Senators’ home cooking and a no-fuss wedding

By Mitchel Raphael - Monday, September 12, 2011 at 9:55 AM - 1 Comment

Mitchel Raphael/Maclean's

MP’s big greek wedding

NDP MP Niki Ashton got married to Ryan Barker this month in a quickly organized wedding that took place in Alexandroupoli, Greece, where she has lots of family. “We couldn’t make any life plans until after the May 2 election,” says the MP, and “there is only one season to get married in Greece.” Ashton ordered her dress from the Ann Taylor website. One of her interns, who was also getting married, suggested she check out the site. “I really wanted to keep it simple and I don’t do poofy,” says Ashton. There were no speeches at the wedding. Her Greek family (her mother is Greek) told her that only “boring” politicians speak at their weddings. Ashton’s first language is Greek and she is involved with Canada’s Greek community although, in her Manitoba riding of Churchill, she quips, “there are only 12 of us.”

Ashton is not changing her last name: “I have too many election signs with my name on them to throw them away.” The Greek Orthodox church that married the couple asked them to fill out a form stating what the last names of their children would be. (Having kids is not a matter of choice there, she jokes.) The couple wrote down “Ashton-Barker.” Afterwards, there was a honeymoon in Greece and later Hong Kong, where Ashton had studied 10 years ago at the Li Po Chun United World College. The dates worked out so she could attend her 10-year anniversary.

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Stockwell Day holds up a new sign

By Aaron Wherry - Thursday, September 8, 2011 at 11:05 AM - 12 Comments

Five and a half months removed from cabinet, Stockwell Day says we must summon the courage to consider two-tier health care.

By stubbornly refusing to allow the development of a modern system that allows those who can willingly afford it to buy services, while still providing properly for the rest of us, we are dooming every provincial budget … if we continue to demonize every MLA or MP who wants to at least look at the options and possibilities then we condemn ourselves to higher costs, higher deficits, higher taxes and lower levels of care. Even the socialized systems of European nations allow for fee for service (translation: two tier) systems.

“Two-tier health care” is a rather fraught phrase that can be interpreted variously, but the idea of “fee for service” health care is seemingly what Mr. Day rejected when confronted with this issue in 2000.

Power to the people

By Aaron Wherry - Friday, August 12, 2011 at 1:50 PM - 2 Comments

In light of events in British Columbia and Wisconsin, Greg Fingas defends direct democracy initiatives.

The leading example is of course California, whose combination of conflicting citizen initiatives and political gridlock has made it virtually impossible to make reasonable budgetary decisions or carry out any long-term planning. And direct democratic processes shouldn’t serve as the only outlet for citizen involvement between elections. Indeed, both of the above examples could have been avoided if the governments involved had consulted with residents to determine whether their policy choices were even faintly defensible.

But there’s always some risk that a government that believes itself to be four years away from any accountability might push far beyond the limits of reasonable political choice. And some mechanism for citizens to take back our representative authority in case of emergency might work wonders to reduce the danger of overreach in the future.

Why Jack Layton needed a human shield

By Mitchel Raphael - Monday, July 11, 2011 at 9:50 AM - 0 Comments

Elizabeth May

Politicians with bad hips

At Toronto’s 31st annual Pride Parade it was all about party leaders in rickshaws. Green Leader Elizabeth May rode in one as she has in every parade since having a hip replaced in 2007. This time, NDP Leader Jack Layton, who still walks with a cane after hip surgery, was pulled in one covered in rainbow flags. His team was prepared for all the people who insist on spraying politicians with huge water guns—a nightmare for anyone with a BlackBerry. At one point Layton’s wife, MP Olivia Chow, took a water cannon shot in the back to protect him. Chow then opened a rainbow umbrella to deflect further H20 assaults from Layton’s left flank; a volunteer opened a huge orange umbrella to protect him on the right. May is waiting to have surgery on her other hip and says after that she will be able to walk in the Pride Parade. The Liberal MP presence was diminished this year. Interim leader Bob Rae and Carolyn Bennett were the only two elected Grit MPs. Rob Oliphant, who was defeated in the last election, was also in attendance. Rae’s wife, Arlene Perly Rae, demonstrated powerful arm strength as she tossed bead necklaces into the crowd. One shot accidentally hit a photographer and she quickly went over and apologized.

