Royal baggage, Putting the hate in Haiti and Heck of a yard sale

By macleans.ca - Friday, January 22, 2010 at 5:55 PM - 0 Comments

Royal baggage
Britain’s royal family doesn’t travel lightly, but not always by choice. Just look at the swag Prince Charles and his wife, Camilla, the duchess of Cornwall, collected on their recent Canadian tour. The list of books, jams, and teapots, recently catalogued on the Prince of Wales’s website, tops out at more than 100 items. It includes his and hers BlackBerries from the premier of Ontario and a bottle of “Victoria gin” from the mayor of Victoria. Meanwhile, Prince William, who visits Australia this week, was asked to help recover the missing skull of Aboriginal warrior Pemulwuy, who was shot dead in 1802 and whose head was sent to England in a glass jar. Elder Michael Mundine says the prince will appreciate the importance of the request because he “has his mother’s heart.”

The manly art of cabinetry
Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s larger-than-expected cabinet shuffle Tuesday didn’t advance the thin ranks of women. Lisa Raitt (she of the “sexy” isotope shortage) is bumped from the natural resources portfolio to labour. Rona Ambrose leaves low-profile labour for the giant public works department. Diane Ablonczy becomes minister of state for seniors, going from the equally obscure small business and tourism. Marjory LeBreton remains government leader in the Senate. Expect Harper to give her a Tory majority there to push through his agenda.

Yup, still crazy
Mehmet Ali Agca, 52, the man who shot Pope John Paul II in 1981, emerged from a Turkish prison Monday and checked into a five-star hotel. In typical bizarre fashion he called himself the “Christ eternal,” proclaimed the coming “end of the world,” and angled for a huge book deal to tell his story. Agca has never revealed why he tried to kill the pope, or if he was acting alone.

Putting the hate in Haiti
U.S. President Barack Obama’s rapid response to the earthquake in Haiti won praise from former president George W. Bush, but it isn’t playing well with America’s extreme right. Radio host Rush Limbaugh said Obama is using the crisis to “burnish” his image “in both the light-skinned and dark-skinned black community in this country.” He also advised against donating to the Red Cross relief fund through a link on the White House website, claiming donors could end up on Obama’s mailing list. Meantime, evangelist and former nominee for the Republican presidential ticket, Pat Robertson, said Haiti suffers because its people made an 18th-century pact with the devil to free themselves from French rule. White House spokesman Robert Gibbs labelled both comments “stupid.”

Fore, and after
Golfer John Daly is a shadow of his former self. The hard-living 44-year-old has lost 116 lb., about the poundage of some women playing the LPGA circuit. Daly credits lap-band surgery, an implanted balloon that constricts the stomach. The results are so striking no one recognized him as he tried to enter a recent party after a pro-am event in Honolulu, where he was serving as host. “If I weighed 300 lb. and had four chins, I’d have no problem getting in,” he said. Fans can share Daly’s attempt to get his life and his game on track. His comeback is the subject of a reality show, Being John Daly, premiering on the Golf Channel in March.

Almost famous
It was an assignment to cover an Elvis convention that hooked Delta, B.C., photographer Brian Howell on the wacky world of celebrity impersonators. From there, the frequent Maclean’s contributor travelled North America searching out faux Mick Jaggers, Johnny Depps, Marilyn Monroes and a southern-fried Colonel Sanders. His exploration of celebrity obsession resulted in a photo book, Fame Us, and now a portrait exhibition at Vancouver’s Windsor Gallery. One who escaped his notice is Annette Edwards. The 57-year-old British great-grandmother spent $16,000 on surgeries to replicate the look of slinky Jessica from the animated film Who Framed Roger Rabbit. “I just think she’s a very sexy cartoon,” she said.

Guess who’s a big soccer fan?
It’s been years since predominantly Muslim Egypt fielded a World Cup-qualifying soccer team, and coach Hassan Shehata seeks the glory of a higher power. “Pious behaviour” is essential to selection on his team. “I strive to make sure that those who wear the Egypt jersey are on good terms with God,” says Shehata. Speaking of which, a near miracle played out on the cricket pitch in New Zealand. Canada earned its first ever World Cup cricket win Friday, defeating Zimbabwe at the under-19 World Cup. “This is the start of hopefully a great future for Canadian cricket,” said team captain Rustam Bhatti.

