For Generation Text, books are so five minutes ago

By macleans.ca - Tuesday, February 16, 2010 at 11:43 AM - 3 Comments

Finally, a study has quantified a concern that parents and educators have often voiced: today’s kids are more likely to surf the web than pick up a novel. The findings on the literary shortcomings of Generation Text came from Britain’s National Literacy Trust, which examined the reading habits of kids aged nine to 14. The NLT found that less that only 42 per cent of boys and 48 per cent of girls read fiction more than once a month. But when it comes to “virtual reading,” the number is much higher, with nearly 60 per cent of boys and girls reading websites more than once a month, 45 per cent of boys and 59 per cent of girls reading emails, and 43 per cent of boys and 55 per cent of girls reading social networking sites in that time period. Magazines were also more popular than novels, which came in fifth place overall. Experts point to these reading habits as potentially detrimental to kids’ ability to concentrate and study.

The Telegraph

Hand sanitizer mixology: just add salt

By macleans.ca - Tuesday, February 16, 2010 at 11:26 AM - 5 Comments

Winnipeg police are dealing with reports of hand sanitizer abuse, and finding sites where addicts congregate littered with sanitizer debris. Shelter workers in the city have confiscated sanitizer bottles and stopped leaving salt out on dining tables. The connection: adding salt to the sanitizer separates out the pure alcohol. Non-alcoholic sanitizer is now being stocked at one shelter. The problem has spread since the outbreak of H1N1 flu last spring prompted wider distribution of sanitizers. News last year that health officials were concerned about distributing the product to First Nations communities where alcoholism is a major problem prompted outrage, but it now appears the fear might have been at least in part justified.

Winnipeg Free Press

Warning: ‘May be extremely calming’

By Kate Lunau - Tuesday, February 16, 2010 at 10:19 AM - 7 Comments

At the end of a hectic day, people in need of some relaxation might curl up with a good book, listen to soft music, or maybe stretch out in a yoga class. For those in search of “extreme relaxation,” though, there is Drank, an “extreme relaxation beverage” on sale in the U.S. and about to come to Canada. Just as time-strapped individuals might chug coffee or Red Bull to stay alert, those seeking the opposite effect should take note: calm now comes in a can.

A fizzy, berry-and-lavender-flavoured concoction, Drank promises to “slow your roll.” To accomplish this, it contains a “calming blend” of melatonin, rosehips and valerian, supplements meant to fight anxiety and promote restfulness. (“Warning! This beverage may be extremely relaxing and calming,” the website cautions.) According to a food blogger at About.com, it really does the job: “Not long after I had my can, I noticed a pretty strong desire to go take a nap,” the reviewer writes. “It really did mellow me out.” The flavour of Drank got top marks, too, though it tasted surprisingly sweet, quite a lot like an energy drink.

Peter Bianchi, the Houston-based CEO of Innovative Beverage Group and Drank’s creator, compares indulging in a can to “putting your feet up in a recliner on a cold winter day.” Available in the U.S. for over a year, Drank’s popularity has exploded, Bianchi says, adding that it’s coming to Canada because “consumers have been screaming for it.” (They’re in need of some extreme relaxation, by the sounds of it.)

Continue…

Lonely while surrounded by friends

By Anne Kingston - Tuesday, February 16, 2010 at 10:19 AM - 30 Comments

In her new, groundbreaking book, Emily White makes a startlingly brave confession: for a long stretch of her 30s she was acutely lonely, at a painful disconnect from the world around her. What will be just as surprising to many, the 39-year-old environmental lawyer doesn’t fit any of the pathetic, predatory or pathological lonely-gal stereotypes perpetrated in pop culture: she was a popular kid, her job was engaging and she had a network of caring friends and family. She was so high-functioning, in fact, that she created “another me,” a faux busy, social being to mask her malaise. Lonely: Learning to Live With Solitude chronicles White’s five-year journey that saw loneliness become her constant companion: “If it was clutching me, the least I could do was twist its grip and really look at it,” she writes.

Continue…

For parents with disorganized sons

By Julia McKinnell - Tuesday, February 16, 2010 at 10:18 AM - 1 Comment

A former banker turned educational consultant describes a typical scene at her office. A brilliant, thoughtful boy enters the room with a parent in tears. The boy is failing school. The parent is at their wits’ end. “If you’re one of these troubled parents,” writes Ana Homayoun in a new book, That Crumpled Paper Was Due Last Week: Helping Disorganized and Distracted Boys Succeed in School and Life, “you know that today’s academic environment is exponentially more challenging than the one in which you grew up—and in ways that tend to be more difficult for boys than girls.” While, she adds, the research indicates “that boys often struggle with certain types of multi-tasking, schools often ask them to juggle seven different classes, multiple sports and activities, all while they are going through puberty. Too often the result is frustration, fights, and, sadly, a bright boy convinced he can’t succeed.”

Continue…

"Death to dictatorship"

By Michael Petrou - Tuesday, February 16, 2010 at 9:31 AM - 6 Comments

The Iran Human Rights Documentation Center has published a comprehensive report on Iran’s rigged presidential election and the violent suppression of dissent in its aftermath.

Olympic Caption Challenge: Vote Now!

By Scott Feschuk - Tuesday, February 16, 2010 at 9:14 AM - 9 Comments

UPDATE: And the winner, by a narrow margin over Sean, is Mike T. Congrats, Mike: Now please email me your address at sfeschuk@sympatico.ca so I can send you your Olympics-themed prize. And do it quickly: despite the air holes, Juan Antonio Samaranch seems a little uncomfortable in his cardboard box.

•

Because I’m caught up in the spirit of the Olympics (translation: way hungover), I’m placing seven entries into the finals — with a nice, even split between saucy entries with sexual connotations and other entries I barely care about because of the lack of sexual connotations.

