Samll Balls

By Steve Maich - Monday, June 30, 2008 at 10:58 AM - 0 Comments

La première étoile: The entire nation of Spain! Viva Espana! Spain Spain Spain! Land of fine hams and lovely weather! Also, really good at soccer! Hurrah!

Two minutes for… Indecision. Really Mats, It’s not that hard. I know that the trendy thing to do, these days, is to go all Niedermayer, and spend the summer on a deck someplace, doing a Hamlet impression. But really…you’re a multi-millionaire athlete, and there’s really only one question to answer: do you want to play or not?  Kindly come up with an answer while there is still one lonely strand of DNA in my being that gives a crap.

Who’s got tickets? Wimbledon. Big day on the grass courts. So big, in fact, even I have heard of several of the players in action: Federer, Nadal, Murry.  And, courtesy of the great sports time machine: The Williams Sisters! I thought they were full time fashion designers by now

Fun police: A swimmer has swum faster than any swimmer before. Splendid. Good for you Michael Phelps. You are the envy of aquatic animals everywhere. But I still share the late, great, George Carlin‘s view.  Swimming is not a sport.  Swimming is a way  to keep  from drowning.

Extra bases:

Kevin Lowe is quietly building an interesting team in Edmonton. Newest addition Lubo Visnovsky from the L.A. Kings gives them some real fire power on the blueline, especially is Souray can find a way to stay healthy…. Chipper Jones is hitting .394 at the end of June, and is heading for a (hopefully-brief) stay on the DL. Get healthy chipper, and make a run for .400….   Let me say that I love Manny Ramirez. But manny is starting to act even crazier than usual. And it’s not that endearing “isn’t Manny so wonderfully strange?!?” kind of crazy. It’s, like, unstable crazy.  If I’m Terry Francona, I want to fix that….  No…No…No…No…Noooo!

Leafs start dumping players

By Cameron Ainsworth-Vincze - Tuesday, June 24, 2008 at 1:29 PM - 0 Comments

In what is surely just the tip of the iceberg when it comes to the Leafs off-season game plan to purge itself of salary and less-than-stellar players, Kyle Wellwood and Andrew Raycroft have been placed on waivers. I can understand getting rid of “red-light” Raycroft (not to mention that it cost the team a future blue-chip prospect in Tuukka Rask), but I was really hoping Wellwood would put down the doughnuts and start showing some of that magic we all know he is capable of producing on a nightly basis. Wellwood would be a nice addition to a team looking for a power-play specialist and a third-line centre who doesn’t need to play more than 12 minutes a game. As for Raycroft, he needs to stop going down to his knees every time a player crosses the blueline–as illustrated in the picture to the left.

Sundin not playing ball

By Charlie Gillis - Tuesday, June 24, 2008 at 12:18 PM - 0 Comments

The saga continues. According to this update from TSN’s Bob McKenzie, whose information is generally solid, Sundin is likely going to wait it out ’til July 1. Contrary to earlier reports (to which we foolishly linked), Bob Gainey has not yet flown to Sweden. He’d just like to.

So we thought we’d catalogue the reasons Mats might not be so eager to join the Habs. Add any you please, within the bounds of good taste (i.e. no franco-baiting):

• Taxes. Players in Quebec pay more than any in the league.

• Habit. He’s spent his life battling the bleu, blanc et rouge, first with the Nords, now with the Leafs. This would be like changing religions.

• Loyalty to the Leafs. Apparently this stuff matters to him, and it sounds like Toronto has made Sundin an offer which he has not yet refused. Continue…

Sundin watch

By Charlie Gillis - Monday, June 23, 2008 at 12:58 PM - 0 Comments

So much has happened, hockey fans. Let’s recap.

• As per last Friday’s post, it turns out the Leafs are so determined not to let Mats skate into the sunset without compensation they dealt “negotiating” rights to him to Bob Gainey and the Habs before the July 1 free-agent signing deadline. Huh? Without a copy of the National Hockey League’s 17,000-page CBA at our fingertips—not to mention legal counsel and six hours to blow—we can only assume this is permitted.

• Essentially, the two teams have a deal in place that would be triggered should Sundin sign with les glorieux before Canada Day. What kind of deal? Good question. But pointier heads suggest it could involve a second-round pick, and/or speedy Habs centre Mikhail Grabovski. Either (or both) represents decent return for a player who has clearly had enough of the Leafs Alternate Dimension—sorry, Nation. It would however mean one of the best -nicknamed lines in history, will never play together again. That would be Alex Kovalev, Grabovski and Andrei Kostitsyn—or, as Habs fans knew them for their brief time together, Kovy-Grabs-Tits.