‘Screw the cottage’

There was much anger and campy commentary over Toronto Mayor Rob Ford’s snub of all Pride festivities. (Ford said he always goes to his cottage for Canada Day weekend and would not be attending Pride.) Former Toronto mayors were well represented. David Miller and Barbara Hall marched and Mel Lastman sent a letter that was read at the Metropolitan Community Church service before the parade began. Ford mockers were out in force. One man dressed as Ford held a sign saying “Screw the cottage.” Many wore Ford masks. “More people wore them on their ass than their face, which sums it up,” noted Fab magazine associate editor Drew Rowsome.

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The Commons: Humble brag

By Erica Alini - Friday, June 10, 2011 at 11:14 PM - 18 Comments

Across the street and behind a metal barricade, a young man in a bike helmet, holding a pink sign that read “contempt,” was yelling at Conservative delegates as they filed into the giant glass orb that is the Ottawa convention centre. He yelled about the G8 and the $50 million. He yelled about Bev Oda. He yelled about the defeated candidates now in the Senate. He yelled the word “mockery” more than a few times. Most of the delegates ignored him. Some smiled and laughed and waved.

The man in the bike helmet was eventually joined by about 300 others waving various signs for various reasons. “Beat Back The Tory Attack On Reproductive Justice,” read one. “Whither Joe Clark,” read another. The noisy gathering eventually settled on a simple enough chant: “Hey Har-per! You! Suck!” Later there was something about no one being illegal or some such sentiment. Somewhere in the middle of it all was apparently the rogue Senate page.

Inside the orb, the proceedings were running rather late. Eventually, about a half hour behind schedule, Veterans Affairs Minister Steven Blaney and Senator Pamela Wallin turned up to play host. After throwing to “floor reporters” Mike Duffy and Jacques Demers from interviews with various members of the crowd, Mr. Blaney and Ms. Wallin got around to expounding on how fondly they regarded Stephen Harper. Continue…

Harper's promise: a warrantless online surveillance state

By Jesse Brown - Wednesday, April 13, 2011 at 7:56 AM - 109 Comments

“We are not in any way shape or form wanting extra powers for police to pursue [information online] without warrants.”

That was Stockwell Day, speaking to me in 2007. He was the Harper government’s public safety minister at the time, and his office came into controversy when consultation documents surfaced suggesting that the Conservatives were drafting a “lawful access” crime bill that would greatly expand the powers of police to obtain personal information about Canadians from their Internet service providers without court oversight.

If such a bill were to become law, cops would no longer need a warrant to trace, say, an Internet comment to a citizen’s name, IP address, email address, home address, and cell phone number. In fact, as long as the police had any one of the above, they could request the rest of the info from ISPs without a judge ever considering the need for such disclosure.

But Minister Day was emphatic—my concerns were misplaced, the controversy unnecessary. He had no intention of proposing any such bill. He claimed that the leaked document was a leftover from the previous Liberal administration. He later told the Ottawa Citizen that though such powers would help the police, they were an affront to “our expectation of rights to privacy.”

And warrantless web tracing?

“That is not the path we’re walking down at all, ” said Day.

Two years later, the Conservatives walked down that path.

After a cabinet shuffle, the public safety minister in June 2009 was Peter Van Loan, and he sang a very different tune to me about the need for expanded police powers.

Van Loan tabled a ‘lawful access’ bill that would give police exactly the powers Stockwell Day told me they wouldn’t need. The new minister saw this as no big deal—Canadians, he told me, had “no reasonable expectation of privacy” when it came to this information. In other words, when you leave a comment on this website under a pseudonym, it is unreasonable for you to expect that the police will not be able to trace it to your name, cell number, home address, email address, and other web activity, by linking it to your I.P. address. Such information, he told me, is just like a listing in the phone book.

Others begged to differ. The Ottawa Citizen called the ‘lawful access’ bill “out of balance,” Colby Cosh called it “a bogus, ill-advised expansion of State power,” and the Montreal Gazette called it “unnecessary” and, more to the point, “bad”.