Vote for your favourite in the poll area below. The finalist leading in the vote as of 8 o’clock ET Wednesday morning will receive by mail a Continue…

The Death of Serials, Redux

By Jaime Weinman - Tuesday, February 16, 2010 at 8:07 AM - 6 Comments

The recent talk of “The death of serials,” which I’ve touched on before, mostly means “The death of Lost ripoffs.” The latest round involves noticing that serials are doing all right on cable, though not on broadcast networks. To some extent it also means an increased awareness that the “pure” serial format doesn’t really work in the network TV model. Network shows have 22 episodes a season, and even that is arguably less than they really need. (If they could figure out a way to have the same quality while spending no more money than they do now, I’m sure they’d be happy to go back to 30+ episodes a season: it would be great to have a full season with no repeats, if only it were feasible with modern budgets and production standards.) Serials are doing well on cable, where the seasons are short. Not only are they short, but they can be produced as a unit: when the season is only 13 episodes, you may shoot all 13 before any of them air. In network TV, you may also shoot 13 episodes as a block — but you want to be picked up for another 9 episodes to be aired as part of the same season.

The 13-episode, single-unit season is very well suited to the serial format, which I might describe as “concentrated soap opera.” There’s an ongoing story, and the episodes are not self-contained, but unlike a soap opera, which just wants to go on and on for as long as possible, the serial is usually working within a smaller unit: the season. The season is meant to give a satisfying conclusion to the story the show has been telling for the last few months, without wrapping  things up so completely that we won’t want to come back again.

In other words, the way a 13-episode serial season is planned out is almost the way an episode is planned out. You can think of the individual episodes as individual beats or set pieces within an episode.

That works for a 13 (or 10) episode show for several reasons: the short season doesn’t dilute the story and force the creation of extra episodes that don’t relate to the main plot. The money is usually going to be spent for the full season anyway, so the writers don’t have to worry that they won’t be able to end the story they’re creating. And above all, there’s no “back nine”: the season is one unit, whereas in network television it is at least two. You can’t do Damages on network television because you can’t plan out a 22-episode season as one unbroken story.

You can do 24 on a network, yes. But 24 is really more like a regular soap opera: while there is an idea of how the story will end, its main purpose is to keep us in suspense until the story is over, and each scene is a buildup to the one that follows it. That means the writers can take stuff out and put stuff in depending on what seems to be working; the plan for the season can be looser than the short-season serials. And the writers can get away with throwing in almost anything that seems to work, as long as they make some effort to connect it to what’s happened before this season.

What they can’t usually do is decide in advance that the theme is as follows, and that the character will change in certain ways that have been decided on in advance. The need to make a long season, and to adjust to audience and network response as the season is going on, makes that very difficult.

So what does that mean? I don’t think it means that networks are going to start making 13-episode seasons. I sure hope it doesn’t; as I said, even 22 isn’t enough sometimes. And Tim Kring, the poster boy for showrunners who have only 13 episodes’ worth of good ideas, sounds a little whiny when he wishes Heroes had been able to do short seasons: I’m sure he’d also like an unlimited budget and a pony, but that’s not going to happen either. Most shows aren’t going to get away with the Lost method of almost converting themselves into cable shows (doing shorter seasons and giving themselves less pressure to change things while the seasons are going on), because most shows aren’t Lost.

What it comes back to is that the network television show usually can’t — not always, just usually — do seasons that are thematically and stylistically consistent; they can’t plant an idea in episode 1 and follow it all the way to the end of the season. Their seasons are not only longer, but looser and more digressive. None of this means that shows can’t tell ongoing stories. Though it does mean, as I said in an earlier post, that they’re better off not planning to be heavily serialized, to just let it happen naturally if that’s what turns out to be right. (Even episodic shows today are serials by the standards of the pure standalone shows of another era. So when a show becomes a true serial, it can happen almost imperceptibly; most network serials could have been episodic shows if they’d developed a bit differently from their early episodes.) It means that a network TV season rarely has a truly unified style. It is what it needs to be to get the full 22 episodes.

And that’s fine; in fact, it’s potentially great. Loose, rambling, digressive works are some of my favourite novels and movies, and sometimes they’re better and more rewarding than the works that are purer. Some of the best network shows that embrace the looseness of the format, and admit that the most memorable moments can be the ones that don’t fit into an overall plan. (The stand-alone episodes on a show like The X-Files were often better than the “mytharc” episodes, and they also enriched the show as a whole and made the mythology more interesting.) It can be tricky, because fans of network serials sometimes want to treat them as if they are pure serials where every development fits into a grand plan, and will sometimes dismiss any digressions as “filler.” But think of the 22-episode serial as something like a picaresque novel, which will incorporate separate vignettes and even separate stories with new characters (like those stories scattered throughout Dickens’ The Pickwick Papers). There’s a beginning, there’s an ending, the stuff that happens in the middle is related to both the beginning and the ending. But getting there is, as they say, half the fun.

Wayne Gretzky: the wrong man

By Colby Cosh - Tuesday, February 16, 2010 at 2:42 AM - 74 Comments

Sorry, but the more I think about this the more exasperated I get. Did we have a better choice for lighting the Olympic flame than Wayne Gretzky? Well, what if there was a guy who:

a) had a record of winning amateur AND professional championships in hockey that puts Gretzky’s to shame;

b) wore Canadian colours in the Olympics, twice, at a huge, precisely quantifiable personal cost, for no better reason than that he believed in what were then regarded as “Olympic ideals”;

c) transferred those ideals to his children so convincingly that two of them are competing at these games;

and d) obtained a medical degree before having a successful sports career at the highest professional level—an accomplishment that those of us who witnessed the often-thorny details must still be tempted to describe as impossible?

The horrible truth is, there can’t possibly be any argument about this, can there? Without any question, we just plain got it wrong—even from the mercenary standpoint of TV storytelling. And to what end did we coax a bored Gretzky into the back of that ridiculous truck? Does it bother us to imagine him going to bed at night having let one honour elude him? Who do you really want your children to be like—Gretzky, or Dr. Gregg? Who do we have more, ourselves, to learn from? Who’s the superior patriot? Hell, having seen Randy Gregg skate, I’m not even sure of the answer to “Which of the two extracted the most from his innate talent?”

