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Fatherly Advice

According to Valerie Bertinell, before Eddie Van Halen took their son Wolfgang out on…

by Andrew Potter on Friday, October 16, 2009 10:54am - 12 Comments

According to Valerie Bertinell, before Eddie Van Halen took their son Wolfgang out on tour, he did his best Polonius-to-Laertes impression:

“But he did say a lot of the same things that I thought. He said, ‘Be careful with your heart. When you do give it away have patience and kindness… and be careful of the skanks and w**res; they’re gonna want you because you’re in Van Halen!’ That’s it. He’s a really terrific dad, he really is.”

Be careful with your heart. Be careful of the skanks. That’s lyrics, dude.

UPDATE: Oh, what the heck, it’s Friday:

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  • http://intensedebate.com/people/jolyon jolyon

    "and be careful of the skanks and w**res"

    That's terrible advice for a budding rock star. "skanks and w**res" is exactly what Wolfgang will be hoping to come across on tour.

    How can Wolfgang be the Ice Cream Man if he is avoiding all the ladies?

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/john_g2708 john g

    Because if he's not careful with his Eruptions, The Cradle Will Rock.

  • GCM

    Why can you say "skanks" but not "whores?"

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/KadyITQ KadyITQ

    As far as I can tell, he's still free to mingle with strumpets, harlots and slatterns, so he should be fine.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/jandrewpotter andrew potter

    I just cutted-and-pasted from the Canoe website. Weird bit of prudishness, I agree.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/jandrewpotter andrew potter

    well played.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/jolyon jolyon

    That literally made me laugh out loud. Here's to swimming with bow-legged women.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/jolyon jolyon

    Hot For Teacher video brings back memories. When the video was released I was in Grade 7 and I really hoped my french teacher, mlle Currier, would be inspired by video.

  • TedTylerEzro

    I wasn't even born yet in 1984 old man.

    Down with the elderly, enfeebled and withered Gen-Xer's!

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/SamDavies SamDavies

    Comic Gold!!!!

  • http://www.intensedebate.com/people/VinceClortho VinceClortho

    Eddie Van Halen, the Alan Alda of Guitar Gods.

    Such a weird quote, it veers between a Phil Collins and Guns and Roses lyric.

    Anyway, did he tell him to wear a condom?

  • http://azmattressoutlet.com mesa mattress

    hot for teacher is responsible for the spread of STDs all over the world…not a great lasting legacy i would wish on any rock band.

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