And the Oscar for most awkward speech goes to, Still using his noggin and Sticking it to Dave

Homecoming was bittersweet
During her first visit to Haiti since January’s devasting earthquake that left more than 200,000 dead—including her daughter Marie-Eden’s godmother—Governor General Michaëlle Jean described the destruction as “unbelievable” but remained optimistic about Haiti’s recovery. “I believe it is feasible,” Jean said. “It takes vision. Haiti’s not alone.” Over the two-day trip, Jean toured the capital of Port-Au-Prince, visiting the cathedral where she was baptized. She left a wreath amid the ruins. The next day, she travelled to Jacmel, her mother’s hometown.

With friends like these
A claim that Samantha Cameron, wife of British Conservative Party Leader David Cameron, “might have voted for Blair” in 1997, and may consider casting her ballot for Labour Party Leader Gordon Brown next time around, has caused a stir in the U.K. The allegations were especially scandalous considering the source: Ed Vaizey, the Tories’ arts spokesman and party insider (until now, presumably). Vaizey quickly backpedalled, saying he had nothing to justify his comments, which appeared on a nationally televised documentary. And Cameron denied the claim. But it wasn’t Vaizey’s only indiscretion: in this month’s Vanity Fair he’s quoted as saying that Cameron is more conservative than he seems, thanks to “political exigency”—which some have taken to mean “the upcoming election.”

That baby is so me
Some people watching the “milk­aholic baby” Super Bowl ad saw a talking baby; Lindsay Lohan, it seems, saw a version of herself. Claiming E-Trade based the character on her, Lohan is suing the company for US$100 million. In the ad, one baby asks her baby boyfriend via video chat why he missed their date. The boy baby claims he was tied up diversifying his stock portfolio. “And that milkaholic Lindsay wasn’t over?” asks the girl. “Lindsay?” the boy asks. Suddenly, another girl baby appears. “Milk-a-what?” she says. Lohan’s lawyer claims her client has the same first-name recognition as Madonna. “They’re using her name as a parody of her life,” Stephanie Ovadia told the New York Post. “Why didn’t they use the name Susan? This is a subliminal message.”

A pretty good bet
Before he died last year, Nicholas New­life of Oxford, U.K., willed his estate as well as some outstanding sports wagers to Oxfam. The bets were made between 2000 and 2005, and would be worth more than $400,000 if successful. Some involve tennis star Andy Roddick and cricketer Ramnaresh Sarwan. The real pressure, though, falls on Roger Federer. Thanks to previous wagers by Newlife, Federer has already won the charity more than $25,000. But in one bet, which may come to fruition this summer, Newlife gambled $2,400 that Federer would win Wimbledon seven times before 2020. That payout is worth more than $150,000.

Seldom had a fight he didn’t win
In his new memoir, Courage and Consequence, Karl Rove stands firmly behind former U.S. president George W. Bush who, he writes, “never authorized torture,” and did not “lie us into war.” No big shockers on that front, say critics. But the political strategist, now a Fox News analyst, also gets personal, writing about his mother’s suicide and his stepfather. “I have no idea if my [step]father was gay,” Rove writes. “And frankly, I don’t care.” There’s also a section in which he documents the first political fight he ever lost. In 1960, a local teen gave Rove, then age 9, a hard time—and a bloody nose—over the Nixon sticker on his bike. She apparently backed Jack Kennedy.