Last month, Canada’s privacy commissioner, Jennifer Stoddart, along with every provincial privacy commissioner in the country, sent Public Safety Canada a letter expressing their concerns about the lawful access bill. Namely, they didn’t see any need for it—ISPs already hand over whatever information police ask for, without a warrant, when the cops claim there is immediate danger or child endangerment. They called the bill “problematic”  and wrote that there was “insufficient justification” for the new powers, suggesting “less intrusive” ways for law enforcement to fight crime.

For years, lawful access has been bouncing around, awaiting debate and modification as yet another cabinet shuffle brought Vic Toews into the public safety minister’s office.  Now the Harper campaign promises us that all their outstanding crime bills will be bundled together and shoved through Parliament within 100 days of a Conservative victory.

It’s a promise to do significant damage to the civil liberties of every Canadian, and one Harper’s opponents would do well to pounce on.

'Freely and unconditionally'

By Aaron Wherry - Friday, March 18, 2011 at 12:47 PM - 7 Comments

Michael Geist notes that the disrepute clause has been used since 2008 and considers the larger culture change at hand.

The government may revise the licence by removing the disrepute term, but I think a larger issue will remain … if licences could talk, this one would say “this is our data and here is how we the government will allow you the public to use it.” But open government means accepting that government data is the public’s data and that the government’s obligation is not to control it, but to make it as freely and unconditionally available to the public as reasonably possible. The right approach in addressing concerns over the new Canada open data portal is not to make a small change in the licence terms by dropping the disrepute provision. It is to drop the current licence altogether, instead adopting a simplified, open licence that tells Canadians it is their data and (subject to reasonable attribution requirements) they are free to access, use, and reuse it without restrictions.

Better government through datasets (III)

By Aaron Wherry - Thursday, March 17, 2011 at 11:33 PM - 10 Comments

A note from Stockwell Day’s office, received just now in regards to the “disrepute” clause cited here.

It was never our intent to limit freedom of expression, which is a Charter right.  That clause is being removed from the licence.

Better government through datasets (II)

By Aaron Wherry - Thursday, March 17, 2011 at 3:43 PM - 18 Comments

David Eaves lauds the creation of a new open data portal, but questions the fine print (which includes a clause that users  ”shall not use the data made available through the GC Open Data Portal in any way which, in the opinion of Canada, may bring disrepute to or prejudice the reputation of Canada”).

The license on data.gc.ca is deeply, deeply flawed. Some might go so far as to say that the license does not make it data open at all – a critique that I think is fair. I would say this: presently the open data license on data.gc.ca effectively kills any possible business innovation, and severally limits the use in non-profit realms.

Better government through datasets

By Aaron Wherry - Thursday, March 17, 2011 at 1:51 PM - 25 Comments

Treasury Board President Stockwell Day has launched the government of Canada’s official open data portal: data.gc.ca.

The Open Data Portal is a one-stop shop for federal Government data, providing data that can be downloaded free of charge. The portal facilitates access to datasets available on websites to citizens, researchers, voluntary organizations and the private sector. Application developers can reuse and mashup the data from the portal for commercial purposes, research, or community services to benefit all Canadians in a variety of ways.

This pilot portal will initially bring together more than 260,000 datasets from the following ten participating departments available to all Canadians: Agriculture and Agri-Food Canada; Citizenship and Immigration Canada; Environment Canada; Department of Finance Canada; Fisheries and Oceans Canada; Library and Archives Canada; Natural Resources Canada; Statistics Canada; Transport Canada; and the Treasury Board Secretariat.

Stockwell Day, so-con icon, bows out

By John Geddes - Monday, March 14, 2011 at 12:08 PM - 16 Comments

News that he isn’t going to run again in the next federal election has me thinking back on my favourite Stockwell Day stories, one of which features a telling one-liner from Gerry Ritz on the sensitive subject of religion in conservative politics.

It was late in the winter of 2002, and Day was running what turned out to be a losing campaign against Stephen Harper for the leadership of the Canadian Alliance.  In a meeting room above a curling rink in suburban Ottawa, Day had just delivered a bravura performance, energizing his supporters by portraying himself as the victim of both the national media elite’s scorn for social conservatives and the machinations of shadowy “backroom” schemers in his own party.

