An Apple by any other name

Naming laws seek to shield children from their parents’ eccentricities

by Jane Switzer on Monday, July 12, 2010 3:47pm - 0 Comments

Historical, biblical, painstakingly unique or exceptionally common, first names are the great marker of identity. New parents need to look no further than the Internet for thousands of options, and some even enlist the help of naming consultants and numerologists to find the perfect moniker. For every thousand people in the world named Sarah or Michael, there’s an Apple, Pilot Inspektor or Sage Moonblood. But depending on where you live, your proposed name for your new baby could be illegal. Though North Americans are free to name their children almost anything—a New Jersey couple named their son Adolf Hitler in 2005—countries in Europe and Asia have enacted more stringent laws to protect children from their parents’ eccentric whims.

Germany: Children’s vornamen (first names) must be gender-specific, and are approved or rejected by the Standesamt, the office of vital statistics. Appealing a rejected name can be both time consuming and costly, and requires parents to think of a new name each time one is rejected. Because naming can be such a hassle, many parents opt for traditionally popular names such as Elisabeth or Alexander. Name changes are allowed in certain circumstances, such as marriage, clerical error or gender reassignment surgery. The name Matti was rejected for a baby boy because German officials deemed it too ambiguous.

Sweden: Sweden’s naming law was enacted in 1982, and was originally passed to prevent non-noble families from giving their children noble names. Elisabeth Hallin and Lasse Diding decided to name their son Brfxxccxxmnpcccclllmmnprxvclmnckssqlbb11116, pronounced Albin, in 1991 to protest the country’s naming laws. Because they didn’t register their son’s name until his fifth birthday, Hallin and Diding were hit with a 5,000 kronor fine. They appealed the decision and tried to change their son’s name to A, also pronounced Albin, but the courts refused to accept the name and upheld the fine. Google, however, was deemed an acceptable middle name when Elias and Carol Kai named their son Oliver Google Kai in 2005. Michael and Karolina Tomaro locked themselves in a lengthy court battle for the right to name their daughter Metallica, after their favourite band. Baby Metallica was initially denied a passport, but the opposition dropped their case in 2007.

New Zealand: New Zealand’s laws leave a bit more room for interpretation, but registrar officials have been known to try to talk parents out of giving their children unusual names. Names cannot be offensive, unreasonably long, have inadequate justification or include or resemble an official title or rank. Although Sex Fruit, Fish and Chips and Adolf Hitler were rejected, there are people named Midnight Chardonnay, Number 16 Bus Shelter and Violence somewhere in New Zealand. Names also cannot begin with a number, much to the frustration of Pat and Sheena Wheaton, who wanted to name their son 4Real. Undeterred by the rejection of 4Real by the country’s registrar of births, deaths and marriages, the Wheatons opted for the name Superman instead. The couple said they still planned to call their son 4Real at home.

China: Chinese names are written with the family name first and the given name second, and babies are named based on the ability of computer scanners to read those names on national identification cards. Non-Chinese symbols and characters are not allowed, and, as of now, Chinese symbols that cannot be recognized on computers are not allowed. Wang @ was rejected as a baby name due to the inclusion of an unusual symbol. @ in Chinese is pronounced “ai-ta” and is similar to a phrase that means “love him.” Unofficial cultural naming taboos also exist that discourage people from naming their children after exalted people in China and neighbouring nations.

Denmark: Denmark might just have the strictest laws in Europe when it comes to naming. Parents can only choose from a list of 7,000 government-approved names—3,000 for boys, 4,000 for girls. If parents want to deviate from the official list, they have to get permission from their local parish, where names are registered. Alternative spellings of common names and gender-ambiguous names are most commonly appealed by parents hoping to make their children unique, but about 15 to 20 per cent of more than 1,000 names that are reviewed each year are rejected. Jakobp, Bebop, Ashleiy are examples of rejected names, but parents Greg Nagan and Trine Kammer had their daughter’s name Molli Malou approved in 2004 after having to write a letter to the Danish government explaining why they chose an uncommon spelling—they liked it.

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  • Susana

    This trend of naming kids something unusual to make them stand out or creatively changing the spelling of more common names is even affecting people like me, who chose to name my child the perfectly simple name of "Andrea." You wouldn't believe the number of times I have been asked "how do you spell that?" I mean what do they think? It's Andrea, for crying out loud!