And that's the kind of 58 years it's been

By Andrew Coyne - Tuesday, February 16, 2010 at 12:40 AM - 23 Comments

Big news — maybe. Former TV producer Howard Bernstein (via @DavidAkin) with a “very trustworthy rumour” — Lloyd Robertson is stepping down after the Olympics.

It seems the CTV Olympic coverage has resulted in a major casualty for the network. Lloyd Robertson has gone to CTV brass and told them the workload is too onerous…

I am told he has called for a meeting with the CTV bosses that will take place on March 3rd. At this meeting he is expected to resign his post as the CTV News anchor.

CTV is preparing for the loss of “Canada’s most trusted news anchor.” Insiders say the network will replace Lloyd with a two-person desk. It seems they cannot make up their minds as to whether Tom Clark or Lisa Laflamme should be Lloyd’s replacement. So the two will share Lloyd’s duties for the foreseeable future. The way it was described to me it will be a sort of contest. The news reader that the audience responds to will eventually take over the sole anchor position, the loser will go back to reporting.

A two-person elimination challenge? Co-anchors exchanging on-screen happy talk while in simultaneous death match? Yeah, that’ll work swell.

UPDATE: As you were. Lloyd tells CKNW‘s Bill Good it’s all a false alarm. Calls the rumour a “work of fiction.”

Olympic photos: Monday, February 15th, 2010

By macleans.ca - Monday, February 15, 2010 at 11:57 PM - 0 Comments

Skate equity

By Andrew Coyne - Monday, February 15, 2010 at 11:39 PM - 18 Comments

Pairs figure skating (and its close cousin, ice dancing) really is unique among  sports. In most, men and women take part in separate competitions, usually of necessity. Very rarely, as in the equestrian events, they compete against each other directly, or, as in mixed doubles tennis, side by side.

But only in figure-skating do they fuse into a single entity: every moment of the performance is a collaborative effort. Their roles are different, but complementary — and equally important. That must account for its popularity. There’s a moment just before they start their routine, when the two skaters look at each other: invariably they grin, as if sharing a private joke. It’s like watching a Hepburn-Tracy movie, an idealized vision of relations between the sexes.

The Ice-Resurfacing Follies

By Scott Feschuk - Monday, February 15, 2010 at 11:23 PM - 8 Comments

The Aussies are mad at us for winning gold in men’s moguls. They say the judges gave unfairly high marks to Alexandre Bilodeau. Skiers are mad at us about the cross-country course. They say it has too many turns and hills and whatever. And everyone is mad at us for the Muppet movie unfolding down at the speedskating oval, where competition has been marred by resurfacing delays and inconsistencies.

At the Whistler Media Centre, there are high-def TVs providing live feeds from all the competition venues here and in Vancouver. There’s no sound – just the images. I sat down to watch a little bit of the men’s 500-metre sprint, and instead I got a weird silent movie entitled Let Us Now Point at the Ice and Shake Our Heads in Dismay.

4:45 p.m. PT A coach from the Netherlands is gesturing at the ice. He looks angry. He theatrically musses his long floppy hair. His hair looks even angrier.

4:46 Closeup on the ice. It looks as smooth as Ray Liotta’s face.

4:47 Someone pulls out a walkie-talkie. This is getting serious.

4:49 Uh oh. Up until now it’s been team officials and Continue…

Canadian men's team takes shape at first practice

By Charlie Gillis - Monday, February 15, 2010 at 10:44 PM - 1 Comment

There is a crackle in the air—and it’s not just the malfunctioning electrical system at Canada Hockey Place.

Mike Babcock and his assistants ran the Canada’s star-studded men’s team through their first, brisk practice at the building Canuck fans know as GM Place, trying out lines and penalty-kill and power-play units in preparation for tomorrow night’s Olympic opener against Norway (luckily, an electrical glitch that causes lights to go on and off is restricted to non-essential areas of the inner concourse; like where the media works).

The big winner so far? Patrice Bergeron, the 24-year-old centre from the Boston Bruins, who found himself on a line with Sidney Crosby and Rick Nash, rounding out what will surely be one of the top lines in the tournament. Here’s a guy who wasn’t even invited to the orientation camp last summer. Who has missed 80 regular season games in the past two seasons due to injuries, including a nasty concussion. Who in large measure has flown under the media radar despite his star-status back home in Quebec.

Now he’s paired with arguably the best, and certainly the most complete, hockey player in the world in Crosby.

Continue…

28-1: The Canadian women's hockey team annihilates the competition

By Nancy Macdonald - Monday, February 15, 2010 at 10:17 PM - 35 Comments

As she stepped onto the ice at UBC Thunderbird arena tonight, one Swiss player made the sign of the cross. No doubt, it was for luck—athletes are notoriously superstitious—but in the wake of Canada’s historic 18-0 slaughter of Slovakia yesterday, it took on a special significance.

In the end, Canada railroaded the Swiss: a 10-1 triumph which gives them a pass to the semi-finals, Feb 22, at Canada Hockey Place (first, they’ll play a final preliminary round game against Sweden, Feb. 17).

Over the past two days, both Canada, and Team USA—which, yesterday at Thunderbird arena, creamed China 12-0—have fielded hundreds of questions about mercy, class, and even whether women’s hockey should remain an Olympic sport.

Coach Mel Davidson came on strong after the game today, telling reporters that her team had been called both “classless,” and “disrespectful,” adding that it’s “definitely hard” on her players, who have heard about it in the media. “They care about the game, and what Canada and the world thinks about them,” she said.

Davidson says she routinely sees routs in lower-level men’s games without hearing any complaints. At the World Junior Hockey Championship in Saskatchewan over Christmas, for example, Canada beat Latvia 16-0. Team USA defeated the same team 12-1. In its first three games there, Canada outscored the opposition 30-2. “Seems like there’s a lot more patience on one side of the puck,” says Davidson.