Heck of a yard sale
Disgraced Montreal money manager Earl Jones, 67, pleaded guilty Friday to defrauding his clients of $50 million over 30 years. Both defence and prosecution are recommending an 11-year sentence, although the 67-year-old will likely serve only a fraction of that behind bars. Jones’s clients face a lifetime of poverty. A charitable assistance fund is spending $5,000 a week in temporary assistance to help 50 seniors whose savings were wiped out. They may see a small share of their money after the sale of four properties previously held by the high-living Jones and his wife—and their contents. A long list of possessions from their Dorval condo, including golf clubs, a golf cart and a Rolex watch, are being auctioned off.

An offer she didn’t refuse
Jackie Collins, the 72-year-old British author of such steamy novels as Hollywood Wives, knows of what she writes. She told U.S. tabloid The Globe she had a fling with actor Marlon Brando when she was just 15. She was attending a Hollywood party with her older sister, actress Joan Collins, when Brando, then about 29, pitched his woo by proxy. “He sent someone over to say, ‘Marlon thinks you’re great-looking and have a great body and would like to meet you,’ ” Collins said. “We had a very brief but fabulous affair. He was at the height of his fame, and gorgeous.” Brando, who died in 2004, could have faced a Roman Polanski-style world of pain had the affair been made public.

Don’t ask me, I’m just the biographer
Rocker Ozzy Osbourne has released I Am Ozzy, his autobiography— or the bits he remembers. As he notes in his introduction: “Other people’s memories of the stuff in this book might not be the same as mine. I ain’t gonna argue with ’em. Over the past 40 years I’ve been loaded on booze, coke, acid, Quaaludes, glue, cough mixture, heroin, Rohypnol, Klon­opin, Vicodin, and too many other heavy-duty substances to list in this footnote . . . I’m not the f–king Encyclopedia Britannica, put it that way. What you read here is what dribbled out of the jelly I call my brain when I asked it for my life story.”

Toy story
Her father’s development of the Frisbee and hula hoop made Elena Marano a wealthy woman, but her ex-husband Peter Marano’s investment in the yo-yo market of London commercial real estate has cost her $8.4 million. Marano is appealing in a British court a settlement requiring her to pay her ex’s real estate losses. He already got an equal share of their $32 million in assets when the 20-year marriage ended in 2007. She claimed her ex’s property portfolio has since rebounded, in a case of “boom, bust and boom again.”

No head games
Just weeks ago Patrice Cormier was the plucky pride of Canada as captain of the national junior team. On Monday, the 19-year-old Rouyn-Noranda Huskies forward was suspended indefinitely by the Quebec hockey league for nailing Mikael Tam of the Quebec Remparts with an elbow to the head. Tam lost teeth, and went into convulsions. It’s the second ugly head-shot in a week to earn a suspension. On Thursday Zach Kassian of the Windsor Spitfires concussed Matt Kennedy of the Barrie Colts.

Jack Benny goes back in the vault
It’s been almost 35 years since the death of comedian Jack Benny, but his international fan club carries on—or tries to. These days, it is spitting mad at CBS. The network had discovered 25 original Benny TV shows long thought lost. The fan club offered to pay to digitize the tapes, which date from the 1950s, and Benny’s family approved the release. But CBS announced it won’t release the prized shows from its archives; there are “issues” blocking their release. Benny received similar shoddy treatment when the network cancelled his show in 1964, says club president Laura Leff. “Sadly, 46 years later, CBS has repeated the sentiment by condemning these shows to permanent silence.” M

Newsmakers '09: Entrances

By Kate Lunau - Thursday, December 10, 2009 at 2:30 PM - 0 Comments

Victoria’s Secret
No longer will underwear aficionados have to gaze longingly south of the border: Victoria’s Secret, the lingerie chain synonymous with romance, glamour and Heidi Klum, is set to launch its first Canadian stores in the new year. For those who can’t wait, little sister store Victoria’s Secret Pink, aimed at university-age girls, opened a few Canadian outlets this year.