  • L.A. in T.O.

    Don't use your kid to prove your eccentricities. Yeah you can do it, but why would you stick such a stigma on your kid, assuming that you had one because you love them, not because you want to use them as your personal accessory, sounding board, or emotional punch bag.

    They have to live with it, not you. If you want to prove a point, change your own name to "Iman Idiot" then. But let your kids grow up normal, even if you're not.

  • Catherine

    You are not completely free to name your child anything everywhere in Canada. In Quebec, names need to be approved by the government.

  • http://intensedebate.com/people/RunningGag RunningGag

    Now that we've been able to engineer the malaria resistant mosquito, we're finally able to deal with the real problem facing humanity: Unauthorized, rogue names that may, or may not, contribute to an impossible to define adjustment of a child's self-esteem.

    The future of tomorrow… TODAY!

    • Cheryl

      Repeat after me "Big Brother is Watching"!

      • http://intensedebate.com/people/RunningGag RunningGag

        I'm sure that there's a comment there. I guess I'm just missing it.

  • Ms. Hyde

    It's funny that most people agree that parents shouldn't be jerks and give their kids awful names, yet we don't want to endorse some sort of regulation on naming or the right to control someone's life (ie being a parent). Even though it should be pretty obvious by now that if people have the opportunity to be stupid, a fair proportion of people will take it…

  • ali0105

    I find that Canada need to set up something to make sure that parents are no allowed to name their kids wierd because when it comes school tim for those kids, they are just going to be picked on. I have a friend that named his 3 kids, 7, NeptuneBlue, and Starbucks. Really wrong.

    • Melly

      It doesnt matter what your childrens names are they will get teased, be it a conventional name or an unconventional one. All that should matter is what you and your child feel about their name. If they grow up with confidence in their name then even when the other children start their teasing, YOUR child will get over it, the teasing does not last a life time, and with positive reinforcement from the parents the child will not loose that confidence. And if the name gets critisized in adulthood, maybe it is the one doing the teasing that should be questioned, not the name itself. It is to be expected that children will tease, adults on the other hand should be accepting and not 'judge a book by its cover', or name in this case.

      • submarina

        i agree

  • Dan

    We forget that our parents own our names. Unless we decide to choose one ourselves. This can be done legally or not.

  • Jennifer

    THANK GOODNESS I LIVE IN CANADA & SHAME ON THOSE CONTROLLING OTHER COUNTRIES! Names can be an expression and a wish for a child. Seriously, a boy couldn't be named Matti in Germany? ! These countries should try working on bigger issues affecting their people. But from looking at these ideas maybe they shouldn't be making important decisions. Yes, I may not appreciate the name that someone else chooses for their child -but oh well! There are many people that I don't appreciate having children either so what can you do? You can't tell people what they can and can't name their children. I wish people cared more about parents giving their babies Koolaid and sugary processed foods (though often because they are less expensive then the healthy alternatives -so who can blame them) than what they name their children. Come on people!

    • Silent Observer

      I am German and I don't see why a child can't be named Matti – the registrar may ask the parents to choose a middle name that clearly identifies the gender but that's it. After all, a man can have "Maria", the German version of "Mary", as a middle name and any registrar will accept that.

      If people were a little more sensible about naming their children, rules and regulations wouldn't be needed.

  • ed smith

    I hope that parents who give their kids stupid names are prepared to have those kids hate them once the kids realise (usually Grade one) that other kids are making fun of them. Trust me I know. I grew up with a gender inappropriate name and suffered all kinds of humiliation growing up. Eventually in my twenties I started using my middle name and life became a hell of a lot better. I hope there is a special place in hell for parents who are really trying to present to the world their own uniqueness by giving their offspring awkward names.

  • Foder Bem

    I believe that we should be able to impinge upon our children the names that we find most gratifying and unique, without governmental imposition or torment. We should be the kingmakers. Not the state. Let the state not interfere upon the naming of our most beloved!!!
    For we must be free to choose uniqueness and not hegemonic ubiquitness!!! Long live those who lust for originality. Let they not be molested by the inferiority of the so-called superiors whose modus operandi is to devastate and obliterate the unique individual.