Still, after the U.S.’s lopsided win over China, several U.S. players were asked whether women’s hockey should remain an Olympic sport at all. Team USA captain Natalie Darwitz called it “a delicate topic,” and said “there very well could be” a risk of losing women’s hockey in the Olympics. “It would be very unfortunate,” said Darwitz, a forward. “This is all we have. This is our NHL, this is our Stanley Cup playoffs—two weeks of us getting attention.”

“Just give us some time,” added U.S. veteran Angela Ruggiero. “You can’t expect whole nations to adopt a sport over night.” She noted the U.S. had just 5,000 registered women’s hockey players in 1990, and has 60,000 today. Other countries could see a similar leap if national federations continue to support the sport. (China, with more than 650 million women, has fewer than 500 registered female hockey players; Slovakia has fewer than 300.)

“Hopefully, there can be other countries that understand they have to put resources in their programs, said Canada’s Caroline Ouelette.

“We have a $250,000 budget—Canada has $3.5-million,” Swiss captain Kathrin Lehmann told Maclean’s after the game. Canada has “80,000 skaters—we have 800.”

Chinese coach Hanna Saintula, a Finn who communicates with his Chinese players in what he calls “basic hockey English,” said he figures it will take at least two years for China to compete against the U.S. and two-time gold-medalist, Canada, which, in Olympic play so far, has an aggregate score of 127-19.

So why do Canada and the U.S. keep running up the score? “The goal differential is secondary,” says Davidson. “It’s more about playing your best. We didn’t come here to put on a second-class show. We came to win five hockey games.”

“These games are prepping us to play a full 60 minutes,” added Canada’s Cherie Piper. “You can’t take these games for granted.”

Fast race, slow machines: Correction

By Jonathon Gatehouse - Monday, February 15, 2010 at 8:45 PM - 3 Comments

[Correction: The Olympia machines, which seem to be working fine today, are built by Resurfice Corp. of Elmira, Ont. Their standard machine are built on a GM truck platform. These are electric ones.]

The men’s 500m is usually the drag race of speed skating.

Tonight, however it’s been more like watching paint dry.

For the second straight day, a problem with the ice resurfacing machine has delayed competition. Yesterday, one of the Olympia’s (made by worldwide Olympic sponsor GM) broke down during the women’s 5000m. That resulted in a 15 minute delay.

But this evening’s meltdown (literally) delayed proceedings for more than an hour, just before Canadians Kyle Parrot and Jeremy Wotherspoon were to begin their first of two races, with millions watching in North American prime time.

You can’t buy advertising like that.

Liveblogging the pairs free skate

By Katie Engelhart - Monday, February 15, 2010 at 7:19 PM - 8 Comments

7:19 p.m
Gearing up to live blog pairs figure skating. The fun starts at 8 p.m.

7:52 p.m
For those just tuning in: Last night was the pairs short competition. Going into the free skate tonight, Canada’s got Jessica Dube and Bryce Davison in 6th & Anabelle Langlois and Cody Hay in 7th.

7:55 p.m
OK I did an admirable job on my pizza. Now I can devote myself this. t-6 minutes.

7:56 p.m
Contrary to popular belief (among my mom, at least) I did not get stuck with this sport. I fought tooth and nail for it.

8:03 p.m
So this is where we’re at:
1st: Xue Shen & Hongbo Zhao (China)
2nd: Aliona Savchenko & Robin Szolkowy (Germany)
3rd: Yuko Kavaguti & Alexander Smirnov (Russia)
4th: Qing Pang & Jian Tong (China)
5th: Dan Zhang & Hao Zhang (China)
6th: Jessica Dube and Bryce Davison (Canada)
7th: Anabelle Langlois & Cody Hay (Canada)

8:07
It’s no big shocker that the Chinese are dominating. Still, it’s a big deal that Shen and Zhao set the world record last night for the highest score ever earned on a short skate: 76.66.

8:07
Wohoo. Germans are up. Is that outfit serious?

8:08
You heard it: Don’t land the side-by-side triple toes, and you can kiss it all goodbye.

8:09
Seriously though it looks like she said: I want to wear a pretty red dress. And he said: done, but for your information, I’m going to kick it like a gladiator.

8:11
My god, I love a good death spiral.

8:13
I love olympic commercials. I love that Rona made it financially possible for the Olympians to train. I would like to use Rona paint. As per the suggestion of that Sex and the City lady, I would also like to travel to British Columbia.

8:15
Ukranians.

8:16
Is it just me or does someone ALWAYS skate to this song?

8:18
The commentators aptly point out that this is a really slow routine. There’s definitely a lack of spunk factor here, although the lifts are beautiful.

8:19
That’s the problem with this ‘Pearl Harbour’ song, it just keeps going and going…

8:20
The team has only been together for two years, apparently. That makes sense. It seems like it takes a long time to build chemistry on the ice.

8:21
Jeez, I sound like a sports commentator.
On the plus side, her outfit was sooo Halle Berry Oscars circa 2002. Nice.

8:22
OK so the technical score wasn’t great. She landed some of her jumps with two feet.  That’s no good.

8:23
The Estonians skating to West Side Story? After the Ukranians skated to Pearl Harbour? There is great cultural confusion tonight.

8:24
That was a perfect landing. These two look so young and baby-faced. They’re lovely. I like them.

8:25
The dance part of their routine seems a wee bit stiff. The pair combination spin was quite slow.

8:26
They saved it by going clockwise AND counter-clockwise. That will earn them extra technical points.

8:28
They saved their triple salchow until near the end of their routine. That’s a plus.

8:29
Let’s take a moment during this commercial break to take note of the spelling of ‘salchow.’ It’s pronounced sow-cow. That’s very strange. I had to Google it.

8:27
This is their first Olympics together. They look like they’re having so much fun. And I love the pizazz at the end.

8:31
The Estonians automatically lost 2 points for landing that  salchow with two feet. So they’re 2/3 now.

8:33
The Poles started off with their hardest jump: side by side double toe. They nailed it. And some fancy lifting follows.

8:33
Ugh-oh, a fall. They’ve fallen out of sync now. And he’s talking to her, which is interesting. I don’t think I usually see the skaters talking to each other during the routine.