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Au revoir, Stockwell Day

By Aaron Wherry - Saturday, March 12, 2011 at 10:47 AM - 269 Comments

The current President of the Treasury Board and the former leader of the Canadian Alliance won’t seek reelection.

After 14 years in provincial government in Alberta and almost 11 in federal politics, Day said it was “time to move on.” “Though there would be exciting and satisfying days ahead in public office, after prayerful consideration, Valorie and I feel at peace with our decision,” Day said in a statement, referring to his wife.

Our John Geddes chronicled Stockwell Day’s rise extensively, including pieces here, here and here.

PM Arthur Meighen finally officially hung

By Mitchel Raphael - Wednesday, March 2, 2011 at 8:00 AM - 1 Comment

In an effort to correct a historical oversight, the portrait of the ninth Prime Minister, Arthur Meighen, was officially hung. While the portrait has been up in Centre Block for decades, Meighen never got an official dedication ceremony, an oversight discovered by historian Arthur Milnes, while he was working on a revised book of Meighen speeches, Unrevised and Unrepented II. Below, former PM Joe Clark (left) and Foreign Affairs Minister Lawrence Cannon in front of the portrait.

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Prime Minister Stephen Harper.

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The overcoat a former PM's wife just couldn't lose

By Mitchel Raphael - Monday, February 28, 2011 at 10:25 AM - 4 Comments

The Senator and the ballet

New Brunswick Sen. Carolyn Stewart Olsen, who served as one of Stephen Harper’s key communications advisers, hosted the Atlantic Ballet Theatre of Canada at the National Arts Centre. The event was the world premiere of Ghosts of Violence, which tackles the subject of women who have died at the hands of an intimate partner. Stewart Olsen has helped the ballet raise both private and public funding. It was her first experience with arts funding and she said she has found it one of her most rewarding experiences so far as a senator. The new Progressive Conservative premier of New Brunswick, David Alward, attended and confessed it was his first ballet. It was also the first ballet for Jen Heague-Morse of Ottawa, who found it a particularly moving event. When people walked into the theatre they were greeted by life-size wooden cut-outs of women who had been killed. Each had a plaque with information about the victim. One of them was Morse’s mother, Brenda Lee Chillingworth.

Medal count: Rae 2, Iggy 1

At last week’s Politics & the Pen gala, Anna Porter took home the $25,000 Shaughnessy Cohen Prize for political writing for her book The Ghosts of Europe: Journeys Through Central Europe’s Troubled Past and Uncertain Future. Porter joked that when she saw Laureen Harper wasn’t in attendance she was sure Lawrence Martin must have won for Harperland: The Politics of Control. As is the tradition at the gala, many attendees sported one of two medals indicating whether they were a writer or a politician. Liberal MP Bob Rae, who has penned several books, got to wear both medals. Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff, who has written a huge number of books, got only the politician medal; Green Leader Elizabeth May was reduced to “writer.”

Another Joe Clark record smashed

In an effort to correct a historical oversight, the portrait of Canada’s ninth prime minister, Arthur Meighen, was officially hung. The portrait has been up in the Centre Block for decades, but Meighen never got an official dedication ceremony, an oversight discovered by historian Arthur Milnes while he was working on a revised book of Meighen speeches, Unrevised and Unrepented II. In attendance was Joe Clark, who served as PM in 1979 and 1980, but didn’t have his portrait hung until 2008. “Another one of my records broken,” Clark joked. Sen. Michael Meighen told a funny story about how his grandfather wore clothing until it fell apart. One overcoat in particular was in such shambles Meighen’s wife tossed it from a train. She was shocked when it was returned in the mail, courtesy of a railway worker who found it and identified the owner from the name stitched in the lining. Earl Porter, the mayor of Portage la Prairie, Man., Meighen’s hometown, was given a special invite to the ceremony. Porter noted that renovations on Meighen’s house, declared a heritage property about a decade ago, are almost complete.

Not impressed with William’s visit

When the PM was asked during question period about the upcoming visit of Prince William and Catherine Middleton, there was much boisterous heckling, as it was clearly an attempt to change the channel on the crisis over Bev Oda and the word “not.” When the PM noted, “I am sure Canadians will be as wildly enthusiastic in their reception of this visit as all members of the House appear to be,” Bloc Québécois Leader Gilles Duceppe responded with his hands in a frenzy of disgust.

