I paid a combined $550 last year for an Asus netbook AND an 8G iPod Touch, Steve Jobs! The “big” one has a camera and can run Flash and Skype—in fact, it can run all those applications, and many others besides, at the same time! Meanwhile, the little one fits in a pants pocket; it’s pretty much the futuristic miniaturized version of the product you rolled out with such fanfare today. I was already fairly sure I didn’t personally have room in my life or budget for your tablet device (isn’t it funny how Apple can make everyone forget there’s a recession?), but I thought maybe there was a chance of some kind of crazy breakthrough in data pricing or mesh computing or gesture recognition or something. Like, maybe you would have something more fundamental to show us than just an overgrown, overpriced iPod?

And I’ve underestimated you before, Steve, but when it comes to this device that’s supposed to rescue my industry—well, are you really married to “iPad”? Because you kind of have the reputation of being an autocrat, and this seems like the paradigm of a marketing decision that an autocrat would make; everyone around him knows it’s messed up, but nobody wants to say anything and have their head bitten off. It seems to me that if you’re trying to move a product that nobody has a crystal-clear need for, that sort of consideration counts double. I’ll shut up now.

A brilliant parody of all things Mac. Nothing is spared. Even the famous ‘1984′ ad gets referenced.  Despite this, the folks at Apple are probably in a pretty good mood this week. Sales have been surprisingly strong as the Christmas shopping season begins. A rare bright spot in this current economic wasteland.

Apple isn’t going to let this Vista advertising debacle drop.  Its latest ad:

It’s gotta wear a guy down constantly having to convince everyone you’re not dead. Steve Jobs had to reassert his worldly existence once again today. It’s becoming an almost weekly event. This time someone posted an item on ireport.com, CNN’s website for so-called citizen journalists, saying Jobs had suffered a heart attack. The stock tanked 5 per cent before Apple said the claim was false. The ireport website advertises itself as “unedited. unfiltered.” How about adding: untrue.

A friend of mine who owns a pile of Apple shares, which have fallen nearly 20 per cent in value over the last couple of months, asked why the stock is so dependent on whether CEO Steve Jobs has recurrent cancer or not. It’s easy to see why he’d think this way . Since the launch of the iPhone 3G last month, Apple shares have not behaved the way they were supposed to, meaning they didn’t skyrocket. Bullish analysts have attributed this failure to launch to continued heavy media attention around Jobs’ gaunt appearance (Saturday’s New York Times said he doesn’t have cancer) and whether Apple’s board should be more forthright about the CEO’s health.

Interesting questions both. And I realize Jobs is an important guy and all. But couldn’t it be that shrewd investors are simply worried about the other jobs in the equation, or the lack thereof? Unemployment is on the rise in the U.S., while consumer confidence has reached lows not seen since this…

… was cutting edge Apple. As one Bloomberg commentator wrote last week, “Optimists Buy IPhones While Pessimists Hoard Gold.” Given the fact the company just lowered its guidance for the last quarter of the year by $500 million, you can’t blame investors for fretting about the jobs issue that really matters. And I’m not talking about the one in the black turtle neck.

In the money: Or at least that’s what Fox is hoping for this fall with its new strategy of shrinking commercial break time on two new shows—Joss Whedon’s Dollhouse (pic, left) and Fringe by J.J. Abrams. In an effort to keep viewers from flipping, the dramas will run 50 minutes long, instead of the standard 42 to 44 minutes. Reportedly, Fox will charge a premium on the remaining ad minutes to make up the difference. There is, however, one tiny problem with this plan: it does nothing to combat the millions of us out there with PVRs and TIVOs who simply fast-forward through all the ads.

Trading down: Wachovia Corp.’s new CEO Robert Steel promised Thursday, his first full day at the office, to “execute like crazy” in an attempt to turnaround the U.S.’s fourth-largest bank, which lost between US$2.6 and $2.8 billion in the second quarter. But his words weren’t enough to alleviate fear among investors that change won’t come quick enough and the share price sunk at one point during the day to a 17-year low. Today hasn’t been any better as the stock tumbled another 7.7 per cent from yesterday’s close in early morning trading. Then again, it’s not as bad as what’s happening to Fannie and Freddie.

Number cruncher: The StatsCan employment numbers for June are out and while the overall picture isn’t that pretty—5,000 fewer jobs last month pushed the unemployment rate up a touch to 6.2 per cent—there is some good news. Continue…