8:36
Triple lutz was perfect. And then…. HE FALLS! His toe-pick catches and HE falls. Without cause! Just skating in a straight line. That’s got to feel bad.

8:38
(Although CTV has comforting words: “He probably has a good sense of humour. Might even have a good chuckle about that one later.” Ummm… I’m going to go with: No. He probably won’t have a good chuckle later about falling over himself at the Olympics.)

8:47
You know you’re out of things to stay when you start talking about how thick the boards lining the ice are… and how far you have to reach to pass a water bottle across them. (Thanks, CTV)

8:49
We’ve got Great Britain, nailing a throw triple toe. The pairs are slightly out of sync on their side-by-side spins. But at least they’re decked out in colonial looking garb. Their country could ask for nothing more.

8:51
They have a sort of engaging routine here. I think the music choice was poor and there isn’t a terrible amount of rhythm or flow. But they’ve done some unusual jumps. And had a unique backwards entry to their last lift.

8:55
The British coaches married after skating together. Why does it seem like all the pairs get married? Or, marry their coaches. In what other workplace do colleagues wed at such an extraordinary rate?

8:56
1st place for the Brits, as of now.

8:57
The French team is up. She was born in Scarborough. And wow, she’s stunning.

8:58
So for their side-by-side triple salchows (tehee) he tripled and she doubled. The judges will mark that as a double.

9:00
This pair is really making up for a rocky start. This is stunning choreography. And they just nailed the most beautiful lift of the evening.

9:01
First standing ovation of the night.

9:04
Their death spiral was really hot. The death spiral is a required move, but for some reason it still excites me a lot.
Now, here’s a great factoid: there is a variation of the “Death Spiral” known as the “Love Spiral.”

9:05
OK I changed my mind. I love the Swiss. They are so ballsy. Beige plaid overalls!

9:06
My mother is not impressed with above comment. Her view: “They look like f***ing lederhosen.”

9:07
This is such a fun routine. We’ve seen a real string of sap-tasticness tonight. This is a welcome change.

9:08
That was a bad fall. And they’re starting to slow down a bit. How can they be slowing down with this music? It’s so darn chirpy!

9:09
Even while head-bopping, I can tell a sloppy side-by-side spin when I see one.

9:10
I liked the idea of this routine, but the execution was lacking. They seemed out of sync for most of it. And there were too many stumbles.
OK, I just learned that she’s only 16. Now I feel guilty. Oh, and she’s giving the cameras a backwards double thumbs up. Adorable.

9:16
As the commentators point out, the U.S team is going at a much faster pace that the previous teams. We’re told she messed up a jump yesterday – and that this is why they are placed so low. But, that they’re a better team than what they’re rank indicates.

9:17
I realize I’m not being very feminist friendly. SHE didn’t mess up a jump yesterday. THEY messed up their jump yesterday.  Today, they are skating beautifully. WAY out of the others’ league!

9:21
CTV just showed us the Canadians warming up on side-by-side treadmills. I never would have guessed that skaters warm up by cycling… or that they even need their heart rates to be up when they start.

9:24
Not that you need anything extra to make figure skating exciting, but…. here’s something that could work.

9:28
We’re still on break (the ice is being cleared).
So, onward with our education: Here’s some guy’s review of the five worst falls ever in figure skating.

9:43
Ok we’re back with another American team.

9:44
I like when teams go strong to start. They’re triple twist was nice.

9:45
Throw triple lutz, her hand touched down. And then their spins were a little far apart.

9:46
Is it OK for me to say that they totally did a botch job on his make-up? His skin looks orange and patchy from where he shaved. I digress… Their spread-eagle entry into the star was very impressive.

9:48
He looks like he might be the strongest male we’ve seen tonight – physically. Those lifts are LONG. He looks like he could lift her for days. Even nearing the end, when his arms must be burning.

9:49
Technically, it wasn’t a stellar routine. But these two are jacked. That’s cool.

9:52
114.06. Their personal best.
This pair is extremely emotional.

9:53
Russians are up. OK, she just stumbled on her first jump. And, they barely held on to their first throw. But I’m completely mesmerized. This dancing is stunning.  This is real choreography.

9:54
These two are dancers. She looks like a little Russian ballerina; I see signs of classical training.

9:56
Best lift of the night.

9:56
Bad fall on her bum!

9:56
Summary thus far: elegant dancing… but the two mess up each and every technical point of their routine.

9:57
Maybe they’re out of practice because he was banned for 18 months for taking an illegal substance!! (He claims his father gave him a headache pill and that there was no real doping violation).

10:01
Ukraine!

10:03
This guy is a mammoth. And that was a huge throw across the ice.
It’s very touching to see this giant balding Neanderthal skate with such… tenderness. Sigh.

10:04
They win my award for best throw thus far. (The much-coveted random blogger says it’s so award.)

10:05
A one-handed lift near the end of the routine.

10:08
No big deal, he rocks a tight black v-neck and giant dangling cross necklace. No big deal.

10:09
Ukrainians are first right now. And Italy is up.

10:10
Side-by-side triple salchows. She falls flat on her arse! After nailing it in practice all week.
Nice spiral routine, though. They are perfectly coordinated.  That’s not something we’ve seen a lot of tonight.

10:11
Side-by-side axels. Perfection.

10:12
Here comes the next round of random blogger awards. I grant the Italian team… Best Comeback Award. Sure, they had a godawful fall on their first jump. But they bounced back and they’ve been dead on since. I can’t imagine that they’ll lose too many technical points – beyond what they’ll be docked automatically for that fall.

10:18
The Canadians are warming up! Let’s send some good karma into the universe for them.

10:25
CANADA. Skating to Grand Canyon Suite.

10:26
Oh, she lost it on the side-by-side triple salchows!

10:27
But she landed that triple throw beautifully. This team was not expected to be in the running, and it’s amazing that they’re in 7th at all!

10:27
What nice, reserved Canadian costumes these are.

10:28
Anabelle is adorable. She just came back from ankle surgery. What a trooper.

10:29
That was a stunning lift. He covered a ton of ice with that one.
They seem very relaxed. It’s nice to see.