Micro pigs
The most in-demand accessory in Hollywood isn’t a handbag or pair of heels—it’s a tiny pig. Micro pigs start out as big as a teacup, and grow to be about the size of a spaniel; they’re clean and sweet-natured, and they love to be around people. David and Victoria Beckham have scooped up two, reportedly at a cost of over $1,200 each; Harry Potter actor Rupert Grint has one, too.

Chinese curling team
Who’ll win curling gold at Vancouver in 2010? China, which just began its curling program in 2000, could be a real contender. In March, the Chinese team defeated Sweden, Olympic champions in 2006, to win the Women’s Curling Championship, making history. Observers are calling the People’s Republic the new curling superpower.

Lottie the Otter
Eighty years after A. A. Milne’s beloved books were published, Winnie the Pooh has a new friend: Lottie the Otter, who appears in the first authorized Pooh sequel, Return to the Hundred Acre Wood. Author David Benedictus describes Lottie as an outspoken otter who’s a stickler for etiquette. Illustrated by Mark Burgess, who brought Paddington Bear to life, she’s a graceful and rare female addition to Pooh’s crew.

Joaquin ‘Shorty’ Guzman
This year saw an unusual addition to Forbes magazine’s list of the world’s wealthiest people. Alongside Bill Gates and Warren Buffett was Joaquin “Shorty” Guzman, a Mexican drug lord. With an estimated net worth of US$1 billion, Guzman heads the Sinaloa cartel, one of the biggest suppliers of cocaine to the U.S. Mexican officials quickly slammed his inclusion as “deplorable.”

Nova Scotia’s first NDP government
June’s vote saw the province get its first-ever NDP government after a decade of Progressive Conservative rule. The NDP trounced the Tories, who were reduced to third-party status. Even Leader Darrell Dexter seemed surprised: “Who would believe that NDP orange would cover Nova Scotia?” he said after the win.

Ardi
Move over, Lucy: a hominid even more primitive than the famous 3.2-million-year-old fossil is now our earliest known ancestor. Ardi, short for Ardipithecus ramidus, is 4.4 million years old; an adult female, she likely stood about four feet tall and weighed 120 lb. With a brain the size of a chimp’s, Ardi could climb trees, yet walked upright on two legs.

Al Franken
Al Franken was once better known for his turn as self-help guru Stuart Smalley on Saturday Night Live. This year, he left the limelight to become Minnesota’s new Democratic senator. Declared the winner after a lengthy recount and legal battle against his Republican rival, Franken marked his arrival in Washington with a sober declaration: “I’m ready to get to work, thank you.”

Shawn A-in-chut Atleo
In Canada, roughly half the native population is under 25. Atleo, a hereditary chief of Vancouver Island’s Ahousaht First Nation, was a fitting choice to represent them: elected national chief of the Assembly of First Nations in July, he was the youngest candidate at age 42 (and the only one whose campaign had a Twitter account). Atleo is not known to shy from a challenge; in his new role he promises he’ll be “kicking down doors.”

Camilla
Canadians’ ambivalence to the royals was on show during the duchess of Cornwall’s first official visit, which was marked by inevitable comparisons to Diana’s. Still, Camilla has Canadian roots: one of her ancestors was premier of Canada West. On a stop at Hamilton’s Dundurn Castle, built for her great-great-great grandfather, she and Prince Charles received one of the largest turnouts of their trip, and were greeted with cries of, “We want the duchess!” Camilla, in a fur-lined cape, replied, “Oh, lovely.”

Gabourey Sidibe
Most of Hollywood’s leading ladies are rail thin, but Gabourey Sidibe, who stars in the film Precious, is just the opposite, reportedly weighing more than 300 lb. But that might be the least remarkable thing about her: Sidibe has received massive praise for her brave performance as a sexual-abuse victim, a poor, illiterate teenager who’s impregnated by her own father. She’ll next star in Yelling to the Sky opposite Don Cheadle.