• Bob Gainey has reportedly flown himself and his owlish visage to Sweden to talk to Shrek. Could be the least photogenic summit of all time. Small children: avert your gaze. Continue…

Petit Balls

By Steve Maich - Monday, June 23, 2008 at 12:45 PM - 0 Comments

First Star: I nearly failed grade nine french, and I already have to deal with the indignity of knowing that the Habs are a solid young team, getting better, while my Leafs are a terrible team committed to get worse before they begin to improve, so excuse me, but on Mondays this section is going to be called “first star.”  (Plus, I don’t know how to make accents on this keyboard.) Anyway, the first star today is Spanish goalkeeper Iker Casillas who led his team to victory over Italy yesterday making several key stops, including the one you’ll see below, and stopping not one but two penalty kicks to decide the game.

[YouTube = http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=bZ9bWkwID00]

Two minutes for: fixing what ain’t broken. Matt stairs tees off on recently-fired hitting coach Gary Denbo. Not nice to dance on a guy’s grave, but Stairs makes an excellent point. One of the keys to coaching is recognizing the strengths and weaknesses of your players and getting them to focus on what they do well. Denbo wanted to turn everybody into Lyle Overbay – working the count and shooting the ball to the opposite field – which might explain why Overbay is one of the guys who appears in the story to defend Denbo.

Anybody got tickets to: Wimbledon. That is, if you like tennis, and white tennis outfits. I like neither, because I think generally tennis is a game played by snobs and private school boys. But I understand the sport is pretty popular, and it’s a slow day in the world of sports, so here you go tennis fans. Have some strawberries with cream, and prepare to watch Roger Federer beat the snot out of everybody…again.

Fun Police: Why, why , why does everybody in Leaf land have their knickers in a knot about Mats Sundin joining the Habs? The Leafs are a non-playoff team, begining a long, slow re-build. Sundin is a veteran superstar at the end of his career. It’d be nice if he hung around to help keep the team halfway respectable, and help teach the young guys something about being a pro. But if he’s not going to sign in Toronto, it doesn’t matter where he signs. Michael Farber on the weekend was comparing this to Johnny Damon jumping from the Red Sox to the Yankees. One key difference, the Sox and Yanks were highly competitive at the time. There is no Leafs/Habs rivalry until the Leafs get better.

Extra bases: Good bye TJ, Hello J.O.?; Cool story about Nashville Predators first round picks Colin Wilson and Chet Pickard both getting cut from the same kids’ team when they were 14. Hey coach IN YOUR FACE!; Amazing and depressing story on the impact that suit technology is having on the sport of swimming. “By compressing his torso, the LZR not only lets him go faster, because it maintains a tubular shape, but also allows him to swim longer with less effort.” Read the whole thing and you’ll soon agree with me that if it’s not lycra/spandex, it should be illegal. Honestly, baseball says bats must be wooden. Why can’t swimming say suits must be Lycra/spandex?

The rumour that won't die

By Charlie Gillis - Friday, June 20, 2008 at 4:28 PM - 0 Comments

Foghorn Dreghorn, TSN’s “Insider,” reports that the Habs are still interested in landing Sundin, and suggests the Leafs are shopping the rights to the big galoot in advance of tonight’s draft. So what price the privilege of negotiating with Shrek II over the week before the July 1 signing deadline? 

Couple of thoughts: if Montreal is indeed talking to Sundin’s agent, it’s with a view to confirming A.) whether Sundin plans to play next year B.) that they can reach wink-wink nudge-nudge agreement with him before they give the Leafs anything good.

If the answers to the foregoing are yes—and that’s a big if—Bob Gainey would still be ill-advised to relinquish his 25th overall pick tonight. Or that handful of magic beans Cliff Fletcher wants. Sundin just doesn’t have that many miles left on him. The Leafs, meanwhile, would be crazy to let Sundin go to a team in their own division without getting something very valuable in return. Bad enough the Habs’ host broadcaster, RDS, nabbed the Hockey Night theme from the CBC, the Leafs de facto host broadcaster. Imagine their fans’ reaction to watching their former captain beat the crap out of them eight times next year…

So don’t bet your mule on this one.

In other pre-draft news … the Sens are dispensing with problem child Ray Emery, chucking him on waivers and preparing to buy him out. Moral of the story, kids, is get to practice on time, keep your stick on the ice, and always lease—never buy—your big white Hummer.