10:28
Sad. They didn’t make their big throw: the triple flip. There goes their chances…

10:30
Or, as CTV says, they “succumbed to the Olympics spotlight.”

10:30
Very romantic, the way she clutched his chest at the end. My hearts a’flutterin.

10:31
Also, props to him for covering so much ground with those lifts. He’s not half the size of the Ukranian behemoth.

10:33
A persona best for the team!

10:34
Dan Zhang & Hao Zhang of China.
Opening up with… a near face plant!

10:36
Man, that girl is airborne. That was a HUGE triple twist.

10:36
Throw triple loop landed with easy. She’s very graceful.

10:38
Their combination spin is very nice. I always like that move where the guy puts one leg over the girl and kind of sits on her. (Whodda thunk!)

10:39
My, he does not look happy! Then again, that fall will cost them any chance they had of medalling tonight.

10:41
Come on, man. Crack a smile! Crack a smile! You just ook first place!

10:42
We’ve got another Russian team. They’re placed 8th right now.

10:42
They’re skating to Love Story.
You know what I’m not in love with: men who leave a wee triangle of hair under their bottom lip.

10:43
Back on track: she’s gone down on their side-by-side triple salchows.

10:44
She was fired into that throw triple loop and she landed it perfectly.

10:45
Throw triple salchow she touched a hand down… but barely.

10:45
Do all Russian women have tight blond buns and red dresses? I think, maybe.

10:45
The commentators worry that they were too close on those side-by-side spins. Them be sharp blades!

10:46
Ooh. A mid-routine smooch.
This was quite a sensual routine, if I do say so myself.

10:49
I will give a prize to whoever can answer this question: what is the record for the world’s longest live-blog ever?
Just asking…

10:50
CANADA! Jessica Dube and Bryce Davison.
Skating to The Way We Were.

10:51
Amazing triple twist.
The commentators tell us that they’re getting back to a “storytelling” style tonight. As opposed to…? We are told they are very emotionally involved in this routine. Again, as opposed to….?

10:51
Stellar side-by-side jobs.

10:52
NOOOOOOOOO. A FALLLLLLLLLLLL. My hopes are dashed, dashed away.

10:53
She has had a lot of problems with that throw. I’m surprised they didn’t find some way to switch it up within the routine.

10:53
And she two-foots a landing. My goodness.

10:53
They look swell though. Reminds me of my school uniform days.

10:54
Triple loop. Nailed. Bravo.

10:54
They are very elegant dancers. These lands are so soft.

10:55
They look so sad. And they just skated away from each other. Come on. Smile!
She’s going to cry? No she’s not. Don’t cry!

10:56
Sorry, I need to collect myself.

10:57
OK not a great night for them. But better than this fateful night a few years back.

10:58
187.11.
No way they will medal.
(Also bonus points for whoever can figure out when ‘medal’ became a verb. Or was it always?…)

11:02
This routine was meant to recreate the story told in “The Way We Were,” the 1973 romantic comedy staring Barbara Streisand and Robert Redford. The movie was about an anti-war activist (Streisand) who falls for a writer (Redford) while in university. Summary: the two lovers fall in love and get married, but eventually drift apart because of their radically different political views.

This is what Davison said of their routine yesterday:
“Like in the movie, two people fall in love. . . it doesn’t end up working out and they end up leaving each other and the famous scene of walking away from each other at the end, that’s kind of been Jess and my story. That’s why it’s such an easy story for us to tell, because we’ve lived most of it, on the emotional side of things.”

11:09
So maybe they weren’t being poor sports at the end when they skated away from each other instead of smiling and embracing? Maybe it was part of the routine! That’s my angle and I’m sticking to it.

11:10
Oh wow. That Cheese Whiz commercial just made my stomach churn. Melted Cheese Whiz on a hot dog?

11:15
Four teams left.
OK, let’s learn something about the Chinese team now in first. I like these two for three reasons:
1) They set the record for highest score EVER last night… even though they are both in their 30s!
2) The couple actually retired from figure skating, but came back to try their hand at the 2010 Games.
3) They aren’t Russian. I know, I know. But the Russians ALWAYS win. (12 consecutive Olympic golds, to date.)

11:21
The Russians are up: Yuko Kavaguti & Alexander Smirnov.
She gave up her citizenship (Japanese) to skate for the Russian team. That’s figure skating dedication, Russian-styles.

11:22
Throw quad salchow…..Oooooh. She tripled AND touched down.

11:22
Immaturity alert: Does the Russian’s last name HAVE to be Smirnov?

11:23
Those side-by-side spin routines were dead on! And they were the perfect distance apart.

11:23
What an interesting move there. This really is such an elegant team.

11:23
The music has picked up. They are hip-hopping around. Oh here’s what just happened:
1) He fell on the first part of their side-by-side double axel.
2) They left out the second side-by-side double axel.

11:24
CTV: “It’s becoming a nightmare.”
She’s down again.
My goodness, Russia!

11:25
The costumes make no sense. He’s in a grey body suite/collared shirt. She is in an oriental-style red number.

11:26
They are hugging. Hug away! My bet is that they won’t podium. (If medal is a verb, can’t “podium” be a verb?)

11:27
I’m getting a lot of sexual innuendo from this CTV commentary. Is this just me?

11:28
He has a nice face. Very chiseled.

11:29
Are you KIDDING ME?
The Russians just took the lead.
They fell a million times. When DIDN’T they fall?
I’m crying foul. FOUL, I say.

11:29
Germans are up.

11:30
HUGE pat on the back for skating to Out of Africa.

11:30
Side-by-side triple toe: he stumbled and she doubled. Nice flip followed though.

11:31
Prize for whoever can figure out the answer to this question: Have there been an unusual amount of wipe-outs this year? Didn’t falls used to be rare?

11:31
Same problem from the short program: lack of unison on those side-by-side spins. You’d think that would be the least of their worries – spinning. And yet it’s something we’re seeing a lot of tonight.

