Get ready for Armageddon
By Mark Steyn - Thursday, August 18, 2011 - 98 Comments
The world’s last superpower is on a joyride to oblivion. An exclusive excerpt from Mark Steyn’s new book, “After America.”
Diego Azubel/EPA/Keystone Press
Previously on Apocalypse Soon . . .
It was the worst of times, it was the not quite so worst of times. The predecessor to this book was called America Alone: The End of the World as We Know It, and, given the title, you may be tempted to respond, “C’mon, man. You told us last time it was the end of the world. Well, where the hell is it? I want my money back. Instead, you come breezing in with this season’s Armageddonouttahere routine. It’s like Barbra Streisand farewell tours—there’ll be another along next summer.”
Well, now: America Alone: The End of the World as We Know It was about the impending collapse of all of the Western world except America.
The good news is that the end of the rest of the West is still on schedule. The bad news is that America shows alarming signs of embracing the same fate, and then some.
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Take cover, friends, the end is nigh
By Scott Feschuk - Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 3:16 PM - 3 Comments
FESCHUK: We survived the Super Bowl halftime show. But other dangers lurk everywhere.
Getty Images; Istock; Photo Illustration By Taylor Shute
Everywhere we turn, there are ominous signs. Birds by the hundreds falling from the sky. Fish by the thousands washing up on shore. Ears by the millions bleeding from the Super Bowl halftime show. This seems like a good time for another edition of: What’s Killing Us Now?
Superstorms. The Earth’s northern magnetic pole, which usually moves around a little each year, is suddenly making a beeline for Russia—possibly because Sarah Palin yelled at it from her porch. Pick a side, magnetism!
Whatever the reason, some experts believe the shift is causing havoc with the weather and may ultimately set off a cycle of dangerous superstorms with winds as high as 600 km/h. Gusts of that magnitude “would likely destroy anything they come into contact with,” said one report, which I believe was published in the Journal of Duh.
The implications are many. Mass death. Untold destruction. Plus, CNN is running out of time to Continue…
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2012 Are you ready?
By Brian Bethune - Friday, October 30, 2009 at 2:00 PM - 66 Comments
It’s not just a movie for those who believe the world really will end then
Even though there are still three years to go, give or take a few months, before the end of civilization as we know it, Hollywood has decided to cash in now with 2012, director Roland Emmerich’s $200-million love letter to special effects. Perfectly reasonable plan. After all, millions worldwide believe that cataclysmic destruction—or, just maybe, total spiritual transformation—will commence as soon as the millennia-old Mayan calendar grinds to a halt on Dec. 21, 2012. In either case there won’t be any Ferrari dealers, cocaine suppliers or anyone else to lavish the film profits on. And, for true believers, there’s every motive to go for the gold now. That may have been the thinking of Richard Heene, when the father of six-year-old Falcon concocted the Balloon Boy stunt. “Heene believes the world is going to end in 2012,” according to his friend Richard Thomas. “Because of that he wanted to make money quickly, become rich enough to build a bunker or something underground, where he can be safe from the sun exploding.”Our friendly neighbourhood star going supernova may be the only destructive touch missing from 2012. The official trailer for the movie, which opens on Nov. 12, has earthquakes, tsunamis and super-volcanos. Whole cities slide into the ocean, and an aircraft carrier, tossed like a child’s toy, lands on the White House. Religious imagery is even harder hit: the dome of St. Peter’s rolls over the faithful; in Rio de Janeiro the giant statue of Christ the Redeemer crumples to the ground; and a lone Buddhist monk (an ecumenical touch, perhaps) is swept away as a wave crashes over his mountaintop shrine. What brings on this Götterdämmerung is barely hinted at in the trailer; according to early reports, it’s not much clearer in the film itself. Continue…
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So your bank account’s wiped out
By Mark Steyn - Thursday, June 11, 2009 at 2:40 PM - 116 Comments
Given our massive debt load, this fictional apocalyptic scenario’s not looking that bad
“ ‘Hey, Dad, something strange.’“ ‘Yeah?’
“ ‘Listen.’
“He stood there silent for a moment. It was a quiet spring evening, silent except for a few birds chirping, the distant bark of a dog . . . rather nice, actually.
“ ‘I don’t hear anything.’
“ ‘That’s it, Dad. There’s no traffic noise from the interstate.’
“He turned and faced toward the road. It was concealed by the trees . . . but she was right; there was absolute silence. When he had first purchased the house, that had been one disappointment he had not thought of while inspecting it but was aware of the first night in, the rumble of traffic from the interstate a half mile away. The only time it fell silent was in the winter during a snowstorm or an accident . . .
“ ‘Most likely the accident’s further on and people were told to pull over and wait,’ he said.
“The girls nodded . . . It was almost eerie. You figure you’d hear something, a police siren if there was indeed an accident, cars down on old Highway 70 should still be passing by.
“And then he looked up. He felt a bit of a chill.
“This time of day any high-flying jets would be pulling contrails . . . ”
But there aren’t any contrails, or jets. It’s America “one second after,” to use the title of William R. Forstchen’s novel.