Film Reviews: Get Smart, The Love Guru, My Winnipeg

By Brian D. Johnson - Friday, June 20, 2008 at 10:39 AM - 0 Comments

This weekend marks a showdown between two goofy Hollywood comedies about mild-mannered bozos endowed with extravagantly fake professional lives: Get Smart and The Love Guru. Aside from offering a choice between a spy who uses a shoe phone and a self-help pundit who glides around on a motorized hassock, these two movies present two distinct options: smart or dumb.

For a film derived from a vintage TV series, Get Smart is more original than you might expect, with a deft script and an elegant performance by Steve Carell. Mike Myers is no dummy. But in The Love Guru, as if sending up hockey and self-help is not enough, he smothers his wit with the kind of crude puns, penis jokes and toilet humour that became a staple of the Austin Powers franchise. Maybe he’s got his audience figured out. Who knows? If it worked before, maybe it will work again. But I’m beginning to wonder if a special restricted rating should be created for movies like this—preventing anyone over the age of 14 from attending.

Meanwhile, if you’re willing to venture beyond Hollywood, there’s a third comedy option this weekend that offers a far superior brand of hyperbole. My Winnipeg, an extraordinary feat of documentary delirium by Guy Maddin, is smarter and funnier than both other films combined. It’s a brilliant work of stunning originality.

Get Smart

Long before Austin Powers spoofed James Bond, there was Get Smart. I’m old enough to have fond memories of the TV series, from its original broadcast, not syndication. Created by Mel Brooks and Buck Henry in 1965, it belonged to a wave of spy shows in the ’60s—along with The Man From U.N.C.L.E. and The Avengers—that either aped or mocked the James Bond fantasy, and gave TV viewers their first mainstream taste of quirky, post-modern style. Get Smart was a pure send-up. And despite a flimsy concept, what the series won our affection via the deadpan charm of the actors: Don Adams as the bumbling Maxwell Smart and Barbara Feldon as his foxy sidekick. Continue…

Ron-ny Ron-ny Ron-ny

By Steve Maich - Wednesday, June 11, 2008 at 11:49 AM - 0 Comments

The Toronto media is, thus far, giving the thumbs-up to the Leafs new coach Ron Wilson. That, in itself, is no surprise. The Leafs always hire good coaches, or at least, coaches that seem competent and well-qualified until they get behind the bench. Paul Maurice, Pat Quinn, Pat Burns – all came with pretty strong professional credentials, and so does Wilson. I will spare you the obligatory skepticism – I’ll refrain from mentioning that he’s never won a cup, and that the San Jose Sharks massively underperformed under his leadership the past two seasons. Fair to say that Wilson is a good hockey guy, is respected around the league, and should have no problem establishing authority in the dressing room.

The bigger concern remains that lack of a GM. Continue…

Sundown on Sundin's Leaf days?

By Charlie Gillis - Thursday, May 29, 2008 at 11:40 AM - 0 Comments

The appropriate line for the video grab here might have been “Sundin Ponders Role as Shrek.”

The story, though, points to an eventuality I still can’t grasp—the big man seeking greener pastures come July 1. With MLSE unable to attract flies to the Leafs front office, I guess it’s conceivable that Mats would test the water. Talking about it after winning a leadership award for his efforts in T.O. suggests his exasperation has gotten the better of him.

But Montreal? Really?

Canada's Team… for at least one more game

By Martin Patriquin - Friday, May 2, 2008 at 9:31 AM - 0 Comments

Courtesy cbc.ca

According to a recent poll, Les Glorieux have replaced The Toronto Always Leaves (Before The Playoffs) as ‘Canada’s Team’. I’m not all that surprised. Canada, ahem, teems with ex-pat Montrealers whose allegiances stayed with the team even after they left. Also, everyone loves an underdog, and when a team ends up first in the Eastern Conference after dire predictions of a basement  finish (thanks, Hockey News) it makes those bloody flappy car flags seem a little less absurd.

We also loves us some bandwagons, and that sound you hear is the thunder of about a million of them ponying up to Hockey Night In Canada to watch Guy Carbonneau valiantly dig himself out of a 3-1 hole against the Flyers (I believe, unlike these idiots.) As eternal Leaves Nation flogger ‘Godd Till’ (a pseudonym, to save himself the embarrassment), who toils away at the beautifully bitchy Coxbloc, mentioned the other day: “I wonder what the results will be… what with everyone breaking their legs jumping off the bandwagon.”