Newsmakers

Quite the operator
Canadian thespian Pamela Anderson has crawled into bed with cellphone giant Nokia, and you can, too. A lingerie-clad Anderson is promoting the N8, Nokia’s HD video phone. The contest offers one lucky lad a chance to star with her in a short film to be shot in London on Sept. 20. “I don’t want to give too much away,” trills Anderson, “but my scenes are shot in a bedroom.” For women, there’s an equally iffy reward: an elevator scene with Gossip Girls hunk Ed Westwick.

In over her head
In the wake of a notorious debate meltdown, Arizona Gov. Jan Brewer recanted a statement that Arizonans were being found beheaded in the desert near the Mexican border. (She “misspoke.”) As for her mangled debate opener—which included a nine-second pause, and an ill-timed giggle—she conceded it was “not her finest hour.” Pundits were less forgiving. Slate’s Dave Wiegel called it “meltdown-a-riffic,” Talking Points Memo a “trainwreck.” None of it is expected to affect the election result. The Republican incumbent, a folk hero on the right for her draconian immigration law, leads Democrat Terry Goddard, 57 to 38 per cent.

Definitely not Jerry’s kids
Jerry Lewis is hopping mad at young, troubled celebutantes who take their charmed lives for granted. “I’d smack her in the mouth,” he said when asked what he’d do if he ran into a freshly rehabbed Lindsay Lohan. “I would smack her in the mouth and be arrested for abusing a woman!” Paris Hilton, charged for cocaine possession in Las Vegas last week, is no better. “What these children are saying,” he says, “is I’m f—ked up, please help me.”

Over the moon
To astronaut Chris Hadfield, his selection to command the International Space Station is a coup for us all. “To be trusted with their lives and with that entire station on behalf of all the world’s space-faring nations, most specifically on behalf of Canada, is a tremendous honour,” said the 51-year-old former jet pilot, a native of Sarnia, Ont. And he’s not worried about getting lonely in his six-month stay, slated to begin in December 2012. “There are people who live in downtown Toronto who feel pretty isolated.” What matters is the right “attitude.”

Not a moment too Sa-Soon
South Korea’s Cha Sa-soon is either the world’s worst driver, or its most indomitable spirit. The 69-year-old, known across South Korea as “Grandma Cha Sa-soon,” finally passed her driver’s test on her 960th try. “It felt like a huge bur­den falling off our back,” driving instructor Park Su-yeon told the New York Times. “We didn’t have the guts to tell her to quit.” At one point, Cha, who wanted the licence so she can take her grandkids to the zoo, was taking the test five times a week. She’s starring in a new commercial for Hyundai, and the company has given her a car.

A chorus of boos
A school principal has unleashed a storm for dropping the word “gay” from the Aussi campfire classic, Kookaburra Sits in the Old Gum Tree. When Garry Martin told students at Melbourne’s Lepage Primary to sub the word “fun” in the chorus, “Laugh, kookaburra, gay your life must be,” he said he wasn’t insulting gay people, he was trying to cut the giggles. “Some think I’m the devil incarnate,” he told a local radio station, after being bombarded by angry emails.

Manly, in his own way
Russian President Dmitry Medvedev tucked into a watermelon as he toured a collective farm in Grachinoe, Russia, last week. Meantime, his macho predecessor Vladimir Putin, famously photographed fighting fires, riding horses or shooting whales, hinted he may take another run at the presidency in 2012.