Feschuk on the famous

Feschuk on the famous

Scott Feschuk skewers just about everyone, from senior politicians to F-list celebrities. Follow Scott on Twitter:
@scottfeschuk

Harper’s summer, according to none of your business who

by Scott Feschuk on Sunday, August 15, 2010 5:35pm - 0 Comments

UPDATE: It took 59 hours and 117 comments, but we finally have someone writing in defence of Jane Taber. Fittingly, they do so while remaining anonymous. See the comments below.

I know you’re all very busy, and I worry about you. I don’t want you to miss out on any big developments in the world of Canadian politics. So I’ve done you the solid of summarizing the many revelations contained in Jane Taber’s Saturday column in the Globe:

1. The Prime Minister is currently “pretty laid-back. He’s pretty calm.” This quote comes courtesy of a “Conservative caucus member.” One can understand why the MP would demand the cloak of anonymity for such an incendiary and seditious remark.

2. The Prime Minister is “focused.” Polls, the census controversy, the Helena Guergis affair – these are all “mere irritants” (Jane’s description) or “white noise” (the description provided by “one veteran caucus source”). Question: does that mean the source is a veteran of the caucus or a veteran of being one of Jane’s sources? Is this “source” the same “source” as the “Conservative caucus member?” Does Jane Taber go “off the record” with everyone she talks to, or also inanimate objects like boxes and hat racks?

3. The Prime Minister “likes governing,” in the words of a “senior Conservative official” who was granted anonymity because who the hell knows. Funny story: When I was in journalism and an actual reporter at The Globe and Mail, I was informed that anonymous sources were to be used only in the context of conveying factual, important and useful information or revelations that would otherwise not make it to print. I must have tuned out before my editor said they could also be used to assist in performing the reportorial equivalent of a happy ending on a public figure.

4. Michael Ignatieff? “Wishy-washy,” according to a very seniory super-inside long-time party whatever. A Liberal source reached for comment responded: “       ,” because a Liberal source wasn’t asked for comment.

5. John Baird as House Leader “is going to be a game changer” for the government, says someone in the government.

6. Stephen Harper spent part of Canada Day jamming at Harrington Lake with the Barenaked Ladies.

Let me pause and take a moment here. You know what: Too often, we in the media focus on the negative – on the forgotten promises, the failed efforts, the outright lies. So it’s a pleasure to be able to praise Stephen Harper for his foresight and his honesty.

Back in June, 2007, Harper snubbed Bono during a G8 summit. Perhaps you remember this moment? The U2 singer had requested a meeting with the Prime Minister to discuss Canada’s contribution to the fight against HIV/AIDS in Africa – to which Harper replied: “Meeting celebrities isn’t my shtick. That was the shtick of the previous guy.”

During the ensuing three years, Harper has stayed true to his word. Time and again, he has proved that meeting celebrities isn’t his “shtick.” It’s apparently his “full-time occupation.”

Barenaked Ladies, Taylor Swift, Bryan Adams, Chad Kroeger, Michael Buble – and all in the span of the past few months. A full plate. Further kudos to our Prime Minister for using these celebrity encounters to get autographs, jam and play ping-pong rather than sully them with anything so tedious and scorn-worthy as efforts to fight HIV/AIDS in Africa.

7. It was, for the Prime Minister, “a good summer.” This isn’t a quote from a senior Conservative source or a veteran caucus member or a super-senior double-secret invisible party uber-insider. These are the words of Jane Taber herself. I’m as confused as you as to why she didn’t demand anonymity from herself.

Bookmark and Share
  • Margaret

    I really enjoyed that. Glad to see someone in the press sock it to Jane Taber.
    Thank you Mr. Anonymous. The whole thing about "anonymous sources" puts me in mind of one of those novelty songs by Ray Stevens. My kid finds it hysterically funny today. True, it stars an unsavoury person, a stalker, but so are all sneaky people.

    "It's Me Again, Margaret – or Jane"
    http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Zs4P8WKbF-w

  • http://surftofind.com/extra Policy

    Harper is a good man, but he's clueless.

    He called the RCMP on his own minister, and they cleared her.

    And then, she was used in this manner.

    Like Bush before him, Harper is just a puppet on a string, because policy is a closed doors affair.

  • DBM

    Little known fact – Taber has a number of pets.

    'Conservative caucus member' is a domestic short hair tabby. 'Senior party official' is a 2 year old cockapoo. 'Liberal insider' is a siamese.

    We're not sure what 'Public service source' is, but we're pretty sure there's some Jack Russell Terrier in there.

    • Margaret

      @DBM – 'Liberal Insider' is probably Warren Kinsella, so what you said there is really funny. Visions of him with crossed blue eyes, long whiskers, and smug look on his face.

  • Malcolm Barry

    An older brother of mine and at the time aged about 15 would come home and tell my Father various information. Now there were 12 children in the family and Dad would ask my brother, "where did you hear that", and my brother would reply, " down the square". Just had to be true.

  • http://www.nissology.com Hans

    Ha Ha Ha! Its funny cuz its all true! And don't forget his performance with Yo Yo Ma!

  • jkg

    Barenaked Ladies, Taylor Swift, Bryan Adams, Chad Kroeger, Michael Buble – and all in the span of the past few months…

    Don't worry, Scot, on one of these days when Chad Kroeger comes to town, he will put a photograph of you and your dog in the slideshow instead of Harper and his kitten when he sings "Photograph."

  • http://www.forexsports.com forexsports.com

    Harper had a terrible summer, where was he ?

  • arcticmelt

    Man you have a way with words. Good stuff!! One of Madam Taber's topic header was, "The PM does it best barenaked"
    Yeah…but isn't that how most of the world does it?

  • Taber has a Real Job

    You know, Jane Taber is a great political reporter! She's better than Coyne and Wells put together cause her opinions and witty jibes arise out of the realities of the political day, while Coyne and Wells stuff us full of what we've already read over at the Globe (just sauced to make us think we haven't tasted that before). Shes reports (unlike Feschuk who only retorts). I like Jane Taber and I think this post is LOW.

    • Holly Stick

      Because actually distinguishing whether you are reporting facts or regurgitating someone's talking points (i.e. lies) isn't really important anyway.

  • Taber has a Real Job

    Hey Feschuk!

    Karen Krisfalusi here. Author of "Maclean's for Dummies" and Paul Well's favourite commenter!!!! I do sometimes post anon but that's only cause 'krisfalusi@gmail.com" and "krisfalusi@inbox.com" and my son's email and my anon email I use for suspect websites are banned on this site. I don't do it on purpose. But really, do you actually care that 'it's me'? This whole issue of anonymous commenting is one I've explored thoroughly through writing "Maclean's for Dummies". I found out that we actually shouldn't use our real names on Internet boards. Not without strict safeguards and controls to protect the brand this is our name.

  • Anon 001

    I’m as confused as you as to why she didn’t demand anonymity from herself.

    She did, but then she decided to blow it.

  • http://sistersagesmusings.ca ckt

    I’m as confused as you as to why she didn’t demand anonymity from herself.

    She did, but then she decided to blow it.

    Please! If she did demand anonymity from herself, how the hell would she be able to stroke her own ego,now?

  • Dot

    For some reason, quoting the whole Anon 001entry as the first respondent, without attributing it to him, seems so confusing, and Taberish. Which, btw, in Southern Alberta means corn. Husky corn. Yellow… husky… buttery and salty corm. Mmmmmm….

From Macleans