This highly incriminating cut on my left middle finger? Bit by Godzilla. – O.J. Simpson
When I claimed Jews were responsible for all the world’s wars, I was merely acting “in character” as research for my next movie, Dr. Aryan’s Wondrous Anti-Semitiquarium. – Mel Gibson
It was my understanding that across much of the American south, “hiking the Appalachian trail” is a well-known euphemism for “doing that Argentine chick.” – Gov. Mark Sanford
This transvestite, officer? This one here in the passenger seat of my car? It comes standard on this particular model of Toyota Land Cruiser. – Eddie Murphy
Damn mosquito just kept landing on different parts of her face. – Chris Brown
I thought our ages just had to average out to 18. – Roman Polanski
I chose Sarah Palin as my vice-presidential nominee because she was the best available candidate. – John McCain