Seal meat as political rite
On a trip to the Arctic, Governor General Michaëlle Jean sampled the heart of a freshly slaughtered seal, making headlines around the world. Now, everybody’s doing it: in Iqaluit a few months later, Stephen Harper dined on seal meat, offering a public rebuke to Europe’s ban on Canadian sealing products. Cabinet ministers followed suit, and it has been added to the menu at Parliament Hill’s exclusive restaurant, alongside more routine fare like beef tenderloin and salmon.

Nadya Suleman
In January, Suleman, a single mom with six children, gave birth to octuplets, the second set in U.S. history. The story quickly progressed from heartwarming tale to ethical quagmire: the American Society of Reproductive Medicine ejected her fertility doctor after revelations he transferred at least six embryos to the 33-year-old (guidelines would have recommended one or two). Suleman was soon a tabloid freak: reports suggested the so-called “Octomom” would appear alongside fellow reality train-wreck Jon Gosselin on a new show, though the dad of eight denied it.

Sri Lankan Tamil ship
After a decades-long insurgency, Sri Lanka’s Tamil Tigers, viewed by Canada as a terrorist organization, were defeated in that country this year. In the crackdown that followed, some ethnic Tamils fled, including 76 who travelled to B.C. aboard a run-down cargo ship. Seeking refugee status, most were kept in custody in a Vancouver-area detention centre as officials attempted to weed out any terrorists. Still, family members were reportedly relieved: “He’s in Canada, so he’s safe,” one said of his brother.

Jacob Zuma
A goatherd-turned-guerrilla leader, Jacob Zuma seemed an unlikely candidate for South Africa’s top office: the leader of the African National Congress was ridiculed in some quarters for his lack of education, for breaking into song and dance while out campaigning and for his three wives. Largely thanks to his grassroots appeal, he was sworn in as president in May. Arriving at his lavish inauguration, where he knelt at the feet of Nelson Mandela, Zuma had just one wife in tow, which must have meant a bit of a song and dance back home.

Amanda Seyfried
Following last year’s Mamma Mia!, in which she appeared alongside Meryl Streep, the 23-year-old rising star has shown off her remarkable range with two vastly different roles. In the dark comedy Jennifer’s Body (scripted by Oscar-winner Diablo Cody), Seyfried plays a nerdy bookworm. And in Atom Egoyan’s erotic drama Chloe, set in Toronto, she claimed the title role: a prostitute hired by a woman (Julianne Moore) to seduce her own husband (Liam Neeson). For those who prefer her lighter fare, Mamma Mia 2 is on its way.

‘Glee’
The high school musical comedy Glee is the hottest thing on TV, thanks in part to Cory Monteith, a Calgary native, who charms as Finn Hudson, a dreamy football jock who can sing. He appears alongside the rest of the gang at McKinley High, including the fabulously evil cheerleading coach, Sue Sylvester, played with gusto by Jane Lynch. Once the refuge of lonely nerds, glee clubs, thanks to Monteith and his crew, are finally cool.

The royal treatment

By Patricia Treble - Thursday, November 12, 2009 at 11:56 AM - 7 Comments

The scene at Rideau

By Aaron Wherry - Tuesday, November 10, 2009 at 11:14 AM - 16 Comments

The pool report from the meeting of Prince Charles and the Prime Minister this morning.

Their highnesses went on to meet Prime Minister Stephen Harper and his wife Laureen. They went into Rideau Hall’s large drawing room, where they stood beside four Canadian rangers wearing their red sweaters. Harper handed two ranger caps and sweatshirts to the Prince to give to his two sons.

“You highness, as you know we’re very proud of our rangers and our rangers program…a great group of people who patrol our vast arctic territory,” Harper said. “Princes William and Harry are becoming honourary members, so we present this to you as a symbol of their honourary membership.”

“I hope they fit,” quipped Prince Charles.

“One-size fits all,” interjected Laureen Harper.

Prince Charles will wear a Canadian crown

By Patricia Treble - Sunday, November 8, 2009 at 8:34 PM - 5 Comments

Prince Charles might be the longest serving heir to the throne in British, and Canadian, history but he proved on Saturday night that he can wear a crown. At British Columbia’s dinner, he donned a Coast Salish blanket and cedar headband. His wife got the same gifts, which she wore with more aplomb than her husband.