  • Zarquon X

    Ahh, the myth of the unique individual. Humans, all the same. Now if you want your child to grow up unique, name him or her John or Jennifer, so that their struggle will be to carve out their own place, not Zarquon X, because their struggle will be to be just like everyone else.

  • Julie

    When I was naming my boys, someone said put Dr. in front of the name and see it on a business card. That was a very good suggestion.

  • Steve

    What about a 1 (one) week cooling off period before this innocent childs name becomes their legal name? It will give family members & friends time to reason with the new parents about the future repurcussions the name they've chosen will have on the child!

  • Delphicorc

    Perhaps we in North America are too influence by the old Johny Cash song: A boy named Sue. Which tells the story of a reprobate father who gives his baby son a girl's name because he knows he won't be around and he want his kid to grow up tough which he will have to be defending his girly name in a chauvinistic cowboy culture. A strategy that evidently worked because he came close to killing his own father when he encounters him later in life. But just when your starting to think that naming a boy Sue makes sense the first person singer implores his listeners to name their boy, Rex or Bob, or Jim

    • Kate

      That song is all I could think about while reading the previous posts! I was just waiting for someone to mention it. :-)

      Names are such an important part of ones' identity. Parent's that don't take it seriously need a shake!

  • Silent J

    As someone with a given name which is unique and difficult to pronounce, this issue strikes a nerve. Parents should realize that they certainly can create barriers for their child when they saddle them with–even a nice sounding name–that is intimidating for average folks to pronounce. Every time my name was read out incorrectly in front of a group it was embarrassing, for me, and for the person trying to read it. Every time you encounter a new person, there is that obstacle to overcome (i.e. job interviews, appointments…) It would be a real burden for a shy person. That's not me, but I DO spend a significant amount of time answering questions about the name my parents chose for me– I wear a name tag at work in a hospital setting, where most of my patients are seniors. It's a favourite topic of conversation for them.

  • Nancy

    This article is amazingly similar to one posted on June 28, 2010 that I found at http://www.mentalfloss.com/blogs/archives/59277. Do I smell plagierism?

  • C.A.T.

    In the grand scheme of things, what they name their children doen't really matter. But to those who worry about such trivial matter…. take heart…..all those Tiffanies, and Brittanies, and Madisons, ad infinitium, ad naseum, amen…will all grow up…..and then THEY will name their children whatever is popular….and overused…at that time.

    To all those poor children who's names are considered funny by others…just remember YOU will decide what nursing home to put your parents into. Be patient…."revenge is a dish best served cold".

  • submarina

    you people should take it easy,as somebody else said here, do they live happy or not? what? will they stop eating because of their names? i think the parents have the right to raise their childrens as they please, i'm the kind of person who thinks those kind of things doesnt matter, im not living for the society, i live for my own, for the people i care about, and for those who cares about me, i have a ridiculous name and i have a normal life, i dont miss an arm or a leg, now that would make my life hard, but not a name, some people seem to care so much for little things like that, you should be more concern about other things,YOU are the ones who should grow up, i cant believe people make such a ridiculous laws, just because they name a child butty doesnt mean they hate their kid, what if that name means something to them, and just because a law now they cant, man thinks there have to be somebody telling them what to do to know what is right and what is wrong, we are suppoused to live a free life, but the realuty is that we never stoped being slavers!

  • submarina

    also a name doesnt make you child better or worse, it is how you raise them, the influence you have on your kid

  • Joei

    Just to be on the other side of the arguement: I have a weird name and happen to like it. It is a boy's name "Joey" but spelt with an "i" becoming "Joei". Sure, I spend some time saying "No, it's not short for anything" or "It's Joei, not Joel" but hey, it makes me different. It starts conversations, and yes some people make fun of me (ie. calling my boyfriend: "John, your boyfriend is calling!") but whatever, that's just their insecurities. When plan to have kids, they will have slightly different names, but nothing close to "4Real". I mean, individuality is one thing, but being plain cruel is another. You deffinatly have to think about your childrens' lives and how your name choices will effect them. On the other hand, parents by no means give kids enough credit. I find it appalling how parents baby their kids even through their teens, when humans in general are very tough emotionally. Anyway, that's just my opinion.

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