11:32
Yes, TV network I agree that they seem “dispassionate.” I know! The Germans: dispassionate! Weird…

11:33
I’ve seen better death spirals.

11:34
This choreography seems quite drab. I would have expected something that stands out more from a pair ranked so highly.

11:34
OK so I guess the winner will be the pair that doesn’t wipe out more than twice? This is a sad state of affairs. I miss Olympics figure skating a la 2002.

11:36
Commentators: “The main problem has been their long program.” Ummm… there are only 2 programs. They kinda need to nail the long one.

11:37
Germans are in 1st now. But it won’t be good enough.
Also, does he REALLY need to pick his nose now in front of the camera? Narsty…

11:38
China is up! Qing Pang & Jian Tong. (In 4th from yesterday).

11:39
This is such inspiring music. The song is Impossible Dream. They’re dressed in red. And they’re ravishing and flourishing and all those adjectives that sound like that.  And the music picks up speed and they are incorporating a kind of salsa dance thing in there. (I’m tired. Is this a good enough picture that I painted for you?)

11:40
Perfect triple twist.

11:41
I like that she’s smiling. Nay, grinning! From ear to ear. She’s lovely.

11:41
Holy F***! That was a wild jump. She covered half the ice.
And then a perfect triple loop.
I’m in love with the Chinese team.

11:42
The crowd goes wild.
Perfect!

11:43
If my arse wasn’t glued to my couch, I would be giving the team a standing ovation.

They’re DEFINITELY going to ‘podium.’

11:45
They’re in first! That means the PRC is definitely placing first (since the only other team to go is also a Chinese team). The Russian run has been broken!

11:46
Xue Shen & Hongbo Zhao are up! China again.

11:47
There has been a plethora of red tonight.

11:47
Nailed the first jump.
… And the second side-by-side jumps.

11:48
Her face is so expressive. I like it!

11:48
Lifts for days….

11:49
Oh no. Error. Error. Error. Mess-up on a lift.
That may have just cost them gold.

11:49
Although they just did a beautiful flip.
And a beautiful throw triple loop.

11:50
Phew! Barely landing the throw triple salchow.

11:51
Jeez, that was smooth.
Turn to your significant other right now and take bets: Will that slip-up on the lift cost them gold?

11:52
CTV commentator: “The year of the tiger begins with a roar.” Indeed.

11:53
This definitely is not the appropriate time, but… Going back to my post about Cheese Whiz…. Look at the possibilities!

11:54
It’s it!

THEY WON

11:55
These two are adorable! So happy!
Can you believe these two came back from RETIREMENT?
No Scrabble competitions and early bird specials for them….

11:56
Canada placed 6th and 9th. Snaps.

11:58
OK thanks to anyone and everyone who tuned in! My mom said nobody would real my blog. But the 5 comments up right now prove her wrong. Mwahaha.

Don’t forget: Maclean’s will be live blogging each and every figure skating event of the Games!

Olympic Photos: Sunday, February 14th 2010

By macleans.ca - Monday, February 15, 2010 at 7:02 PM - 0 Comments

A real game changer

By Charlie Gillis - Monday, February 15, 2010 at 7:00 PM - 3 Comments

Imagine for a moment that we went back to the old way of doing things. Instead of getting jacked up this week about a potential gold medal showdown between Sidney Crosby and Alex Ovechkin, hockey fans would be making do with—let’s see—Alexandre Giroux and Sergei Mozyakin. Both are respectable journeymen: Giroux is a 28-year-old Canadian who ranks among the top American Hockey League scorers; Mozyakin, also 28, stars with Atlant Moscow in Russia’s Kontinental League. But potential protagonists in a future Olympic rivalry? Not quite.

Continue…

Snowboard's silver lining

By Jonathon Gatehouse - Monday, February 15, 2010 at 6:32 PM - 3 Comments

Chalk up another longshot medal for Canada. Mike Robertson of Edmonton came through with a silver in the finals of the men’s snowboard cross at Cypress Mountain this afternoon. And he came heartbreakingly close to the gold.

In the lead with the finish line in his sights, Robertson was nipped by reigning Olympic gold medalist, Seth Westcott of the United States, when he landed a little short on the final set of rollers and lost some momentum.

Still given that the first-time Olympian was on no one’s list of medal favourites, one suspects Robertson will take it.

A lift for Canada, after the disappointment of this morning’s men’s downhill in Whistler.

Now let’s see what happens in the men’s 500m speed skating.

Global's Great Television Tradition

By Jaime Weinman - Monday, February 15, 2010 at 6:32 PM - 8 Comments

Last night’s episode of The Simpsons, where they go to Vancouver, was not a bad episode but didn’t provide a lot to comment on. (It did demonstrate that Skinner’s origins have been completely whitewashed from the show, as the episode had him talk as if Agnes actually gave birth to him. Though you could argue that when Armin Tanzarian replaced the real Seymour Skinner, he agreed to take the blame for everything Skinner did, including his difficult birth.) It did continue my favourite Canadian TV tradition, the tradition of inept Global Television promos.

In this case, Global had not over-hyped the episode quite as badly as they did in 2002 when the Simpsons went to Toronto, and Global ran “THE SIMPSONS GO TO TORONTO!!!!1!” clips every five seconds. (Then the episode aired, the Toronto trip lasted about two minutes in the third act, and everyone in the country was P.O.’d.) The promo itself was fairly decent. But they continued to run the promo even after the episode was already in progress. And then, when the episode was over and they’d moved onto that show that rips off Family Guy and The Simpsons at the same time, Global ran the same promo, telling us to watch for the Simpsons’ trip to the Olympics, “tonight at 8 p.m. eastern!”

Now, I could make an argument that by telling us to watch out for 8 p.m. eastern after 8 p.m. eastern is already over, they’re making some broad point about the nature of time itself. But I don’t think the argument would stick.

As I said, Global’s bad promos — or in this case, badly-placed promos — are a tradition; any time they make their own promos instead of getting them from the U.S. parent network, they seem to come up with something just a little off. Ever since I was a child, I would see these Global promos where the creator either had never watched the show or didn’t have access to enough episodes to make up a good segment, so they’d take random clips from one episode (two at most) and let the voice-over guy try to make sense of it.