Jack needs to stretch

NDP Leader Jack Layton joins a growing list of MPs with leg and foot injuries—including Stockwell Day and Jean-Pierre Blackburn. What started as a small fracture in his foot from exercising turned into something worse. Layton’s wife, Toronto MP Olivia Chow, says he, like too many men, does not stretch when exercising.

Conservatives celebrate 5 years in power

By Mitchel Raphael - Tuesday, February 15, 2011 at 9:05 AM - 12 Comments

Tories turned out at the Hard Rock Cafe for a party in honour of staying in power for five years. (L-R) Val Day, Treasury Board President Stockwell Day, Laureen Harper.

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Labour Minister Lisa Raitt.

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Stephen Harper and Canada, a love story (IV)

By Aaron Wherry - Wednesday, February 9, 2011 at 9:04 AM - 251 Comments

Eleven years before he declared himself and his side to be “Canadians first and only,” Stephen Harper declared his allegiance to an Alberta quite apart from Canada.

The following op-ed was published by the National Post on December 8, 2000, shortly after that year’s federal election. Sorting out how he got from writing what appears here to saying what he says now probably goes as far as any question towards sorting out Stephen Harper. Continue…

First week fashion on the Hill

By Mitchel Raphael - Friday, February 4, 2011 at 2:20 PM - 2 Comments

MPs show off some new looks for the beginning of the new session. Below, Liberal MP Siobhan Coady and her sealskin ear muffs.

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Treasury Board President Stockwell Day in a foot cast.

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How Stockwell Day got crutches and lost his shirt

By Mitchel Raphael - Friday, February 4, 2011 at 2:00 PM - 3 Comments

Was it Gerard Kennedy’s cologne?
Illness and injuries seemed to be the theme of the day as the House of Commons resumed last Monday. Treasury Board President Stockwell Day was on crutches. “There was a puppy on a railroad… ” Day quipped. The truth, he confessed, was that a giant Labrador retriever came out of nowhere and knocked him down while he was on a run. Day now has a severe ankle injury. The dog didn’t just run him down: as he was running, Day was holding his shirt in his hand; after the fall, the dog grabbed the shirt and ran off with it.

Ontario NDP MP Glenn Thibeault slipped on some ice over the break, fracturing his arm and suffering severe hand injuries. Which meant, he says, that he could no longer do his hair. At one point it was looking like a comb-over, so he decided to just shave his head. He returned to Ottawa with a short buzz.

Quebec Liberal MP Alexandra Mendes showed up to question period wearing a medical mask. She was on day six of pneumonia. (It looks like the post-H1N1 trend of not coming to work on the Hill if you are sick is now officially over.) Her seatmate Gerard Kennedy asked whether she was trying to save him or was allergic to him. Later, Ted Menzies, the minister of state for finance, quipped to Mendes: “We thought Gerard just had strong cologne.” Other Conservatives joked about how the Liberals are literally muzzling their MPs.

Why’s Peter Kent so far away?
The House’s first day back for 2011 saw Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff ask the first five questions in question period, as opposed to just the first three. He has done this before, but Liberal MPs say watch for more QPs with Ignatieff piling on the first questions. Since this Prime Minister’s press conferences are few and far between, at least Stephen Harper now has to answer more questions in a public forum. Also on the first day back, Green party Leader Elizabeth May says she was not impressed with the remote seating position assigned the new environment minister. Peter Kent is now on the front bench, but is the second-last Conservative seat from the Speaker, down where the NDP sit. “We’ve never had an environment minister way down there,” says May.

Much ado over size
The first day of Parliament saw Speaker Peter Milliken throw his annual Robbie Burns dinner. This year, Ontario Conservative MP Ed Holder had the honour of addressing the haggis. When he pulled out a small knife to cut the Scottish delicacy, there were many chuckles. One MP shouted out, “Bill Blaikie‘s was bigger.” (The former NDP MP addressed the haggis with a sword.) Holder then pulled out a larger knife, to the delight of the crowd. This was Milliken’s 10th Robbie Burns dinner and likely his last as Speaker, since he does not plan to run in the next election. In honour of Milliken, a set of bagpipes was donated to the Rob Roy Pipe Band in Kingston, Ont., the city Milliken represents, for young people who want to learn to play the expensive instrument.

