Alan Simpson, the former Republican Senator from Wyoming whom President Obama chose to co-chair a deficit commission, was probably best known for ranting about how Social Security is “a milk cow with 310 million tits” (which, translated, means that old people should all have the good sense to be rich, like him). We thought that was his greatest speech, until yesterday. On Fox News to do his familiar routine about how not cutting Social Security will destroy the futures of America’s grandchildren, the 79 year-old Senator decided to talk about those grandchildren’s choices in music and fashion:

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Senator Simpson made no mention of whether or not he wore an onion on his belt or his opinion on Matlock, nor whether he changed his name from “Abraham J.”