I firmly believe our investment in jetpack technology will pay off big-time. Steve Jobs will buy the design from us, name it the iPack, put a lousy camera in it and we’ll all be rich. We’ll have so much money that we’ll be able to bring all the athletes back to Vancouver and show them a closing ceremonies that doesn’t bite the big one. Right after we win gold in the jetpack slalom.
Despite my enthusiasm, I am not naive about jetpacks. I know there are a number of difficult public policy questions that still need to be addressed.
Policy question No. 1: should we name our jetpacks? It’s a tough call. We generally don’t name our cars but we do name our boats. I’m going to say yes, we should name our jetpacks. Dibs on Hellraiser.
Policy question No. 2: would a proliferation of jetpacks intensify the process of global warming? Yep. But here’s the thing: nobody will give a damn. Rattlesnakes could migrate north to thrive on the tropical Arctic tundra and the Bermuda-shorted Inuit would be like, “Check this out—I put some flame decals on the side of my jetpack.” And David Suzuki and Al Gore would high-five and agree that’s awesome. Why? Because it is awesome.
Policy question No. 3: jetpacks are amazing! That’s not really a question, but I agree.
At this point, you’re probably wondering if there is any downside—any downside at all—to a world with jetpacks. The answer is no. Will some people in jetpacks die in head-on collisions with other people in jetpacks? Frequently. But they’ll be remembered for having died in a jetpack accident. There is no more awesome way to go.
Pages: 1 2