The tartan bazaar
The Cape Breton Highlanders were recently reinstated. (Formed in 1871, in 1954 they were combined with two other Nova Scotia battalions and renamed the Nova Scotia Highlanders.) Cape Breton Liberal MP Mark Eyking helped the brigade get reinstated, and for that he was made an honorary member. He says he now needs to get a kilt, but quips, “Can a Dutchman be a Highlander?” He says his wife, Pamela Eyking, is half-Scottish, so he is going to use her family tartan (the Gordon). Coincidentally, Defence Minister Peter MacKay, through his mother’s side of the family, already has a Gordon family tartan kilt, which he wore to Peter Milliken’s Robbie Burns dinner. MacKay said he would give Eyking his Gordon tartan kilt if Eyking would have a MacKay tartan kilt made up for the defence minister.

The Commons: The hangover and the afterglow

By Aaron Wherry - Thursday, December 9, 2010 at 6:35 PM - 43 Comments

The Scene. The Speaker rose and announced that a new member had arrived and here a short, balding, baby-faced man appeared at the entrance to the House. This man was Kevin Lamoureux, the victorious Liberal candidate in the recent by-election ordered to fill the vacancy in the riding of Winnipeg-North.

In keeping with tradition, the leader of the new member’s assigned party was dispatched to retrieve him. Michael Ignatieff, finding something here for which he could surely not be blamed, positively beamed as he took Mr. Lamoureux by the arm and led him to where he would be formally introduced to the Speaker. All sides stood to applaud as Mr. Lamoureux made his way down the aisle, the Liberals hooting and hollering most of all. As he then went to find his seat, various members of the official opposition reached out to shake his hand. Hedy Fry planted a kiss on his cheek.

Momentum here seeming to swing on the most flimsy and fleeting of grounds—a bit like a professional wrestling crowd, only less rational—the official opposition was obviously chuffed, noticeably buoyant. If the government had spent last night dancing and singing and feigning interest in the ideals of John Lennon, this was apparently the opposition’s turn to revel for the cameras.  Continue…

Ask yourself this: do you have more pandas now than you did four years ago?

By Aaron Wherry - Monday, November 1, 2010 at 12:03 PM - 0 Comments

Sure, we were not successful in winning a seat on the security council, but hey, look over there: pandas!

The federal Conservatives have been dabbling in panda politics for several months now, hoping that improved relations over the past year or so would convince Chinese officials to lend two pandas to Canada. In May, Treasury Board president Stockwell Day presented a panda proposal to high-ranking Chinese politicians. In July, then-governor general Michaelle Jean also made a pitch to bring the bamboo-eating animals to Canada during a tour of the Chengdu Panda Base with Prentice and other officials, pressing the governor of Sichuan province, home to the vast majority of China’s pandas.

“It is an indication of just how far we’ve come in terms of the relationship. The Chinese are very careful about the pandas and where they allow long-term transfers,” Prentice added.

Harper and Ignatieff’s very different inner circles

By John Geddes - Thursday, October 7, 2010 at 10:00 AM - 0 Comments

Tibor Kolley/Globe and Mail/ Photograph by Blair Gable

If there were any doubts left about the stark difference between the teams assembled by Prime Minister Stephen Harper and Liberal Leader Michael Ignatieff, two recent top-level recruits to their rival staffs should go a long way toward putting them to rest. Harper reached into the rarified ranks of Toronto’s business elite to find a new chief of staff—Nigel Wright, maker of multi-billion-dollar deals at Onex Corp. Ignatieff raided the foreign service to fill his opening for a principal secretary—Patrick Parisot, who has served as Canadian ambassador to Chile, Portugal and, most recently, Algeria.

Those who know them would quickly protest that “businessman” doesn’t sum up Wright any more than “diplomat” captures Parisot. Both are partisan political creatures, too. As a young lawyer, Wright worked in Brian Mulroney’s PMO during two stints in the mid-1980s and early 1990s. At various times he’s been connected to the circles of Treasury Board President Stockwell Day and former Ontario premier Mike Harris. Parisot served former prime minister Jean Chrétien in senior communications and strategy posts from 1993 until 2001, when Chrétien rewarded him with his first job as an ambassador.