The Victoria, B.C., event came after touring the Olympic Games athletes villages in Vancouver. One could smell the irony of Charles and Camilla looking at Olympic venues that they won’t be seeing during the Games, since neither they nor the Queen have been invited. Instead of having Canada’s head of state or her heir officially open the Vancouver Olympics, Prime Minister Stephen Harper decided that Michaëlle Jean would replicate Jeanne Sauvé’s words from the 1988 Calgary Olympics. It seems that royals are only allowed to officiate at Summer Olympics in Canada. (At the Montreal Games in 1976 the whole royal family accompanied the Queen) Which is a pity, because if the Queen came, grandsons Princes William and Harry would likely have accompanied her, to the delight of screaming girls everywhere.

Charles and Camilla had a light day on Sunday—their only event was dedicating a stained glass window at Christ Church Cathedral and  commemorating the 150th anniversary of the diocese of British Columbia. On Monday, they’ll honour the 100th anniversary of the navy on Monday and then fly to Ottawa.

'Whose idea was this?'

By Patricia Treble - Thursday, November 5, 2009 at 4:32 PM - 21 Comments

The royal couple left the damp and cold of Newfoundland yesterday for the rain and cold of Ontario today. They’d barely walked onto HMCS Haida, tied up in Hamilton’s harbour, when the skies opened. “Whose idea was this?” Prince Charles jokingly asked. At least they got their first Canadian walkabout out of the way before the rain started falling. In sharp contrast to the small number of people turning out to see the heir to the throne and his second wife in Newfoundland, at least 2,000 Canadians manned the barricades in Hamilton. The couple was there to visit Dundurn Castle, built by Camilla’s great-great-great grandfather Sir Allan MacNab.

Charles and Camilla personally greeted all 400 guests at last night’s official welcoming reception at Toronto’s art deco masterpiece, the Carlu (known to older Canadians as Eaton’s seventh floor). Sources say that while Camilla—who wore a spectacular gold and emerald choker with her blue cocktail suit—seemed a bit more fragile than she appears in pictures, she and Charles dutifully shook hands with every person. By then, the 60-something couple was no doubt coping with not only fatigue but also jetlag; their jam-packed day had started in Newfoundland more than 10 hours before.

Today finds the royal couple twirling around southern Ontario before a ceremony at the University of Toronto’s Varsity Stadium to present new regimental colours to the Royal Regiment of Canada and the Toronto Scottish Regiment (Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother’s Own). It should be a spectacular sight if the rain holds off and the wind doesn’t whip.

ITINERARY
Thursday, November 5, 2009 (Hamilton, Niagara-on-the-Lake and Toronto)

Late Morning
Their Royal Highnesses visit Hamilton’s historic Dundurn Castle, built by The Duchess’ ancestor, her great-great-great grandfather, Sir Allan MacNab, Prime Minister of the Province of Canada from 1854-56. They plant a tree in commemoration of their visit.

Afternoon
Their Royal Highnesses tour national historic site, the HMCS Haida. They will meet with volunteers and veterans, open a small museum and unveil a plaque commemorating their visit.

His Royal Highness visits the Niagara College Teaching Winery. Following a tour of the new Wine Visitor and Education Centre facility, His Royal Highness joins a reception and unveils a plaque commemorating the Royal Visit.

Evening
His Royal Highness will present colours to the Royal Regiment of Canada and the Toronto Scottish Regiment (Queen Elizabeth the Queen Mother’s Own) at Varsity Stadium in Toronto. Their Royal Highnesses will meet with members of both regimental families, including serving, retired and civilian supporters

Camilla's fashion fuss

By Patricia Treble - Wednesday, November 4, 2009 at 1:26 PM - 9 Comments

It was only a matter of time before Canada’s often bitter November weather would cause a fuss. And yesterday, on the royal couple’s trip to Cupids Cove Plantation Archaeological Site, it wasn’t so much the small crowds—57 according to the Toronto Star—that caused a fuss but an ancient fur stole that Camilla, duchess of Cornwall wrapped around her neck and tucked into her green tweed coat to ward off the damp and cold. It was nearly invisible, and it must be said, perfectly matched the fake-fur trip on her hat, but PETA was all over it in the British press. Continue…

The Commons: Swallow this impressive-sounding number and call your doctor in the morning

By Aaron Wherry - Tuesday, November 3, 2009 at 6:46 PM - 90 Comments

The Scene. The Prime Minister’s chair, as an inanimate object, was unlikely to answer. But Michael Ignatieff insisted on asking anyway.