My favourite Global promo of all time, which I have never been able to find online (I know it was real; I saw it at least twice), was a King of the Hill promo consisting of one clip from the show and a voice-over announcement that was (exact quote) as follows:

Someone’s doing something on King of the Hill! Find out what! Tonight on Global!

Now that’s a promo.

Earl Jones sentenced to 11 years

By macleans.ca - Monday, February 15, 2010 at 6:26 PM - 3 Comments

Earl Jones, the disgraced Montreal financier who pleaded guilty to defrauding investors in a $50-million Ponzi scheme, was sentenced Monday to 11 years in jail. “He can rot in hell,” Bevan Jones said of his brother, who bilked him and more than 150 others in the investment fraud. The 11-year sentence was recommended by both prosecutors and Jones’s lawyers. So far, the Quebec government has been unable to recover any of the money handed over to Jones, which it says was never invested.

CBC News

'An attack on Israel would be considered an attack on Canada'

By macleans.ca - Monday, February 15, 2010 at 5:01 PM - 136 Comments

In a little-publicized interview with Shalom Life, Peter Kent, the Conservative minister of state for foreign affairs of the Americas, suggested Canada was prepared to take a hard line with Iran over the continued threat its nuclear program poses to Israel. “Prime Minister Harper has made it quite clear for some time now,” he said, “and has regularly stated that an attack on Israel would be considered an attack on Canada.” In the meantime, Kent said Ottawa would be pursuing efforts to impose ever-more stringent sanctions on Tehran. “We have had some sanctions for some time on equipment and materials related to the making of nuclear weapons,” Kent told the Toronto-based news site, “but it may soon be time to intensify the sanctions and to broaden those sanctions into other areas, such as economic areas which we hope would discourage Iran from its current course.” However, should diplomatic efforts prove ineffective in containing the Iranian threat, Kent said Canada wouldn’t rule out a military strike: “[It] is the last possible option but that remains in the broad range of options and unfortunate possibilities”

Shalom Life

Men's downhill ends in disappointment for Canada

By Nicholas Köhler - Monday, February 15, 2010 at 4:41 PM - 2 Comments

The top Canadian skier, Manuel Osborne-Paradis, ended up with a disappointing 16th-place finish in the men’s downhill event this morning.

The 26-year-old Vancouver-native, whose grandfather James was a volunteer weekend doctor in the early days of Whistler and who grew up skiing Blackcomb, was a favourite to medal in the event, still perhaps the sexiest on offer at the Winter Olympics.

Instead, the middle of the podium went to Swiss skier Didier Defago, a surprise for gold, with silver and bronze going to Aksel Lund Svindal of Norway and American downhill bad boy Bode Miller, respectively.

Osborne-Paradis’s lackluster performance at at Whistler Creekside was emblematic of a dismal day for the Canadian alpine team overall. The introverted Quebecker Erik Guay, 28, emerged with the most accomplished run, finishing fifth. Alberta’s Jan Hudec, also 28, defied a history of knee operations to compete, placing 23rd. And Osborne-Paradis’s Calgary roommate, Robbie Dixon, stumbled and spilled mid-race, failing to finish——a terrible blow after impressive training runs for the 25 year old.

The event came after warm, wet weather postponed a number of training runs for both the men’s and women’s races, then scuttled the races.

Just last week, the arrival of bedbugs forced Osborne-Paradis to change the sheets of his bed. But in the weeks, months and even years heading into today’s race–perhaps spoiling his approach today–Osborne-Paradis was contending with a different sort of pest.

Reporters had long demanded that Osborne-Paradis show some evidence of the pressure that’s been put on him to generate a medal at the 2010 Vancouver Games. This morning he did.

What was the most common question put to him? “I guess how I’m going to deal with all the stress,” he told Maclean’s recently. “But that’s pretty easy. I just kind of deal with it.”

Then Manny, who listens to LA rappers Hollywood Undead and such 80s classics as Poison and Whitesnake before competing, laughs with a gooselike HA!!! adding: “I don’t how I’m going to deal with it.”

In the main Manny has dealt with the spectre of the looming Olympic spirit by treating it like any other race. “If I was going to do anything different then that would mean that I’m half-assing all the World Cup races,” he told Maclean’s. “Why would I do anything different? I’m going to do the exact same thing because it seems to be working.”

It didn’t today——during a scrum after his run, Osborne-Paradis admitted he had been pursuing the top spot, and not just the top 10 he normally aims at in World Cup races.

Indeed, Osborne-Paradis was coming off an impressive run of three World Cup wins in the last 11 months, on a circuit he may hold in higher regard than the flash of the Olympic Games. “It wouldn’t be the most important race of the year if it wasn’t in Canada, because I think Kitzbühel [the Austrian resort that hosts the annual World Cup races] would overrule it. So it’s [the Olympics'] the biggest race and it is not just any race, but at the same time if you treat it like it’s any different–you’re going to fail.

“Your job is not to get wrapped up in the Olympics, your job is to compete,” he adds. “The fans and stuff that pay for the tickets, they can get wrapped up in it”

Dixon, meanwhile had impressed during the training runs by coming in second fastest, behind Didier Cuche of Switzerland, who had been the gold-medal favourite.

Guay, who of late has suffered from back problems, had secured just one podium finish since 2007, when he followed up his World Cup win in Garmisch-Partenkirchen, Germany with four other podium finishes. At 28, he’s a young father looking for the next turning point in his career.

And Czech-born Calgary skier Hudec, himself getting over a knee operation, is part of the team thanks in large part to some unlucky breaks.

Today’s four skiers represent much of what remains of the Canadian alpine team after a string of injuries, perhaps due to equipment and material innovations generated by Own the Podium’s Top Secret R&D program that pushes the limits of the anatomically possible. World downhill champion John Kucera broke his leg at Lake Louise, while Jean-Phillippe Roy and Francois Bourque are also MIA because of mangled knees.