing an assignment on you Theo. 

  • rosanne keen

    Only a mind as sick as the pedophile Graham James could write such rubbish…what does it do for you to make such a pathetic statement…grow up…if you had suffered the abuse that these men had endured…you could never say such immature and cruel things…watch the fifth estate tonight…and if you have an ounce of human decency…you will weep…shame on you.

From Macleans