Yet these appointments signal more than the natural tendency of political leaders to tap the talents of devoted partisans. In choosing Wright, Harper has continued his clear pattern of relying almost exclusively on top aides who have never worked inside the federal public service. And in hiring Parisot, Ignatieff has kept up his habit of filling out his staff with precisely the sort of federal public service veterans who aren’t finding employment these days in the PMO.

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Memo to the new chief of staff, poor sod

By Scott Feschuk - Thursday, October 7, 2010 at 10:00 AM - 0 Comments

Photo Illustration by Taylor Shute Here's the thing: As a rule, the PM does not wish to be spoken to, looked at, drawn by children or otherwise disturbed. Your job is to make it so.

In the news: Nigel Wright, a prominent Bay Street executive, has been hired to run the Prime Minister’s Office.

Dear Successful Applicant:

Congratulations on being named chief of staff to Stephen Harper. You follow in a line of individuals who have occupied this important position until growing weary of the time commitment and spankings. As a general rule, Mr. Harper does not wish to be spoken to, looked at, thought about, drawn by children or otherwise disturbed—except in the event of a national emergency or the guys from Loverboy wanting to jam.

Before attempting to contact the Prime Minister, therefore, please consult this list of frequently asked questions:

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The Commons: The only thing we have to fear is total doom

By Aaron Wherry - Tuesday, September 21, 2010 at 6:27 PM - 0 Comments

The Scene. The Conservative government has, to whatever credit should be assigned for such things, recently decided upon a straightforward appeal to you, the well-meaning voter. Vote for us, they now say, or risk the complete and total annihilation of your country. Do as we say, or face the end of everything you hold dear. Don’t even think of quibbling, unless you are willing to be remembered by your children as the monsters who bequeathed them a broken wasteland of despair. Give us a majority, or Michael Ignatieff will shoot this dog.

“Under an Ignatieff-NDP-Bloc Québécois government, nothing would be safe,” the Finance Minister told an audience at a posh Ottawa hotel this afternoon.

“They want to throw it all away. They want to cancel the contract or review the contract,” Industry Minister Tony Clement cried out to the House a short while after, putting scary finger quotes around the word ‘review’ as he responded to a Liberal suggestion that the government had moved too hastily to commit $16 billion to new fighter jets. “The minute they do that, all of those contracts—and there are 60 contracts already extant for this plane for Canadian companies—all of those contracts go on hold, too. That is irresponsible. They are threatening Canadian jobs.”

“Mr. Speaker, it probably should not surprise me, but it still does, to hear how quickly and easily members of the opposition, including the NDP, are approving of jail time or large fines for their fellow Canadians who refuse, out of good conscience, to fill out a 40-page questionnaire with very personal information,” Mr. Clement said later when presented with the possibility that his government had erred in its decision to replace the long-form census. “It is incredible how they will sacrifice Canadians’ rights on this matter.”

“The choice is clear,” Mr. Flaherty finally declared for the benefit of the House. “A Conservative government that creates jobs or a coalition government that will kill jobs.”

In fact, that would seem to put it mildly—Mr. Flaherty declining here to mention previous warnings about the criminal gangs that would rule our streets and the Russian hordes that would be clamouring over our borders were it not for this government’s courageous administration. Continue…

Stockwell Day on home invasions: more from his news conference [UPDATED]

By John Geddes - Wednesday, August 4, 2010 at 5:23 PM - 0 Comments

Stockwell Day has come under what has to be unwelcome scrutiny over his remarks yesterday about how unreported crime justifies spending billions on new prisons. I guess that’s to provide cells in which to lock up the unreported criminals. The upside is that crowding shouldn’t be an issue.

Day is Treasury Board President now, but used to be Public Safety minister, which might explain his willingness to hold forth on law-and-order issues. In the same eventful news conference, he offered a rather dramatic justification for the government’s push to make sure more convicted criminals serve long terms behind bars. This quote is a bit shambling, but here’s a chunk of what he said:

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