“Mr. Speaker, today we learn from the Auditor General that, for its entire time in office, the government has failed to develop any national emergency preparedness plan. That includes planning for epidemics and pandemics like H1N1. Does that not begin to explain why the government’s response to this crisis has been so slow and confused?” he wondered aloud. ”We have heard from the Minister of Health. When will we begin to hear from the Prime Minister? When will he stand up, take responsibility for the government’s mistakes and correct the situation?”

The Prime Minister was otherwise engaged with escorting the Prince and Camilla around rural Newfoundland. John Baird, Mr. Harper’s de facto deputy, was away as well, while the Health Minister was in Vancouver. No worries though, because this seemed to be a question about emergency preparedness and that is distinctly the purview of the Public Safety Minister and that minister, the typically unshy Peter Van Loan, was most certainly in his seat.

And yet, here came Tony Clement, the Minister of Industry and master flailler of arms.

“Mr. Speaker, let me dwell in the realm of facts,” Mr. Clement boldly offered. “The fact of the matter is that there have been six million doses of H1N1 vaccine that have already been delivered to the provinces and territories.

“That’s what you said yesterday!” lamented a Liberal.

“We currently have more H1N1 vaccine per capita than any other country in the world,” Mr. Clement reviewed. “The vaccine is being distributed as quickly as it is being produced and there will be sufficient H1N1 vaccine available in Canada for everyone who in fact needs or wants to be immunized.”

“Merry Christmas!” chirped a Liberal, yesterday’s points and counterpoints now sufficiently covered. Continue…

'Depasse and archaic'

By Aaron Wherry - Tuesday, November 3, 2009 at 3:57 PM - 51 Comments

Gilles Duceppe, not particularly excited about the visit of Charles and Camilla.

“The monarchy is a system that is depasse and archaic,” Duceppe said Tuesday in Montreal. “I call it a genetic lottery. People who say they have blue blood should see their doctor as soon as they can.”

Did the PM plagiarize Prince Charles?

By Patricia Treble - Tuesday, November 3, 2009 at 3:26 PM - 23 Comments

In Prime Minister Stephen Harper’s welcoming speech he quoted what Prince Charles said on an earlier visit: “Every time I come to Canada … a little more of Canada seeps into my bloodstream – and from there straight to my heart.”

Alas, that was what Charles was going to say a few minutes later in his own speech. Rosie DiManno got straight to the point: “This isn’t rocket science. When touring royals deliver prepared comments on these gigs, they routinely submit the speeches in advance for vetting, lest they put their foot in it and say something controversial or actually worth quoting.” It’s hard to fathom how Harper and his staff didn’t know what Prince Charles was going to say. It was either a massive screw-up in the PMO or some sort of nasty political jab at a person whose constitutional role as heir to the throne means that he has to just sit and take it. Continue…

Camilla conquers all

By Rosalind Miles - Monday, November 2, 2009 at 11:23 AM - 24 Comments

Happy endings are for storybooks, not real life. But when Prince Charles arrives in Canada on Nov. 2 with his wife, Camilla, duchess of Cornwall, few Canadians can doubt that something like this has happened to their future king. Not long ago, Charles and the woman dubbed “the Rottweiler” by his then-wife incurred such global disapproval that even his mother had to keep him at arms’-length. Now their first visit as a couple puts the seal of approval on a union that has changed his life.

What a difference a death makes. Able to make an honest woman of his beloved mistress, Charles has been doggedly rebuilding his public image and persuading the world to accept Camilla as his future queen. Hence the importance of Canada, a country he has known and loved all his life. While his last visit was in 2001, it didn’t have the wattage of his 1991 tour with Diana. That’s one of the reasons why, insiders say, he has been pressing to return for a while. Only by bringing Camilla will he put aside the shade of that fragile ghost. Continue…